Flotsam and Jetsam

Perfume…

It’s supposed to subtly accent and compliment, not take over the room like guerilla mercenaries assaulting and rifle-butting your olfactory sense into submission.

The Philly Cheesesteak Scale

So my friend and I are quite fond of Philly Cheesesteak sandwiches. Of course, he doesn’t like peppers, and I get no peppers and no onions so I don’t know if it’s really still a Philly or not, but that’s beside the point. Today at lunch, we were trying a new restaurant which, and decided that, as Philly connoisseurs, we had to try them at this new place. We then decided (along with our lovely wives) that there should be various traits by which a Philly is rated. Things such as taste, greasiness/sogginess, and cohesiveness. You see, these sandwiches were indeed very tasty, but they were a bit on the greasy/soggy side, and that fact combined with the intense amount of meat stuffed into the bun, cause the sandwich to reach critical mass and lose it’s cohesiveness. Sexual innuendos aside, you want as much as possible stuffed in there without it losing it’s ability to remain a single sandwich entity, and instead becoming more of a Philly casserole of some sort on your plate. So yeah, there ya go.

Come my children!

And become a creature of the night with me!

Do you have a dog?

If so, CLEAN UP AFTER IT! There is a reason we don’t have pets, and I’m really tired of finding pile after pile of doggie waste by-product on our lawn. We live in an apartment complex where people seem to think it’s perfectly OK to walk your dog, and just let it drop it’s steaming little presents wherever it wants. Today I printed out a sign that says “Please keep your dogs and their waste by-products OFF our lawn. Thank you” and posted it up outside our apartment. If I find out who is doing, I am going to go crap on their lawn.

What’s up with hair and age?

Yes, a TMI post. Why is it that as you get older there is more and more unwanted hair you must deal with? I probably should be happy that the hair on my head shows no signs of leaving, but I could really do without most of the rest of the hair on my body. As the years pass I find myself clipping, trimming, or plucking more and more. It’s quite annoying. Well at least Jess loves me in all my furry splendor.

Cell phones, and band gigs, and trips! Oh my!

So the intense run of gigs went well, but unfortunately the Saturday gigs got cancelled because of rain. It was a bummer because my cover band was going to play and then we were going to do another Craig Davis gig immediately after since the band that was supposed to go on after us had cancelled (however when we arrived at the gig we found out that they may have un-cancelled, so we weren’t sure what would happen anyway). I took the opportunity to look into having my cell phone repaired since it had been having major problems making, receiving, or staying connected to calls, thus making it more of paper weight that you could occasionally use as a phone. I ended up getting a slightly better “refurbished” cell phone for $20! Woohoo! Then on Monday we got up at “stupid o’clock” as Jess calls it to drive to Houston to get her Employment Authorization Card. One and a half hours there, 5 minutes to get her card, one and a half hours back home. I feel sorry for anyone going through this process who doesn’t happen to live only one and a half hours away from the service center.
In other news, I think we should follow Valerie’s tactics in dealing with her own battlefront. We should just set “Saddam Traps” in strategic places.

This is HNN

This update just in:
Sources are fairly positive that that the initial strike against Iraq very possibly destroyed the majority of Saddam’s wardrobe. Special operatives claim to be fairly positive that his favorite shirt was obliterated. Satellite imagery has shown evidence of him being quite irritated. A secret source who is friends with a guy who knows a special operative is nearly fairly yet adequately semi-certain that they heard a customer at a convenience store saying something in a foreign language that could have maybe been translated as “Oh man, Saddam is really pissed! Like throwing staplers pissed!” However the translation was also very close to “I’ll have a snickers bar and a slurpee”, so further investigation is being conducted.

Todays random thoughts

I didn’t really have much to say today, but in an effort to update more frequently, I thought I would at least chronicle a few random thoughts:
This weekend I was recounting how it’s strange, the things we think are just so utterly cool as children. My example was this plastic robot hand I had. It was a plastic robot looking hand on the end of a stick a few feet long. You would hold the handle on the other end of the stick and when you squeezed it, the hand would close and grip. I thought this thing was so cool. Oooh! Look! My arm is not 3 feet longer with a grippy robot hand! Woooo!
A few weeks ago, also on a trip to Austin, I was practicing with Craig in the living room of my cousin’s house, while my cousin played video games and Jess watched. As practice was winding down we were talking about writing some new songs, and anything that anyone said from that point on was subject to possibly being a song. At one point we were urging my cousin on in his video game endeavors and we shouted “jump up and shoot!” Craig then immediately started singing “Jump up and shoot! grab the loot!” The thing is, it was kind of catchy and has stuck in my head, and against my will has continued to write itself in my brain. I already have some of the lyrics, a chord structure, and some more ideas. Ahh the stories we’ll have to tell on VH1 Storytellers.
I’ve been feeling kind of crappy since we got back from Austin. Crappy as in slightly ill. Very run down and headachey and stuff. I went to bed way early last night, and will probably do the same tonight since the next 2 nights are band practice, and then a gig. I feel bad going to bed at like 8:00 since Jess has a total aversion to going to bed before 11 or 12.
I’m trying to figure out what to do about working out now, also. I just absolutely can not get up at 6am to work out unless I’m asleep by about 10. Now as I mentioned, Jess going to bed by 10 is near impossible most of the time, and unfortunately I also don’t really “sleep” all that well until she comes to bed too, so I’ve been contemplating maybe working out at lunch or something, but that would require coming home getting undressed, showering afterward and all that, so it has it’s own set of problems. Maybe I should just forget about it and accept my fate as a fat bastard.
I think that about concludes today’s randomness.

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The Decline of Civilization…Well Not Quite

Why is it impossible to go to a movie theatre these days without being in the company of people who incessantly talk, or kick the back of your seat? My own personal theory is because all traces of movie etiquette have been killed by the home video/ DVD generation. Now don’t get me wrong, I am a part of this generation and a card carrying renter. Hell I belong to Netflix (which totally kicks ass by the way; I encourage you to go check it out now) and the wife and I watch an average of 3-4 DVD’s a week. However we realize that a movie theatre is a different environment. Apparently many other people do not. They’ve been so spoiled by watching movies in the comfort of their own home that they think they can just carry on conversations as if we were all in their living room (not that it would be any less annoying there). I’m surprised they don’t shout at the projectionist “Hey! Could you pause the film? I need to pee!”. If I feel the need to make a comment to the person I’m with then I whisper it in their ear. In fact I whisper it so quietly that sometimes they have to ask me to repeat it.
Then there’s the seat kicking. This isn’t always actual kicking of the seat. Sometimes it’s that very subtle nudging. They have their legs crossed, which results in one of their feet pressing against the back of your seat, thus causing you to feel every shift of their annoying flesh vessel. Sadly I find the majority of my theatre trips involve one if not both of these annoyances. Sometimes I shoot angry glances in their direction hoping they’ll get the hint. They never do. If only I had laser beams I could shoot out of my eyes, that would solve much.
*tangent*
I often see those signs for “Laser Vision Correction” and wonder if these are clinics for super heroes to come and have their laser vision corrected. You know, maybe it’s out of alignment or something.

My goal is to eventually start my own chain of theatres with a very strict regime. There will be ushers/bouncers in every theatre at all times. If you talk, you’re out. If someone is kicking your seat or annoying you, you can push a silent alarm button on your hand rest and the ushers will remove that person. It will be a theatre where you know you can go and have a pleasant cinema experience, unless you’re one of the offenders. Perhaps I’ll call it “Cinemarcus Aurelius”. I don’t know if that’s really appropriate, but it was the only pun I could think of that might possibly work.