I’ve noticed a strange trend in my life. I am often “forgotten.” Accidentally left off of invites, left off the credits, etc. Now first of all, let me say that this is not me whining, or “whoa is me,” or “nobody likes me,” etc. That is not my point, nor how I feel. It is more a genuine bafflement with this ongoing phenomenon from an analytical point of view as I feel it happens often, or certainly more than normal. There must be a reason for this.
If I were to hazard a guess, there are many factors that could come into play here. First, I tend to be a major homebody and isolate myself from the world quite a bit. I also, in general, tend to want to be unobtrusive and not bother people or force myself on them. I only like to be where I am welcome and wanted. Consequently this can sometimes come off as being aloof or distant or maybe disinterested.
I am not generally an initiator and if I do initiate, I will only do so 2 or three times, maximum and if that does not produce results or at least some initiative from the other party, then I will give up and assume I should leave them alone (lunch dates or meetings for example).
While, admittedly, I do sometimes enjoy the spotlight, I don’t like asking for it, competing for it or fighting for it so if there is someone who is bigger, louder, more gregarious, then many times I’ll meld into the shadows. In my acting, for example, I strive for a Gary Oldman-like career of variety and disappearing into characters more than being some blockbuster star.
Of course, some may posit the argument that maybe it’s no “accident” that I get left off of invites, but in the examples that I’m talking about here, I do truly believe it is not intentional for a variety of reasons.
Does it suck sometimes? Sure. Does it play on my own insecurities? Absolutely. But in the end, I truly believe it’s merely the effect of some cause within myself. I don’t mean being a bad person or anything like that, but just my own isolation inertia.
And just so I don’t seem completely myopic, believe me, there are many people who never forget me and plenty of times when I’m always included. Perhaps I’m not “forgotten” more than anyone else on the planet and there is no real phenomenon at all other than the human phenomenon to focus on the one negative aspect while being blind to the 10 positive positive aspects. That’s probably it.