Heath

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Homepage: http://www.heathallyn.com/


Posts by Heath

Bacon-O’s

The taste of bacon
Then combined with cereal
It makes its own grease

Bacon-O’s! The Bacon Flavored Cereal!

I was doing a play where we were considering having some fake commercial breaks, so I recorded this jingle that I imagined would appear during Saturday morning cartoons.

Bacon-Os

“Tonight You Belong To Me” From “The Jerk” for Ukulele

I recently bought ukulele to add to my arsenal of instruments. I watched “The Jerk” again recently and the ukulele duet between Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters inspired me. For my first ukulele I decided to take a chance on a very unique instrument hand made by a Chinese maker on Ebay. I call it the “Bat-Uke” and I think you can see why.

As I set out to learn the song, I quickly realized it was going to be very challenging for an instrument that was totally unfamiliar to me. I started researching and watching youtube videos and reading ukulele forums. I very quickly found that there was not a single spot-on, correct version out there to my ears.

You can barely see the fretboard at all in the movie to see what Steve’s hands are doing but through my research I found out that it didn’t really matter, as even though Steve Martin is an incredible banjo player, he was miming the ukulele which was actually played by a jazz ukulele player named Lyle Ritz. I started painstakingly listening to every chord over and over for hours, picking out the individual notes in the chords.

EDIT 2/24/2018:
I have now found this video which nails it dead on. End of story! Mysteries unlocked so I’ve deleted the rest of my post and my “best guess” transcription.

Here’s a PDF of the chords: Tonight You Belong To Me

Ukulele

Bat ukulele
This is what Batman would play
The dark uke rises

Strange Change Exchange

Vending machine 1 has the drink I want. Unfortunately it does not seem to be taking dollar bills. I concoct a wily plan. I go to vending machine 2 which is taking dollar bills but does not have the drink I want. I put in my dollar then press the change return button and I am given 4 quarters. Score!

I go back to #1. I insert a quarter. I hear a sound in the coin return slot. My quarter has been returned with several more. I insert a quarter again. This time it sticks. I insert a second quarter. It is returned to me along with my previous quarter and several more. Further attempts see my quarters just returned to me. I leave without a drink, but with a pocket full of quarters. The vending machine basically paid me to not have a drink and leave it alone.

Change

Fate changes your course
But then you come out ahead
It always works out

Sense Memory

While walking to get some breakfast this morning, I was just enjoying the gorgeous weather. The perfect temperature, the gentle breeze, the shining sun, the sounds all around me, the smells in the air. Then for some reason that I couldn’t quite get a hold of, it all triggered memories of my childhood, walking around my neighborhood, my home town, my elementary school. I remembered a book that I checked out from my elementary school library. A compilation of Science Fiction stories. I only have the vaguest memories of it now but I’ve always wanted to track it down and read it again. About the only memories that remain are vague recollections of some crystalline, large flea-like creatures on another planet and another story about a robot (that’s certainly no help).

I wondered if the school has records of what was in the library back then. It’s strange but wonderful how some magical combination of sensory input can suddenly transport you for reasons that aren’t quite clear. It’s a beautiful day. We only get a handful of these here in Austin! I’m going to enjoy this precious commodity!

Senses

A beautiful day
Senses trigger memories
Thoughts of an old book

Sherlock Themed Valentines Day Shenanigans

A while back Paula stole my pajama bottoms. She later texted me saying she was holding them for ransom. We eventually agreed that I could have them back in exchange for “a valentine dates with original romantic content.” The game was afoot. More >

Adventure

A valentine hunt
Sherlock and Moriarty
Solve the mystery