I’ve been challenged by the universe to list the top 10 Facebook statuses that have had the greatest impact on me.

  1. All those “top 10 movies/books/African stomach ailments/etc. that have had the greatest impact on you” posts. Man. Remember those?
  2. “Which movie/book/food/tree/color/brand of shoe/Backstreet Boy/number/letter/flavor of Starburst/etc. are you.” I learned a lot about myself.

  3. Sports posts. It’s just like I’m there watching play by play! Whether I want to be or not! It’s like magic!

  4. Weather posts consisting of single words like “RAIN” or better yet pictures of people’s car dashboard temperature readings. Who needs weather sites!

  5. Religion/Politics/iPhone vs. Android/PC vs mac posts. So much civil and insightful conversation leading to more open minds and people changing their views! The snarkier the better! I’ve learned there’s not room for multiple opinions in the world! Like Highlander, there can be only one!

  6. Pictures of food. How did I live so long without knowing what everyone was eating? Dark times, man. Dark times.

  7. Automated posts from other services telling me what people just watched/listened to/or what exercise you just did. I’m glad the robot overlords are keeping me apprised of your every move. Exxxxxcellent.

  8. “Sky is falling” posts. I was completely unaware that every program, website, food, and pretty much everything else was going to kill me and steal my information and identity and was pretty much the most evil thing ever. But I guess it makes sense with the aforementioned robot overlords.

  9. Post about children and pets. Not just any posts about them, but when that seems to be the sum total of someone’s identity and the only thing they ever post about. This way it’s like I’m getting 2 or more friends in one!

  10. Complaint posts. I’m surprised there wasn’t more spontaneous human combustion before people could come to social media to complain about stuff. Like Social media posts. Wait…AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH

is launched off the bridge into the chasm
the SAR-chasm?
rim-shot

*sorry if this pisses anyone off, it was just a silly idea I had spurred by some of the trending posts at the moment. It is meant completely tongue in cheek.