Flotsam and Jetsam
Day 4 began casually. Trying to sleep in but failing. My mind just decided that it’s ready to be up! So I went walking around Front Street in Lahaina town again. It was early enough that not much was open yet. I found one virtual geocache and then went looking for another. The second one was located under part of a restaurant that hung out over the ocean a bit. Unfortunately it was high tide so there was no way for me to get to it without getting completely soaked and I hadn’t come prepared for that. I got fairly wet just trying to see if I could get to it.
I decided to grab breakfast at the restaurant (“Cheeseurger in Paradise”). I got cheeseburger scramble which sadly was, “meh.” I don’t think I did anything else before returning to my room and just relaxing for a while before taking a shower and getting ready for the wedding.
I went 6 miles down the road to the Olowalu Plantation House where the wedding was taking place. Immediately I was struck by what a great place this was for a wedding. Beautiful and right on the beach, the ocean as your backdrop. The wedding itself was, without question, the most beautiful, magical wedding I’ve ever been to. From the scenery to the ceremony itself to the reception and most of all the people, it was just beyond words. I had come here knowing no one but the bride. At the rehearsal dinner, I had met many great people and so I felt like knew a lot of them now. I just don’t know how else to describe the entire atmosphere and experience other than “magical”. As the night grew to a close and the moon reflected off the ocean, I said goodbye to all these people and there was definitely a melancholy. Though I had two more days here and despite the fact taht I had not seen any of these people outside the rehearsal dinner and wedding/reception, it was strange knowing that the next day most of them were all dispersing to their homes or next locations on the itinerary. Though I had come here for a vacation as well, the reason that had spurred it all, the invitation that brought me, this magical event was over.
I got back to my room and set my alarm. My plan was to get about 3 hours of sleep and then drive to the summit of Haleakala, the worlds tallest dormant volcano, to watch the sunrise. Since I had visited the other end of the park on Thursday (mistakenly thinking I could reach the summit from there) my ticket was good for three days so if I went back Saturday, it wouldn’t cost me anything.
As I slept, I kept thinking “wow, this three hours is not coming nearly as quickly as I feared.” That’s because I mistakenly set my alarm for 2:30 P.M. instead of A.M. I realized this about 30 minutes before sunrise and since it’s a two to three hour drive, that idea was out. I decided to just sleep in and that I would just pay another $10 and go back on Sunday morning.
Sleeping in felt good. I decided to take the day totally casually again and probably just fill it with geocaching since that always ends up leading me to cool places, no decision making required! First I went back to Front street and hit some shops (I hadn’t really gone in many of the shops). I also found that since it was Saturday it was much busier than I’d ever seen it before and there were arts and crafts vendors set up in Banyan Tree park. After much browsing, I went to eat at “Bubba Gump Shrimp Co”. It was kinda touristy and maybe a little overpriced but the view and the food were excellent. almost every table has a view right out onto the ocean, and the whole place feels very open and breezy. Not a lot of difference between the inside and outside portions. Never the less, I sat outside for that little extra breeze (it’s still covered…I’m not kidding when I say it’s barely any different). I had an awesome “chiller” smoothie type drink made from fresh strawberries and mangos and the “I’m Stuffed…stuffed shrimp”. Jumbo shrimp covered (not really stuffed) in crab meat and garlic butter sauce, topped with monterey jack cheese and rice. It was delicious!
A few more shops and then I went back to my room for a breather. I had a little nap then did some serious geocaching until sunset. As usual it took me to all kinds of cool scenic places I probably never would have seen and I got to feel like some secret agent finding hidden boxes, signing the log and then hiding them back in their place while trying not to be seen by “muggles”.
After what I decided was going to be my last cache for the day, I was at a very scenic rocky spot by the ocean so I sat down on a perfect little rock and watched the sunset. I decided to hit up “Teddy’s Bigger burgers” one last time, since I wouldn’t be able to on Sunday due to my plans and my flight out.
Tonight, I have my alarm correctly set for 2:30 A.M.
In which I am over-ambitious and kind of like Bear Grylls if he was 90% lamer.
I awoke earlier than I wanted and was still tired but couldn’t seem to sleep any more so I decided to get going. Ate breakfast at Maui Tacos. It was only, O.K. Then I decided to hit ‘Iao Valley State Park first, however on my way, I saw a nice little stretch of beach just off the road (many, in fact) and got the urge to just pull over and enjoy it for a bit. I’m really enjoying this totally casual, no itinerary way of vacationing. Sure I don’t see as much as I could if I meticulously planned, but I feel so relaxed and casual and it’s fun to just kind of play it by ear with only the loosest of plans or see where the urge takes you and discover things along the way. After a brief sojourn at the beach I proceeded to ‘Iao Valley.
It was amazing and breathtaking. I would get vertigo just looking up at the lush mountains around me. I explored all the paved sidewalks and then ventured off into the woods on some dirt paths. I went quite far, to the point where I started to wonder if I could find my way back. I generally have a very good sense of direction though so I wasn’t too worried. A few of the paths I traversed were right on the edge of a steep drop off. There was nothing too dangerous but I definitely had to watch my footing and stay alert.
Once I’d traveled pretty damn far into the woods, I decided, on a whim, to check my Geocaching app and see if there were any geocaches near. Sure enough, there was one 500 feet from me. I made my way back and climbed up a steep slope looking for it. It turned out to be much easier than that and was back down on easier terrain. There was also a “virtual cache” at the ‘Iao Needle and then a third one at the entrance to the park. Again, I made it far harder than it actually was and found myself climbing way up a very steep slope using trees, roots and anything else I could for hand and foot holds. It was at this moment that I realized how when I’m geocaching, I do much more dangerous and adventurous things than I normally would because I’m not really thinking about it. I’m just single-mindedly looking for that cache. This one, too, turned out to be back down in a much easier place.
On my way back to the car, a chicken with a line of baby chicks was crossing the road. They were so damn cute I had to try and document it. I slowly stalked through the grass on my knees with my camera, trying to get close without spooking them. I got a couple of videos.
By this time it was about noon and I decided today was a good day to drive the “Hana Highway”. It’s one of the most scenic drives you will ever experience, however it will take all day. I knew this going in, but was still not prepared for the endurance adventure driving trip this turned out to be. It turns out pretty much the entire eastern half of Maui is encircled by one “highway” and I use that term loosely. This is pretty much the ONLY road and it is narrow and winds around so much I had to stop several times because I started feeling sick. The main stretch that people drive is between Kahului and Hana and is about 60 miles but will take about 3 hours to drive. It was indeed stunning visually. Just indescribable. Almost incomprehensable but it was arduous. After stopping to eat in Hana, I decided to keep going all the way around instead of going back the way I came. I’m glad I did because the scenery did not get any less impressive.
Along the was was Haleakala State park with the world’s tallest dormant volcano. I already knew I wanted to go here so I decided to cram this in as well rather than makes this drive again another day. I thought I was accessing the area where you could get to the summit and the crater but I found out later that this was not the case. This was the opposite end of the park. Now, sadly, at this point my phone battery was dead so I didn’t get any pictures which is a real shame as this may be some of the most incredible scenery I’ve seen.
It’s a long hike, 2 miles slowly ascending through the woods, following a man made trail, sometimes of stones, sometimes wooden platforms, a couple of bridges over a chasm, and a few creek crossings using stepping stones or logs. At places, there are signs warning of steep and fatal dropoffs to your side. I think the coolest part for me was as you got higher, you reached an area where the wooden platform trail was in the center of a corridor formed by immense and dense bamboo growth on either side. It looked absolutely surreal and the bamboo and clouds at this altitude made it all very dark and overcast as well. The wind would blow and the bamboo would clack against itself making it seem alive, like it was chittering to you. There were parts that were quite rocky or uneven, muddy or slippery and all kinds of different terrain. The further I got, the more I questioned trying to come back down this all in the dark.
When I finally reached the end of the trail, it was incredible. Tall cliffs stretched upward on three sides and a waterfall cascaded down from somewhere near the top. There were huge stones everywhere in a massive pile. I decided to go ahead and set back while there was still light.
By the time I got back to the car I was exhausted and my legs were jelly. I’d already hiked who knows how far around ‘Iao Valley and now I just added 4 more miles, half of that, constantly ascending. I set back out on the only road there was, intent to follow it all the way back around. I didn’t realize that it was going to remain a tiny rough winding road for the vast majority of the journey. There were more unbelievable views and many times when you were driving a one car width dirt road with a mountain on your right and a drop off into the ocean on your left but the entire journey was stunning.
The drive home seemed to take forever though. Especially since for a large chunk of it you’re driving maybe 20 MPH if you’re lucky and winding around playing chicken with the occasional oncoming car or cement truck and avoiding the occasionally crossing cattle. I finally arrived back at my room about 12 hours after I had left it. It was a day filled with physical activity, adventure, and absolutely mind blowing sights and experiences.
Tomorrow, I’m sleeping in and taking it easy. I think some casual geocaching around my neck of the woods until the wedding tomorrow afternoon. I will sleep well tonight.
After a nice night sleeping in (luckily, being a night owl, my body is already kind of on normal time for Maui), I had a casual morning or laying in bed, eating pita chips and hummus and doing some emailing while I looked around online for suggestions of things to do. I knew I had the rehearsal dinner at 4:30 so I couldn’t do any all day activities. After quickly getting overwhelmed with possibilities, I decided to just let today be “exploration” day. I decided to just set out without a destination and just drive and see where life would take me.
I started out just parking in Lahaina Town and walking down Front Street right along the coast checking out the sights and the shops. It was really nice and casual. I saw all kinds of ships out on the ocean, a big battleship in the distance, a little old shipwreck not far off the coast, a few parasails over the ocean. I just enjoyed the sun and the breeze and the sights. At one point I noticed a set of stairs leading down to the beach. I took off my shoes and socks and walked down. The sand felt amazing under my feet. I let the ocean waves just wash in around my ankles. They were quite forceful and there was just something very powerful about this simple experience.
I thought about stopping for a burger at “Cheeseburger in Paradise” but after pulling up a few reviews on my phone I decided not to as everyone pretty universally said it was overpriced, sub-par food. Instead, I went back to my rental car and headed back to Terry’s Bigger Burgers, the first place I ate when I got to Maui. It was really good and I had wanted to try some other choices. Today, I really made sure my “beach body” was in its prime by having the blue cheese bacon burger, some cheese fries and a chocolate shake.
Having now stuffed myself silly, I set back off up the highway with no particular place to go. Eventually I saw a turn in to a park. It looked very scenic so I turned in and parked. It was about that time that it occurred to that Geocaching would be a perfect companion to my random exploration. I’ve been Geocaching since 2000 but hadn’t done it much in a while. It did indeed turn out to be the perfect choice. There were 3 caches within walking distance of where I’d just parked. The first was in the crook of a really cool looking tree that looked like it belonged somewhere in Lord of the Rings. The second was of in a really pretty wooded area right by the ocean that was also a really beautiful and secluded area that I never would have found or stumbled on had I not been following my GPS to a geocache.
The third was a “virtual cache”, not an actual hidden box but just the location itself. They’d named the cache “Saphira’s Teeth” after a dragon in Eragon I believe they said. That’s because the place was a lava flow formation that looked like dragon’s teeth. This resulted from the lava flow butting right up against powerful waves back when it formed. This was my favorite place I’ve yet seen. It was amazing. Standing high atop a big lava rock formation as howling winds whipped at me and ocean spray pelted my face as it hit the rocks. I couldn’t stop giggling like a giddy kid at the beauty of it all. Looking out over the vast ocean from stop my lava perch. This is one of the things I love most about Geocaching; it often gets you off the beaten path and leads you to discover amazing areas you might never have stumbled upon on your own.
After returning to my room and showering, I proceeded to Duke’s Beach House for the rehearsal dinner for my friend’s wedding. The whole place is open air with a great view of the ocean. The groom’s mother was incredibly sweet to me and very concerned that I was traveling alone so she wanted to make sure to seat me with some other people. She would take me by the hand and introduce me around. I ended up at a table with 3 other guys and I met a lot of really nice people. We ate dinner as the sun set over the ocean and they lit up the tiki torches.
At one point a man came over to the table and introduced himself as Kunal. I looked up to see none other than Kunal Nayyar who plays “Raj” on “The Big Bang Theory”. Another couple had told me that he and the groom were friends and had been roommates but I didn’t realize he was here! I played it cool, he asked how I knew the couple and I told him I had done a movie with the bride back in 2007. He asked where I lived and we chatted about Austin briefly. As he was leaving I added “Hey, I really like your show” to which he replied “Thank you, that means a lot”. Throughout the night he was s genuinely nice, personable guy and I was a little starstruck since I do watch that show. It’s always strange and cool to see “celebrities” you know in person. The food was great. I had a scampi dish with jumbo shrimp and cheese ravioli and of course, the giant dessert, Hula Pie. As I walked to my car after it was all over, The moon reflected off the ocean and a nice cool breeze blew. Another beautiful day and night in Maui.
I can already tell this is going to be an interesting trip. Hopefully in that good “full of character” kind of way”. I’m basically renting the master bedroom in someone’s house (the owners live in the back and rent out the rooms to visitors). Upon my arrival, there didn’t seem to be anyone here. Since it was just a house in a neighborhood, I didn’t want to just waltz on in without knowing the procedure so I called my contact number and left a message. They called back and said they’d be back to make up the room in about 30 minutes so I went to grab a bite to eat.
I found a little local burger joint right next to an awesome mountain poking up into the clouds. It was nummy. The burger, that is, not the mountain (that I know of, at least…I didn’t taste it). I returned to the house to be greeted by a shirtless guy who just got back from fishing. Turns out he owns the place and his girlfriend runs it. He was incredibly friendly and spoke with a laid back demeanor just like some islander character from a novel or movie. He regaled me with the tales of the big one that got away this afternoon and showed the one he caught and brought home.
He showed me around and introduced me to the house pig. Yes, there is a pet pig that lives here. I set up in the kitchen to compose some emails and we continued to chat casually. I definitely felt like I was already having a unique island-flavored experience full of character and characters.
His girlfriend arrived and cleaned my room as several other tenants rolled in from a day at the beach. She asked if I needed anything else and told me to just let her know if I needed any recommendations of things to do. I told her that aside from the rehearsal dinner and wedding, I had no itinerary and was just palyign it by ear to which she replied “That’s the way to do it, the island way.”
All this and I’ve only been here about 3 hours. This is way better than some generic hotel experience.
Why is it that if something “blows your mind” it’s usually good, “getting blown” is usually good, but “that blows” means something is not good?
Why is it that if something is “shit” it’s not good but if it’s “THE shit!” then it’s good?
I was reading a discussion about Google+ compared to Facebook and how many people are not yet seeing its full potential because they don’t understand it or are just looking at it as a direct Facebook substitute. The main thing that hit me was how using Circles you can have friends, colleagues, celebrities, and any other grouping of people in the same place on one website but you can choose to read/post to any or all of them selectively. Where this struck me was in relation to my experience on Facebook.
I started out with just my personal page. Then I started pondering if I should start a “musician” page. At first, I saw no reason for that but then someone made the awesome point that at some point, hopefully, my “fans” won’t necessarily be just my “friends”. People may want to see where I’m playing or hear my music but I may not necessarily want them all added as “friends”. So I started my musician page. Now I’m also an actor but I don’t want to make an actor page as well. That’s just getting silly.
However, even with my musician page, I still get friend requests from strangers who find my band pages or have seen some film I’ve done. When I first joined Facebook, I was extremely selective about who I added. They had to actually be a real life “friend” or at the very least someone I had at least had a decent conversation with at some point. As time went on though I became less and less discriminating, especially as potential film industry contacts started adding me. This was a wise move as these connections have directly led to work but now I have tons of “friends” many who I don’t really know at all. Yes I know I can hide anyone I want from my news feed but that’s just an extra annoying step and maybe I don’t want them permanently hidden but just separated from my true “friends”.
With Google+, this problem is elegantly solved. Sure, at this point it doesn’t have all the features of Facebook (or many of the annoyances as well, so there’s two sides to that coin) but I can add friends, fans, film industry contacts, funny strangers, Lemur lovers, peanut butter and banana enthusiasts, deep seaa Yugoslavian folk dancers and all other manner of people into their own “Circles” making it very easy to selectively read or post to any individual circle, combination of circles or everyone including the public.
Yes, Google+ is still in its infancy. Yes there are bugs, annoyances, things missing that many people may want (however that’s another Pandora’s box as any given feature may be wanted by many while being considered clutter or annoyance by others). But all in all, I personally think it is an elegant and well done improvement over Facebook and have faith that it will only continue to get better.
Spirituality and more specifically, religion, is a topic I tend to stay very far away from. It tends to be very personal and, moreso, it tends to be very divisive and inflammatory. However, today I feel the need to explore these dangerous waters with you. “You” being no one really since I’m pretty sure my only readers are Google’s web scouring index-bots.
I am a very spiritual person. I, however, am not at all religious. I am not a part of any organized religion, nor do I care to be. That’s an even more inflammatory topic that I won’t go into as it’s not really relevant here. I have always had a very personal spiritual relationship with the universe at large. I think a lot of religions all have good things to teach and offer and so I’ve sort of made my own little spiritual casserole with a bit of this and a dash of that.
Eckhart Tolle was a name that had crossed my attention several times in the great zeitgeist. I’d seen him on friends’ lists of favorite books and seen references here and there and it always seemed to be from sources that made me think I should investigate. People with similar outlooks to my own. Recently, one of my closest friends who I feel more spiritually in sync with than anyone I’ve ever met, highly recommended Tolle’s works and lent me her copy of “A New Earth” along with Einstein’s “Ideas and Opinions”. Both are great in totally different ways. The Einstein is wonderful but very crunchy on the brain, in a great way. I have to digest it in tiny bites. The Tolle has been nothing short of life changing for me.
Now, my head is always filled to bursting with a million different things and my mind is always racing at light speed around the universe. It made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs. Suck it, Han Solo. Recently, I have been going through a very difficult period. Full of anxiety, angst, pain and just a general maelstrom of tumultuous turmoil. I’ve felt like a barely functioning human being in a lot of ways. There is epic, gargantuan, really heavy stuff (to me any way) that’s crushing me and making me feel like I’m in a catatonic state just because I have to direct all available energy to fighting the storm, struggling to find the path through to the other side where it’s calm and serene. Truly caught between Scylla and Charybdis, where option A sucks and so does option B. Now don’t get me wrong, I am equally filled with love, beauty and gratitude but the funny thing is, even of your life is 95% absolutely amazing, that 5% can somehow seem like it taints and overwhelms the other 95%. Which is why this book could not have come along at a better time.
I swear to you this book is psychic. Every time I sit down and read it (and I mean every time), the next chapter addresses something that’s going on in my mind that day. I feel almost like I could think “Hmm, I’m so torn as to what to have for breakfast” and then I’d sit down to read and the first line would be “Chapter 12: Bananas and Peanut Butter”. When I’m reading this book, a still, calm peace comes over me and everything just makes sense. Unfortunately I have not yet mastered holding on to this serenity long term and as soon as I stop reading, like a slippery eel, the effects start to fade until I’m fighting the good fight again but I am getting better. Much better. Like going to the gym, I can feel my mental muscles strengthening. I can feel myself changing. I know I’m in the middle of a huge metamorphosis right now and that I am closer than ever to being who I want to be (though that is a journey that will continue for the rest of my life).
Luckily I had already come a long way down my path before reading this book so I was well ahead of the game but I find that I’m learning the finer tools to battle my personal monsters. I am becoming a stronger, better, more conscious person with every day of my life. If you find yourself lost, adrift, stagnant or just in need of something, I highly recommend this book but go with your own gut. It might not be for you. Your spiritual journey is not the same as mine. Your battles will not be the same as mine. I am still chock full o’ insecurities, doubts and fears but I know I’ve made progress.
I’m learning patience and to tame the control freak within me that wants to mold the universe into what I want it to be. I’m learning to let go and let the current take me to my destination. These things, however, all go against my nature so it’s not going to be an easy journey. The world doesn’t work like I want it to. People don’t work like I want them to. Relationships are not what I want them to be. I’m someone who needs to be fed. Not a lot but at least a morsel. Often. So many times I don’t understand why something happens or why someone acts the way they do and those voices kick in and try to read all kinds of negative things into it (one of the downsides to having a very vivid and active imagination) but more and more I’m able to recognize the static in life and tune in to the real signal.
Don’t be afraid to tell people that they are beautiful and that you love them. And if you are reading this, you are beautiful and I love you. Even you, Google Web-bots.
Is there anything like that warm feeling cascading across your body? I’d forgotten how much I loved you. I remember how much time we used to spend together and how I looked forward to your every caress. I’m so glad to have rekindled our love.
Yes, I have rediscovered my love. Of a nice hot shower. The water pressure has never been what I’d call “great” in this condo but in the beginning it was certainly adequate. We don’t have individual hot water heaters but instead, a central boiler system for the whole complex. I always liked this as I am a fan of long luxurious showers and I have never run out of hot water here. Then came the infamous “renovation” or “the beginning of the dark times” as the mystical sages call it. And by mystical sages, I mean me. They replaced the old boiler and all the plumbing to every building and suddenly the hot water pressure ranged from a pathetic stream that, if you were lucky, you could kind of use your hands to sadly splash over yourself until you were something that desert nomads might call “wet”, to something I imagine to be “old man with enlarged prostate trying to urinate on you”, or almost non-existent. Like Al Swearengen from “Deadwood” when he has those kidney stones.
Luckily I try to go to yoga 5 times a week and shower there. However there would always, of course, be those occasions where I HAD to shower at home. Maybe I was all sweaty from a gig or or had to shower and shave before a film project or had been making sweet, sweet love down by the fire (O.K., only two of these apply…I’ll let you decide which two). I seriously dreaded any time I had to try and shower at home. The condo management kept suggesting things to check internally but I knew it wasn’t internal. Firstly, everyone was apparently having these problems. Secondly, it was every water source in the condo. Showers, faucets, washing machine intake, etc. Thirdly, it only began after they replaced the boiler and this tells my keen problem solving mind that those these two things are most likely related. (SCIENCE!)
So fast forward a long time. I have no idea how long. Maybe a year. We’ll call it the “Hydropathetic Era”. They bring in a company and pay them lots of money to “descale” the old pipes here which apparently have lots of mineral buildup. The first company sucks and doesn’t have strong enough chemicals to deal with the super minerals here, apparently. Several tenants end up with flooded units. The management fires this company and brings in another highly recommended company who apparently can handle our super tough minerals. The kind of minerals that bully other minerals, take their lunch money and make them pay “protection” fees to Johnny “The Rock” Diamante.(SCIENCE!)
They descale one section. It helps a little but they discover that when the boiler was replaced, management was told by the city they had to have some “backflow valve” on the boiler. Now I know that sounds like some vaguely dirty euphemism, but trust me, it’s not. Well maybe it is now, but it wasn’t in this context. The new descaling company checks into this and finds that was not true. Turns out we didn’t need these valves. Oh and it just so happens that these valves SUCK YOUR WATER PRESSURE LIKE A SUCCUBUS SITTING ON YOUR CHEST FEEDING ON YOUR LIFE FORCE!
Valves are removed and, BAM! WATER PRESSURE IS BACK! So as I’ve been saying since the beginning, it was a problem directly related to replacing the boiler. Ah, but our mystery isn’t over yet. Now I notice a nice increase in water pressure but my shower and the washing machine still seem kind of sucktastic. I decide to remove my shower head and investigate. I find that it’s almost totally clogged with buildup. I had bought a new shower head made for low water pressure so I put that on and find that I have AMAZING PRESSURE! IT’S A REAL SHOWER! It’s like, spraying! With a measurable amount of force! A good amount, in fact! I jumped around my room like Doctor Who after solving a universe saving conundrum. I then pulled my washer out and disconnected the hot water hose to find the same thing. I cleaned the little filter screen of all the buildup and restored full flow to my washer!
I had forgotten how much I used to love showers. They weren’t just for hygiene. I loved to just take my time enjoying the hot water. I took hellaciously long showers. I didn’t realize how Pavlovianly conditioned I’d become to dread showers until now. Now each time I turn on the shower and witness that glorious, forceful spray of hydrogen twins having a three way with that oxygen, I smile and laugh giddily. Today, for the first time in as long as I can remember, I showered just because I could. Because I wanted to. Because I was bored. You’d think someone had installed some wonderful futuristic device in my house with how happy my shower makes me. I have to recondition and re-acclimate myself to life with a working shower at home. Never take your shower for granted, people. Hell, I may have a second shower before this day is done. Maybe I’ll do my best Charlton Heston getting sprayed with that fire hose in “Planet of the Apes” and scream “IT’S A MADHOUSE! A MAAAAAAAAADHOUSE!” That ought to confuse the downstairs neighbor.
Heather Del Rio
Had a dream Robert plant was my best friend. It was magical and amazing.
Did he give you a Whole Lotta Love during your Dancing Days until you had a Communication Breakdown leading him to believe you were a Heartbreaker who was Going To California and so as he reminisced about Good Times/Bad Times he jumped off The Bridge and took the Stairway To Heaven?
Heather Del Rio
Heath, That is amazing. But you left out the fact that before he jumped off the bridge, he said “Kashmir, (because that was his nickname for me), Ramble on, baby! Next time we meet I will be over the hills and far away!”
That Black Dog just wanted a piece of your Custard Pie Down By The Seaside. “I Can’t Quit You Baby because You Shook Me” he said In His Time of Dying, In The Evening. Now he does the Misty Mountain Hop by The Ocean knowing that You’re Time Is Gonna Come when you will see him again.
Heather Del Rio
Hey, Hey, what can I do? He left me dazed and confused, like a fool in the rain, making me wonder “how many more times, will I put up with this”. My momma said when the levee breaks it won’t be nobody’s fault but mine. So I was trampled under foot, but his time is gonna come.
Rock and Roll.
Heather Del Rio
As most of you know, my ex-wife (Jess) and I are still really good friends. In fact I’m also friends with her boyfriend John who is pure awesome and absolutely perfect for Jess. I am, in fact, friends or at least friendly acquaintances with a large portion of my exes. The few that I’m not aren’t because of any bad blood, I just don’t know where they are or they lead insanely busy lives and even their families don’t hear from them much, or other such circumstances.
I find it sad that so many people seem taken aback that I such good friends with my ex(es). I can understand why in a way but that’s a whole other subject. Most relationships end up being somewhat dysfunctional, end badly, or at least end unevenly with one person hurt by the other. Last October when I would tell people “I’m going to visit my ex and her boyfriend” many times I’d get that look, that kind of polite vacant smile that says “Oh, okay…interesting…whatever works for you”.
At least the three people involved (Me, Jess and John) are all cool with it. I not only feel lucky to have such a great friendship with someone who obviously meant (and means) a lot to me, but feel very lucky that she’s with someone who I love and who has no discomfort (at least as far as I know) with me or my friendship with Jess.
One of the things that has been hardest about my divorce is when I realize things like the fact that I’ll probably never see many of Jess’s family members ever again (her family is all in England). Or many of the mutual friends in England that I met through her. It’s not that couldn’t if I wanted to, it’s just that it probably won’t ever happen. I love all those people. It’s sad. The mummos and daddos, the grandmas and grandpas, the Flons and Helens, the mUrts and Delles, the Scotts and Caths, the fun friends and co-workers of these people who we met, cavorted around Liverpool with, went to bachelor/bachlorette parties with, the Clares, Richards, Maxs, Nells, of the world and so many more.
I was talking to my friend Staci about this last night. About how, sure I could and hopefully will go back to England someday but even then, I just don’t think I could go back to Leek by myself just for a visit. London is one thing. I mean it’s London and there’s so much more there to be had than just my old memories. But Leek or Stoke are so small that it would just be weird to be there on my own, visiting Jess’s family without Jess and John there.
This led me to a simultaneously awesome and kind of sad thought. I thought “Oh my god! Visiting England with Jess and John would be AWESOME!” It reminded me of when my cousin Casey came to England with me and Jess. Only this time, it would be me visiting with Jess and John. It would be more cool people and fun than the universe could probably tolerate and very well might cause some kind of tear in the space/time continuum. For me, it would be just like going on a cool trip with Casey, or Greg or any of my amazing friends. However then reality hit me that this would far too weird for the rest of the world. Not that I really care about what the rest of the world thinks but I would be really self-conscious about being a “third wheel” or some lingering ghost from the past that won’t go away. I’m sure John would like his own future with Jess and vice versa. And again, it came back around to the same initial point. It’s sad to me that there’s these extenuating circumstances all because of a shared history. Circumstances that would not apply to any other friend. They didn’t apply to Casey when he came with us. They wouldn’t apply to any other friends but in our world, there has to be some “weirdness” about it because I’m an ex. It’s a shame that Jess and I are the “weird” ones because we remain close. Because people find it too hard to believe that’s possible without some hidden drama or something not being at face value.
More than anything, it’s a shame that I at least in part, put these shackles on myself. Not just with Jess and John. Several times, my friend Greg has invited me along on trips with him and Becky and I think “I can’t go on a trip with you and your girlfriend!” Total third wheel syndrome! Huh. It also only just occurred to me that none of this would be an issue if it was me and a girlfriend in the equation instead of just me. Interesting.