Archive for May, 2013

Imminently Forgettable?

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I’ve noticed a strange trend in my life. I am often “forgotten.” Accidentally left off of invites, left off the credits, etc. Now first of all, let me say that this is not me whining, or “whoa is me,” or “nobody likes me,” etc. That is not my point, nor how I feel. It is more a genuine bafflement with this ongoing phenomenon from an analytical point of view as I feel it happens often, or certainly more than normal. There must be a reason for this.

If I were to hazard a guess, there are many factors that could come into play here. First, I tend to be a major homebody and isolate myself from the world quite a bit. I also, in general, tend to want to be unobtrusive and not bother people or force myself on them. I only like to be where I am welcome and wanted. Consequently this can sometimes come off as being aloof or distant or maybe disinterested.

I am not generally an initiator and if I do initiate, I will only do so 2 or three times, maximum and if that does not produce results or at least some initiative from the other party, then I will give up and assume I should leave them alone (lunch dates or meetings for example).

While, admittedly, I do sometimes enjoy the spotlight, I don’t like asking for it, competing for it or fighting for it so if there is someone who is bigger, louder, more gregarious, then many times I’ll meld into the shadows. In my acting, for example, I strive for a Gary Oldman-like career of variety and disappearing into characters more than being some blockbuster star.

Of course, some may posit the argument that maybe it’s no “accident” that I get left off of invites, but in the examples that I’m talking about here, I do truly believe it is not intentional for a variety of reasons.

Does it suck sometimes? Sure. Does it play on my own insecurities? Absolutely. But in the end, I truly believe it’s merely the effect of some cause within myself. I don’t mean being a bad person or anything like that, but just my own isolation inertia.

And just so I don’t seem completely myopic, believe me, there are many people who never forget me and plenty of times when I’m always included. Perhaps I’m not “forgotten” more than anyone else on the planet and there is no real phenomenon at all other than the human phenomenon to focus on the one negative aspect while being blind to the 10 positive positive aspects. That’s probably it.

Dream Theatre #12 and #13

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#12: A few nights ago, I dreamt that I went to a party with my friend, Richard. My friend Eric was also at this party but at some point they both ditched me, leaving to stand around alone and awkward. I was approached by a band of foreigners who had a kind of gypsy air about them. There was definitely a Nordic blonde with the, and a few other women as well as some scragglier Slavic men. They started showing me some apps on an iPad as well as little tchotchkes as well as magic/performance/art tricks. I got the distinct feeling this was leading to them trying to sell me something.

#13: Last night I dreamt that my friend, Oryan, was dating a woman we both know. He somehow knew that she really wanted to be with me (I’m not sure if they’d had a conversation about it or if he just knew, or exactly how that came about) so he nobly told her to go to me and be happy. She did and I remember we kissed as if our lives depended on it. Like starving people getting a meal. Like a levee breaking and releasing the raging waters. We were in a kitchen (that seemed kind if dated, though I can’t pinpoint the era). She was sitting on the counter to the right of the sink, which was in the center of the counter and had a window above it. I was standing between her knees and since she was on the counter, she was about a foot above me as we kissed. I woke up with a smile and thought, “That was nice.”

Epic Nerdsplosion

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Heath posts:
Lunch with the moving and shaking Carlos A Samudio, then tonight, Star Trek IMAX with Greg Risley and Christopher Thompson! Socializing is good!

Erick Muñoz:
What time are you watching it?

Heath:
8p

Erick:
Boo, I’ll watch it at 11

Heath:
If I see you in line I’ll be sure to shout fake spoilers. “OH MY GOD! I CAN’T BELIEVE SPOCK HAS UNICORN BLOOD!”

Erick:
Wait, the unicorn blood isn’t canon?

Heath:
No, no. They attacked the enemy ship WITH a unicorn blood cannon.

Erick:
Live long and may the force be with you.

Heath:
Did Gandalf say that?

Erick:
It was actually Ra’s Al Ghul. Common mistake.

Heath:
Ah, right. That was when he gave Harry Potter that z shaped scar.

Erick:
That was my favorite scene in The Lion, the With, and the Wardrobe.

Heath:
Yeah but I was pissed when the witch killed Wash.

Erick:
They had to write him off. It started getting weird when they found his Cylon clone.

Heath:
Yeah but can you blame him? I mean he had to protect himself from the Terminator.

Erick:
Yeah. After the Terminator took out uncle Ben, it was kinda the only option he had

Heath:
He should have known that Deckard would recognize his cylon clone. I mean that’s what Deckard does.

Erick:
Wait, was this before or after Frodo fought at the great battle of Westeros?

Heath:
Well sort of both since The Doctor took them in the TARDIS.

Kevin:
“Took them” in the Tardis?

Heath:
Saucy. But yeah, took them into the TARDIS where they both existed before and after the Chig attack on Earth.

Erick:
You’re confused. It wasn’t the Chig, it was the Chitauri.

Heath:
Well the Chigs had an alliance with the Chitauri and The Gentlemen.

Erick:
Oh shit! I forgot about that one! That was in Day 4 around 7pm and 8pm, right? When Jack Bauer had to join the battle?

Christopher:
WOO

Heath:
Yeah and him and John Crichton have a love triangle with Aeryn.

Erick:
Man, it broke my heart when Crichton finally made it to Earth only to realize he was destined to become Ultraman and never see Aeryn again

Heath:
Well he wouldn’t have wanted to stay on an Earth inhabited by intelligent apes any way.

Erick:
I thought it was a bit of a cop out though, when they got rid of the Cesar storyline by bringing Bill and Ted onto the story.

Heath:
Not as much of a cop out as no one being able to figure out that they were Batman and Robin.

Erick:
Well, that kinda made some sense considering that Alan roophied them after Vegas.

Heath:
Yeah they were totally screwed until Lara Croft saved their asses!

Erick:
And that, kids, is how i met your mother.

Erick:
-Scene- Great job, everyone. That was a fantastic post. Save it for posterity.

Heath:
This could literally go on all day, but that, my friend, is a perfect ending. applauds

Inspirational

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Discourse On My Discombobulation With Most Men’s Seeming Obsession With Obtaining the Forbidden (Or Wassup With The Anal Sex?)

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I’ll probably have my “man card” revoked for this. Well, who are we kidding, my “man card” was probably revoked long ago for a multitude of reasons. Like using “discombobulated” or owning and wearing a red velvet shirt among countless others. I don’t care, it’s time for the truth to be out there. This is a discussion that needs to happen. Well, “needs” may be a bit strong, but it’s going to happen anyway.

I have no desire, whatsoever, to have anal sex. I’m open. I’m not bland and unexciting (then again, I guess that’s not for me to judge), but I just don’t get it. That is an orifice that is designed to be a waste exit. The sphincter is there specifically to be a traffic cop and keep things sealed tight. Plus, just next door, women have these wonderful things called “vaginas.” They are warm, self-lubricating. Accepting and welcoming a penis is one of their specialties. And yet so many men seem almost obsessed with “getting in the back door” to the point where it’s revered as some kind of holy grail, some “rusty sheriff’s badge” of honor. Something to celebrate when achieved or to ask for on special occasions or as a reward. Of course, I’m generalizing here and I don’t mean to paint all men with the same brush and I’m also specifically talking about us heterosexual men.

Look, even if you want to change it up, there’s mouths, hands, a veritable sexual cornucopia to be had, but no, so many men seem laser focused on “riding the Hershey highway.” I think part of this is the very fact that maybe you’ve been told you’re not supposed to go there, or that many women don’t want it there and yet so many men seem to have some primal animal instinct to want to do that which they are not supposed to do or are told they can’t do. I believe that this is the same reason that men can be with a wonderful, gorgeous, sexy woman, and they still stray and cheat like douchebags wearing ass-hats. The whole “thrill of the chase” stupidity. Yet I’ve never heard of someone really wanting to put it in the crook of an elbow, or knee. Don’t get me wrong, purely by the odds I’m sure it’s happened and that there’s probably a sub-Reddit for it. In fact it seems that throughout history men have most likely tried to put it everywhere it’s not “supposed” to go. Animals, pies, probably most melons. It’s a dark hole I don’t really want to explore…pun intended.

I have known some women who say that they themselves genuinely enjoy it very much, and in that case, great. What happens between two consenting adults is fine. I’m not condemning it as an act itself, I’m just saying that I don’t get the obsession with it and especially if your partner does not want it. But then again, I’m the kind of person who likes a mutual good time for all. It’s not some great and rare artifact to be sought after like “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Poo.” It doesn’t make you a conquering hero. It’s the human exhaust pipe. It’s a garbage chute. And we all know what happens when you go down garbage chutes. You get drenched in muck, the walls start closing in and there are slimy creatures that try to pull you under. Have we learned nothing from Star Wars?

I’m not sure what my point is, really but if you’re going to be all freaked out because someone was using their iPad in a bathroom stall (this doesn’t bother me in the least), then you most certainly shouldn’t want to put any of your body parts into a waste disposal unit. If you gag when cleaning that hairball out of your sink, but then really want the wife to give up the “chocolate starfish,” then maybe you should think a little harder on that one.

Ah wait! I think I found my point! If everyone involved is cool with it, then great, “take it to brown town.” Just stop it with the wanting what you can’t or shouldn’t have. It’s ridiculous. Instead, maybe put that energy into appreciating and recognizing what you do have.

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BLAH!