A quick aside: since I couldn’t take the pressure of supplying a haiku every day, I’ve decided to change my methods to instead post a new haiku with each new entry I make. Sometimes it may just be a haiku relating to the entry, others just a random inspiration. We now return you to your regularly scheduled post.

Apparently I’ve been “tagged” by some look-looks.

It’s the Caesar’s Bath Meme game. You list five things that people in your circle of friends or peer group are wild about, but you can’t really understand the fuss over. To use the words of Caesar (from History of the World Part I), “Nice. Nice. Not thrilling…but nice.”

  1. American Idol (and by extension reality TV in general)
    I don’t get it, I’ve never got it, and I don’t want to get it.
  2. Tied for second (only because I’d feel redundant making two entries about musical artists), Bob Dylan and The Greatful Dead
    Neither has ever done anything for me, and I don’t mean in the sense that they’ve never lent me money or washed my dishes, but musically they’ve just never floated my boat (also not to be taken literally).
  3. Pet Sounds by The Beach Boys
    This one pains me to admit. This is probably one of the single most influential albums ever. It seems like every musician, band, songwriter, and hell, probably mimes, bus drivers, accountants and every other profession in the world seem to list this album as one of the great masterpieces of all time. I can appreciate it on a technical level with it’s masterful harmonies, orchestration, and incredible vision and innovation for it’s time, but at the end of it all it leaves me feeling very much like the line that inspired this exercise: “Nice. Nice. Not thrilling…but nice.” I’ve probably just been put on some secret musician blacklist for writing this. I plan on giving it more attentio in the future and maybe, when I’m ready, it will unveil itself to me like a burrito whose tortilla has fallen open.
  4. Blue Velvet
    Another example of something I’ve always heard exalted as some incredible classic, and one of Lynch’s greatest works. It did nothing for me at all. I far prefer Mulholland Drive for a Lynchian Mind Fuck movie.
  5. Getting Drunk
    Most of my personal experiences with this were completely miserable and ended with firehose-like power vomiting. The few occasions where I managed to get drunk but not too drunk were just completely “meh.” No thrill. I think my body just doesn’t agree with alcohol. I certainly can’t stand the taste of it. What few alcoholic drinks I can tolerate, I generally think would taste even better without the alcohol in them. On the whole I’d far prefer some chocolate milk or a soda (or some low carb chocolate milk or a diet soda now that I’ve given up sugar). Generally speaking I don’t like people very much when they’re drunk either. They seem fake, obnoxious, and I feel like there’s a think haze between me and them that completely prevents me from “connecting” with them on any real personal level. I can understand people who genuinely like a certain alcoholic beverage and wish to partake a little, but the whole drinking to purposefully get utterly Sheen-faced with complete intent and purpose completely baffles me and makes me feel like I’m from another planet observing the strange behavior of these ugly bags of mostly water known as Yoo-Mons!

Now the disclaimer: That is not meant to be “judgmental” or criticizing of anyone who does drink. I fully support “to each their own” and realize that the above statement is a sweeping generalization which does not blanketly apply to everyone. It’s just my own personal feelings from my own experiences. I do not think less of anyone who drinks or have any kind of lack of respect or other condescending view of them. Many of my favorite people drink and get drunk. This disclaimer is brought to you by the letter B and a grant from the Chubb Foundation.


4 Responses

  1. Jupe says:

    I’m with you on 5 and half of 2. I wish I could be with you on 1. I’m against reality TV in general, and American Idol is the only part of it I watch. Though really, that’s a talent competition (you can decide for yourself if I’m being sarcastic). I know it’s still totally shameful, but that’s okay: I blame Delle.

  2. Simon says:

    I’m firmly with you on 1. The next three I don’t know enough about, though I do own Mulholland Drive (I’ve nearly worked it out too!).
    The fifth is a strange old beast. It was peer pressure that got me into the barley-based beast, basically. I’m trying to rein in the consumption myself.

  3. Elliot says:

    1) Reality TV can be amusing, as a ‘slumming it’ kind of thing. As such, I only like the stuff that is stupid and *knows it is*. American Idol is far too ernest for me.
    2) and 3) I concur.
    4) I like that film quite a lot. It is no classic by any means though. I find Lynch to be overrated in general.
    5) I hate the taste and smell of alcohol. I don’t drink it, and never have, beyond a few sips which informed me I hated it. I came under a lot of peer pressure to drink a lot and get drunk when I was younger; which in turn led to my friends coming under a lot of pressure to fuck off. My super power, apparently, is resistence to peer pressure.
    Drunk people are obnoxious.
    The overall attitude towards drinking in the UK (as much and as often as possible – and acting as if getting drunk is somehow clever or an achievement) is one of the main things that makes me glad to have moved.

  4. P@ says:

    1, 2, and 5 = Get out of my brain!!!
    I’ve not heard all of 3, and I’ve never seen 4, but based on how simpatico we were with the others, I bet I’d agree with you. [up]

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