20
Mar
2003
22:20

This is HNN

This update just in:
Sources are fairly positive that that the initial strike against Iraq very possibly destroyed the majority of Saddam’s wardrobe. Special operatives claim to be fairly positive that his favorite shirt was obliterated. Satellite imagery has shown evidence of him being quite irritated. A secret source who is friends with a guy who knows a special operative is nearly fairly yet adequately semi-certain that they heard a customer at a convenience store saying something in a foreign language that could have maybe been translated as “Oh man, Saddam is really pissed! Like throwing staplers pissed!” However the translation was also very close to “I’ll have a snickers bar and a slurpee”, so further investigation is being conducted.

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