Archive for October, 2007


A spark through the gloom
Sometimes the pain fades slightly
Vaguely remembered

So I do have some semblance of a career!

After all the doom and gloom here I figured I owed it to everyone to share the meager good that comes along with my giant heapin’ o’ bad.
First off I just finished starring in a really fun short film where I feel I did some really great comedic work. It felt good. I think it’s really going to be good and I met a ton of really cool people that I hope I remain friends with. As far as I know I will also be doing a feature film with many of these people in the beginning of next year. Great people, great experience.
Secondly, I just got the checks for my first paying gigs through my agency and they were even more money than I thought I was getting! Almost as much as I used to make in two weeks.
Though it’s hard for me to see anything but the gray haze of doom currently blinding me, I do try and take time to recognize and be thankful for all the wonderful things bestowed upon my life.

I now have a comment feed

I always wish there were an easy way to keep up with comments on other people’s blogs instead of having to just manually check all their entries to see if there’s any new comments (which is the case for most blogs). For a long time I used a plugin which allowed people to sign up for email comment notification but I think pretty much only Jess and I used that.
Therefore I now have a comments feed as well as an entries feed over on the left there. Use your favorite newsreader (I use Google Reader) to keep up with new comments posted here. It’s all new to me so I’m not sure exactly how it’s going to work but hopefully any time a new comment is posted you will see it in your newsreader.


No one to talk to
Callous, cold and uncaring
Left and abandoned


When I’m at my lowest points (such as now) and have all these pessimistic negative feelings, I don’t know what to do with them. I decided that I don’t feel comfortable expressing them here for various reasons, I can’t talk to Jess about them, and talking to anyone else doesn’t seem to really help all that much. This makes being caught between the Scylla and Charybdis seem like an appealing vacation idea.


Fighting the black fog
Will true love be the victor?
Unfair battle field


Don Juan Quixote
Tilting at windmills of love
It’s what he must do


Two teeth in my hand
Is it weird or romantic?
A little of both


You reap what you sow
Appreciate what you have
Before it’s too late

So I guess it’s time.

I’ve avoided making this entry for a long time. Why I’m not sure. I guess for one I didn’t really want to talk about it. Also I didn’t really know if it was just a temporary thing or not.
Jess and I are separated. Have been for a few weeks now. We’d talked long and hard about it before coming to this resolution. There was no one thing, no big blow up, no cheating, no drama, no single event that brought this on. I do however think that while it was mutual, it’s mostly me who broke it. I don’t like it, I’m not happy about it. I think the separation has had the opposite effect on each of us. It’s pushed me more toward wanting to work things out and pushed her further toward thinking that life apart is the way to go. She’s moved on, written “The End” and closed the book. I think we’ve both moved 180 degrees and completely swapped places. At least I can’t help but laugh at the karmic irony.
That is all. Just thought I should let anyone know who didn’t already. Thank you all in advance for the sentiments but I don’t need words of comfort, as there is none to be had. If anyone still reads this blog anyway, I know you all care. Thank you.