Now that I’ve redesigned my website I guess I should once again start putting some content on it! As I’ve said earlier, Twitter has pretty much taken over what this blog used to do. Obviously, sometimes you want to say more than 140 characters but when I became an active Tweeter (and my Twitter updates automatically update my Facebook status too), my blogging pretty much went extinct. Maybe this new new shiny desin will encourage me to blog more in depth here.

2009 was probably the hardest, most tumultuous year of my entire life thus far. My marriage of 6 years dissolved after which I had another very intense relationship which also didn’t work out. I find myself now doing a lot of internal work in my ongoing lifelong quest to always become a better person. Still lots of wounds to heal and mourning to do. Lots of thinking, pondering trying to figure out the “right” way to live and relate to others, “right” of course, being completely subjective and individual. Searching for the path to my own growth and happiness. I feel very heavy, like there’s a lot of weight on my soul at the moment but I also do my best to remain positive and always keep perspective. Every night I try to let my final thought be of gratitude for all that I have and how wonderful my life is, even at the worst of times. Just like working out your body, your mind, emotional health and soul need to be worked out and strengthened too. Accepting our own flaws while working out those muscles to become stronger in the power of our minds and thoughts. I still fail, many times on a daily basis in many ways, but that’s O.K. And you have to accept that it’s O.K. Life is a journey and we are always growing and changing but the fact is, everything that’s every happened in my life, every person I’ve ever met, every experience good or bad, it’s all led to who I am today and I wouldn’t change that for anything.

I tend to go for long periods without blogging (especially since I twitter so much now) and as time goes on and more and more things accumulate it becomes more daunting to try and write about it all to play catch up. So inevitably I end up with a post like this that just spills out a dense summary of my recent life.
First, as most of you probably already know, Jess and I split up a while back now. She moved out and is moving to Seattle this week for a great opportunity with her job. There’s no big drama, no bombshells to drop or anything like that. It’s all very cool and amicable, just a case of us not being right for each other. I’ve been incredibly public in the past about my entire life including relationships but there was a point when I started playing things closer to the chest and keeping some elements of my life a little more private. Still, I’m pretty much an open book so no need to walk on eggshells or anything. I’m fine. In fact all in all my life is pretty great. Which leads me to…
Now with that news out of the way, the next development in my life is that I’ve met someone. After Jess and I split up, I got to talking tosomeone on Facebook that I’d actually gone to school with up through 9th grade. Being that my 20th high School reunion is coming up, a bunch of us have been reconnecting on Facebook. I never really knew her in school. I knew who she was (her name is Tina for future reference) but we weren’t actual friends or anything. I don’t think we ever even actually met or spoke to each other but we knew a lot of the same people and as it turns out grew up less than a mile or two from each other and went to a lot of the same places frequently. The more we’ve talked the more we’re can’t believe that we never managed to really know each other back then. At the moment, it’s a long distance relationship (though we have met in person and will be seeing each other again in July) but still amazing and totally fulfilling.
As most of you know I live my life very publicly. If you read my blog/twitter/facebook then I think it’s pretty easy to get a good idea of who I really am and what I’m really like. Apparently Tina had found me very intriguing from the moment she added me as a friend. Of course, at the time I was also married so she didn’t really pursue that line of thought. Quite often there are fun comment threads on her page involving lots of cool folks. I started participating and leaving more comments and such and once she found out I was available, we started some pretty heavy flirting. Facebook comments led to messages, texts and then phone conversations. We very quickly realized there was some serious and rare chemistry between us. We had a LOT in common and yet just enough differences to make us interesting and have areas in which we could enrich and educate each other. And she’s hot. Seriously, like Kelvin scale hot. She makes the sun sweat. Part of me wants to just go on and on about it here and part of me wants to not say too much as it’s still new and sort of special and precious to me. Suffice to say we formed a fast, intense, deep bond for a lot of different reasons.
Next up in all the news that’s fit to print: Lars and I filmed three scenes from the feature film we’re trying to get funding for “Brimstone Orphans”. We wanted to film some samples to submit for various grants and to use for further fundraising purposes. It was by far he most ambitious and most professional thing we’ve ever done. We had an awesome crew of about 25 people who were all immensely talented and more than that, were genuinely excited and enthusiastic about the project and being a part of it. Thanks to many generous donations of time, equipment and materials, we shot for about $2500 what should have cost more like $10,000 or more. We picked three scenes from the script that we thought showed the various tones and atmospheres of the story and that would make a good sample of what we wanted to do with the full feature.
Life has been very turbulent, wonderful and magical for me for a long time now. As I’ve said before, there’s something in the air lately. I believe big things are just over the horizon. Even though life can be full of vertiginous highs and heart-wrenching lows, I am incredibly lucky and happy to be who I am. Who wants to live a life of mediocrity in the middle anyway?