The Ambiguously(?) Gay Duo

Or to paraphrase Jay speaking about Silent Bob, “Meet my hetero lifemate, Larry.”
I thought I had written about this before but I couldn’t find anything in my archives. A while back I got out of bed to find some guys on my balcony fixing up our balcony railing. We live in a condo complex and pay an exorbitant homeowner’s fee so we don’t have to do any outside maintenance. As I noticed this older, buzzcut gentleman on our balcony, Larry emerged from his bedroom, also just having woke up. We opened the sliding door and asked if it would be helpful to move our patio furniture inside while he replaced the railing.
As we reflected on this later, we realized what it must have looked like, both of us in pajamas and rumpled hair, obviously just rolling out of bed at noon. This led to great amusement and a comedy skit with an ignorant bigot yelling “Fags go home! Go back to where you came from! Go back to…uhh…Fagtopia or whatever!”
Then yesterday we were both in the grocery store (where we are frequently seen together) in our pajamas buying hair dye and ice cream. When the cashier looked at the receipt and correctly pronounced Larry’s last name, I remarked how the last time a cashier there had tried to thank us, she had mangled Larry’s last name. It was at this point that it hit me that this was yet another moment when we must have seemed like the gayest hetero non-couple in existence. It probably didn’t help that I also had one thumbnail painted with a sparkly prism nail polish that looks green and purple depending on how the light hits it.

Xmas loot!

Twas a nice Xmas in our household with much good loot to be had. Among all my goods were this T-qualizer shirt that actually lights up in reaction to sound, my stealth Converse, and a Utilikilt. I think I should wear them all at once. I did wear my T-qualizer shirt to my band’s new years eve gig. It was quite the spectacle.
We also went to Lake Charles to visit Larry’s family and to pick ujp his new used car. We watched Rocky I-IV, then saw Rocky Balboa which was actually pretty good. A nice bookend to Rocky I. We didn’t get a chance to watch Rocky v yet, which most people think is one of the worst, but a few people I know think it was actually pretty good, and I certainly don’t see how it could be worse than Rocky IV which was just a commercial cliché ’80s stereotype all around.
We also watched a lot of Larry’s Twilight Zone DVDs. I’d forgotten how much I liked the original show. I’m seriously thinking of getting the complete collection from Amazon.
For my birthday, I really wanted some Bluebell Birthday Cake ice cream. We’d had it once before and it was one of the best ice creams ever. Sadly it is a “rotational” flavor so it comes and goes. We hadn’t seen any in quite some time. In Lake Charles, we did find some “King Cake” ice cream based on the Mardi Gras King Cake. We got some of that, and Larry’s mom made me a chocolate cake. The combination of cake and this ice cream was definitely a worthy substitute. I ate way too much of it. Larry’s mom kept us well fed all around. She made us some of the best Spinach Artichoke dip ever, and even the chili dogs she made were awesome. never thought chili dogs could be that special, but hers made me a fan!
We’re planning on still having some kind of get belated together for my birthday and it may involve Lazer Tag, which was a blast when Larry and I went with his visiting friend. All in all, a nice holiday season.

Typekey logins are fixed

So apparently no one has been able to log in to typekey to comment since the time change in October, but unfortunately no one told me, so I didn’t know until this week. I tracked down the problem and had to lead my ISP to the solution, but typekey is once again working now.

Dear Christmas:

We would like to opt out. Please remove us from your subscriber list as we would no longer like to participate. You make my wife grumpy and guilty, and this makes me unhappy because I don’t like things that make my wife unhappy.
We (like most of the world, probably) suffer the lovely double whammy of spending money we don’t really have because we love getting cool things for the people in our lives and yet at the same time we end up feeling inadequate and guilty because there are so many wonderful people in our lives and therefore we do even a handful of them justice, much less, all or even most of them.

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Ghost Town?

Wow. I’ve really let my website go. I hadn’t realized how long it had been since I wrote something. I’m sure what few meager readers I had have probably given up on me. Never the less, I am going to try, in earnest, to nurture it back to health.
Life has been pretty good. I’m still managing to stay out of the clutches of “The Man” and his “real jobs” and yet we have all our bills paid and some money in the bank. We’ll how that continues to fare when unemployment runs out. I’ve got as many irons in as many fires as I can trying to get my freelancing to even remotely resemble a career. I’ve been working a lot as an extra on films, did some free Production Assistant work in hopes to cultivate some professional relationships here, and of course I still work on the Austin Movie Show. In fact, while shooting the latest Movie Musketeers piece, I had one of those moments that just crystallizes in your memory. You step back and realize that it’s just one of those unique moments in life.
Larry and I were shooting the final shots of our Casino Royale Movie Musketeers piece. It was just the two of us, his camera and a borrowed bicycle. We were dressed in disheveled tuxedos on the side of the road leading to a cul-de-sac. We would press record and I would run down the street where Larry would be waiting with the bike, and I would jump up onto the handlebars with my martini glass in hand sloshing water all over myself. Then we would ride past the camera sloshing and looking in a general state of disarray. Just we finished shooting, our friend jon drove by into the complex at the end of the cul-de-sac, where he lives. He came walking back to see what the hell we were doing.
Larry and I could not stop laughing the entire time we were shooting. We just reveled in that moment of our lives. Two grown men in disheveled tuxedos on the side of the road trying to film themselves riding by on a bike with me on the handlebars sloshing a martini. I think that pretty much sums up my life right now in a weird, surreal, but totally good way.

“The Prestige”

Everyone needs to go see this movie, NOW. The very next showing. Best film I have seen in ages. Jess, Larry and I were all completely blown away. Brilliant. Flawless. Words can not express. Go see it.

The Ballad of Dave Westerman

This weekend when I was holed up in the medical research facility being poked and prodded in return for money, I got bored and decided to Google some people from my past. One such person was Dave Westerman. I first met Dave when he and Liz (his wife at the time) were in a theatre production with me. I believe it was “Law West of the Pecos”. I played Johnny Loco, the villain. I hit it off with the two of them very quickly and being that we were all musicians, we started jamming together. I Previously met Gary Tatum also through theatre and had been getting together with him for weekend jam sessions. The four of us soon had our own little band going playing covers of The Cars, The Go-Gos, Pat Benatar, Dire Straits, Boston, Bachman Turner Overdrive, Huey Lewis and the News, Bryan Adams, and more. Dave played bass, keyboards and sang, Liz played keyboards and sang, I played guitar, keyboards, sax and sang, and Gary played guitar and sang. It was my first band, and let me tell you, we kicked ass. A few years ago I contacted an old friend from high school, Jeremy Hyman, and he said that one of his most vivid memories of me was coming to band practice with me one time, and being astounded at the incredible sound being created in that room.
We practiced for a while honing our set, and ended up only playing a gig or two before Dave and Liz decided to start playing with an old friend of theirs again so our band kind of fell apart. At the time, I was pretty gutted about it as it was my first band, and we were so damn good. That and the fact that I genuinely loved everyone in the band. Really awesome people. We’d never even settled on a name. We’d bandies about many silly names like “Gary Tatum and the Tots”, and “Poodle Grooming”, but I think we eventually used “Making Waves” for our few gigs.
Dave and Liz eventually moved away somewhere, I can’t remember where. Over the years I ended up getting together with them and some other musicians a couple of times to play an annual golf tournament in the Baytown area. We would all convene from our various locales for one quick rehearsal the night before, then play the gig the next day. I think I played this even two different years. After that, I think I pretty much completely lost touch with them. The last thing I remember was that he and Liz had separated, and I think I learned that at the last golf tournament we played together.
When I Googled Dave, I eventually found that he had moved back to Houston and was playing in at least two bands. I also learned that on September 23, 2006, he died after a battle with some kind of cancer. Further investigation revealed that he apparently left a wife named Lisa and a couple of children, I believe. I wish I’d looked him up sooner so I could have shared at least a few more moments with him and learned about his life in the intervening years. I wish I could have said goodbye. It may have been a long time since we were really acquainted, but that doesn’t make his absence have any less of an impact on me. There’s a little bit of low end missing from the sound of the world today.
Goodbye, Dave. Sorry I just missed you.

No! Not The Darkness!

Apparently “The Darkness” is no more. Singer Justin Hawkins went into rehab for a serious cocaine/alcohol problem, and when he emerged, he decided he could not live the rock and roll lifestyle any more and quit the band. After quitting, the record label promptly dropped the band (not surprising since Justin was the key member in my opinion). I am bummed. I think they were one of the best bands to come along in a long time. Many people thought they were a joke, but if you could get past the novelty you’d find some great song writing, catchy riffs, infectious melodies, crunchy guitars turned up to 11 and just all around great music that would rock your face off. Sure it was all done with tongue planted firmly in cheek, and maybe this was they’re downfall, but that’s one of the things I loved. It was entertaining as well as being great music.
Of course this isn’t really surprising to me as I think the music industry has become a very sad, manufactured, plastic beast where mostly only formulaic music for the lowest common denominator finds support. The Darkness’ second album, “One Way Ticket to Hell…And Back” did not have impressive sales, which is a shame since I think it’s as good, and possibly better than their first album “Permission to Land.” Sadly it seems that success or failure these days has little to do with talent or quality. The Darkness’ two albums will forever remain amongst my favorites.

Meat Calculator

Larry and I were at the deli counter at the grocery store procuring some lunch meat. We’d ordered up a half pound of Primo Taglio turkey breast when one of the other deli workers came over and informed us that if we bought a pound of Primo Taglio we would get a free calculator in our choice of red, green or purple. We were buying another half pound of ham anyway, so we did indeed get our free calculator. Not only was it a calculator, but it was a clip on calculator! The top was a spring loaded clip like those carabiner keychains! Wow! I could take my meat calculator everywhere!
This exchange pretty much had us puzzled for the rest of the day. Somewhere, someone had had to come up with this bizarre promotion.
“Hey, I’ve got it! Let’s give away calculators if people buy a pound our meat!”
I mean really, who doesn’t associate meat and calculators? It’s a classic duo, like Spaghetti and Ice Cream! We started theorizing how this might have come about. Perhaps some company had somehow ended up with a surplus of clip on calculators, and one day, the manager of this company had lunch with his pal, the manager of Primo Taglio.
“Damn, what the hell am I gonna do with 10,000 clip on calculators!”
“Don’t ask me, I just sell meat.”
“Say! You could have a promotion! I’ll sell you all these calculators, dirt cheap, and you can give ’em away if people buy a pound of meat!”
“Brilliant!”
And here I am with a pound of lunch meat and a bitchin’ purple clip on calculator.

Destination Unknown

I am writing this from a comfy hospital-type bed in a medical research facility where I am spending the second of 5 weekends as a human guinea pig. The first weekend wasn’t all that bad really. Lots of sleeping (insane amounts in fact), playing on the laptop (with wi-fi internet), etc. interspersed with getting poked by needles, which actually wasn’t as bad as I thought. While I don’t know that I would call this “easy” money, it’s certainly easier than I was expecting, especially since Larry (friend and roommate to Jess and I) is in the adjacent bed to me so it’s kind of like two good buddies hanging out in a cushy medical facility for the weekend. Most importantly it’s pretty big bucks. This week we bought Nintendo DS Lite portable hand held video game systems for me, Larry and Jess. You can actually play games together using wireless connectivity between units. That should make this weekend even more interesting.

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