Author: Heath

Album cover to Sugarbomb album, Bully.
15
Sep
2020
2:06

Dream Theatre 59

In this dream I had secured a dream of a gig for me (no pun intended). I was going to play guitar for Butch Walker, one of my biggest musical influences and inspirations, for a gig. We had convened for a couple of rehearsals at his rehearsal space, and on the second (and last) day of rehearsals, I thought a couple of my guitars might be missing. In this dream logic, I couldn’t quite be sure because there were so many guitars hanging from racks, that going through them was like going through lots of tightly packed shirts in a closet, so I wasn’t positive that my guitars were missing, but I was pretty sure.

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15
Sep
2020
1:44

Dream 59

A dream guitar gig
A major inspiration
The apocalypse

27
Aug
2020
20:55

Consent

A long time ago, there was someone who decided it was best for us to cut all contact. Since that time, we have been in contact a handful of times, but always regarding a specific logistical detail or such and always initiated by them. In my mind, I was like a vampire who had been “Uninvited.” I recently had need to get some details from them and even though I knew they would be fine with that, at first I refused to contact them. Because I felt it was “against the rule” that they set forth so long ago and that has not explicitly been rescinded. Eventually, I decided to contact them anyway as I knew they would understand. I kept it very formal, neutral and simply asked for the information I needed. They responded, equally neutrally and formally with the relevant information.

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27
Aug
2020
20:51

Rescinded

I am a vampire
Rescinded invitation
I remain exiled

Kaylee and I Get Tacos
25
Aug
2020
0:36

Goodnight, Good Girl

Kaylee and I get tacos.

I just learned from my ex’s brother that Kaylee, the dog that I shared while I was together with my ex, Elly, had to be euthanized about a month ago. I still vividly remember the first time I ever met Kaylee. Before Elly and I were dating, I went to pick her up from her house so she could help me with some back up vocals on a song and was greeted with Kaylee’s boundless, puppy-like love and enthusiasm, which I would learn over time was one of her signature traits. After Elly and I started dating, since I was a freelancer and therefore home a lot more than Elly, Kaylee and I really bonded. I can still see her signature butt waggle whenever one or both of us would get home. Whenever I would walk Kaylee past the Starbucks by our place, she would always pull toward it, thinking that Elly would be coming out of the door since she often stopped there when all 3 of us walked together.

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25
Aug
2020
0:20

Goodnight

Rest in peace, good girl
Tear up all those squeaky snakes
You’re my poop diva

10
Aug
2020
23:29

Random Thoughts Of Raegan Hunt

Today thoughts of Raegan D’Ann Hunt drifted in to my head, as they occasionally have for the last 25 years or so. I have had the incredible luck and pleasure of dating some magnificently amazing women, and she was one of them for a couple of years (I think) in the mid-nineties. I say “I think” because it’s strange how my memory fades and becomes altered and corrupted over time and often I actually can’t remember exactly how long I dated someone, exactly how it ended, or other such details.

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10
Aug
2020
22:25

Raegan

Love from long ago
Thoughts drift back from time to time
Wishing happiness

04
Aug
2020
20:55

Emotional Masochism

I’ll never understand the human tendency to purposefully poke our own emotional sore spots. I definitely do it a lot and it fascinates me. It goes against my strongest core beliefs (being present) and yet I willfully choose to spend so much time walking like a ghost through my own past. I often wonder if it’s just because those like me love to *feel*. The stronger, more powerfully and passionately the better. I am so incredibly self-aware and yet still so often an enigma even to myself.

04
Aug
2020
20:53

Enigma

Why do we do this?
Emotional masochists
Poke the sore places