In the first part of this dream, I dreamt I was going to visit my ex-girlfriend (from like 25 years ago), Raegan. I parked in the parking garage and entered her building which for some reason I felt like was a dorm, even though I don’t think she was in school and it was also like a big hotel/apartment building/event center/mall. Something was going on there because there was a lot of people and activity which slowed my arrival significantly to the point where I noticed I was 30 minutes late, and felt really bad about it so I called her to let know what was going on and that I wasn’t just some kind of jerk who didn’t care about being and that I valued her time and was really excited to see her. I think there was definitely a feeling of possible rekindled romance on the horizon.Continue reading…
Cerebral Flotsam And Jetsam - My Mental Maelstrom
I was talking to this girl I was in love with. In the dream I don’t think she was actually anyone from real life, but at the same time my subconscious knew she represented a person or maybe two people from my past. We were school mates, I’m not sure what grade, but either High School or college.
She was informing me that she was going away. Moving or something maybe. I realized that she meant immediately and wouldn’t even finish out the school year. In fact, I realized this conversation was the last we would ever have. Goodbye forever. Somehow I knew I would never see her again. I don’t remember if we were dating or if I was just in love with her but I know it was a warm and friendly conversation though I was dying inside. After she was gone, I was empty and I drove around in a van crying my eyes out, listening to music, and knowing that I had just seen and spoken to her for the last time.
Then I woke up and tried to shake that heaviness off.
Years ago, when I was first looking for a good webcam for streaming (and since the pandemic, tons of Zooming, etc.), everything I read led to the Logitech C920 series. I ended up getting the newest one in that line at the time, the C922x. Overall it’s been a fine camera but there were a few quirks that always bothered me. Firstly, as noted all over the internet, it has the very annoying quirk of not saving the camera settings. Streamers are always complaining that they have to tweak their cameras every time they use them. I ended up downloading a third party program called WebCamCfg which is pretty slick and let’s you save/load settings using any .txt editor to alter a .cfg file. However I was still annoyed that I needed this at all. Also there were several Logitech software suites for the camera and none of them did everything. They each did some things. I ended up settling on LogiCapture as my favorite because you can actually use the program itself as your video source (instead of the camera directly) which allows you to tweak settings, zoom, etc., while live with camera, which you usually can’t do with every other camera software suite I’ve used. Usually the camera can’t be in use by another program if you want to adjust it. But even LogiCapture did not give me the ability to turn off auto-exposure which I like to do as I like running everything manually for various reasons.Continue reading…
I know you’ll never see this, but sometimes things just need to be put out of my head and into the universe.
I’m sorry for who I was after our breakup. I was a broken, desperate, shell of a sub-human in overwhelming pain who didn’t really want to be alive. I wasn’t myself, or even close to my best self or the person you fell in love with. I wasn’t someone I even remotely liked. I hope that’s not the lingering, persistent memory of who I was, if there is memory of me at all. I may have a lot of regrets, but falling in love with you and sharing a life for a little while are not among them.
In this dream I was visiting Alie Ward, wonderful human and host of the Ologies podcast (one of my absolute favorites) among her many jobs, as well as her husband, Jarrett Sleeper. I think Jarrett was convalescing from some illness or injury (as is true in real life at the moment) so I hadn’t really seen him much. It was the end of my visit and Alie and I both had some last minute errands to run before I left.
For some reason I assumed she was taking Jarrett’s car (a small blue two-door like a Kia or similar make) and I decided to take Alie’s car, which was a big, old, 70’s clunker, like a Buick or something. After I had left I suddenly realized I hadn’t asked her if I could borrow it and felt really self-conscious about it. Maybe I could get back before her and she’d never know it was gone. Hopefully I wasn’t wrong about her taking Jarrett’s car.
I wanted to go to a shop not far from their home, which should have been a simple trip. I had to go down, take a right, then presumably just take another right to get there but somehow the neighborhood ended up being more complicated than that and I had a hard time finding it. I did eventually make my way there. It was a cool, kitschy two-story shop in a small “Little China” type district. As I browsed, there was this teenage boy who was approaching random customers and asking them weird nonsensical questions in an obvious attempt to be entertaining and humorous. I don’t remember what he asked me but it was meaningless fluff something along the lines of “Yeah, do it. Right?” as he nodded with a knowing smile. “Absolutely, do it,” I agreed, humoring his little game.
I got whatever it was I needed, and jumped back in Alie’s clunker to head back to their place. I remember being surprised that this was her car. I made it back down to the end of the street where I had previously turned right and had not seen the house. I went back the other way and somehow missed it again. One more time back and I still hadn’t seen it, so I parked and decided to walk back for closer investigation. Walking up and down that street, I finally saw it and remembered that it was a very small, subtle wooden door in the wall of a busy thoroughfare in that Little China district that was not very obviously a residence and was also set about 6 inches off the ground, and there was a giant gold Chinese symbol of some kind on the wall. Now I needed to go retrieve the car to bring it back.
I tried to walk back to the car but suddenly now the street wasn’t really a street any more and my path back was obstructed in many ways by tables, objects, a small stylized red Chinese pedestrian gate with, etc. I was baffled as I knew I had just driven this way moments before. Then I woke up and tried to shake this frustrating and slightly anxious experience out of my head. Totally worth it to visit Alie and Jarrett though.
Let’s talk about my new guitar. Did I need this guitar? Absolutely not. My Variax will always be my number one and can get the sounds of so many amazing guitars all in one plus so much more (I could go on for days but that is not the subject of this post). Plus I have two other amazing electrics already. So why did I buy this guitar?Continue reading…
Last night I dreamed that I was sleeping on my friend Chris Thompson’s couch. The couch was directly across from the TV, and as per real life, I was sleeping in super late. Chris had been up for a while and was sitting in a chair off to the side and playing a video game on the TV. As I eventually started to get up after noon, I sensed he was a bit irritated by my sleeping in. He asked what I’d been doing and I tried to play it off, “Some reading, some trigonometry,” as if I hadn’t just been sleeping the whole time. Then I realized that playing video games from the side chair was not a great angle and said “Oh if you wanted to sit on the couch to play, you should have just told me! I would have moved!” and went to make some breakfast in the tiny adjoining kitchen (really all part of the same small apartment room). Then I woke up.
Etsy won’t allow reviews this long so I figured I’d post this here in case it helps anyone who’s thinking of getting a Tom Servo replica from MST3KBots. I don’t think I have anything to say that MANY other reviews haven’t already said, but I think it’s important to reiterate what you’re getting into here. If you just want the short summary: Amazing, near-perfect Servo replica. Really your only choice if you want one. Be patient as it will take a long time to get to you (ignore Etsy’s delivery estimate) and don’t expect responses to any messages. Now the longer version.Continue reading…
In last night’s dream, I was on a vacation in Russia where some dream friends and I were playing a week-long espionage-themed live role-playing game. It was our first day and we were supposed to find a woman named Flint who we would be helping. We knew she was somewhere in a 2 street area, that she was being threatened, and we had only a few minutes to intervene in the situation. If we didn’t reach her in time, we didn’t “lose” or anything, we just missed out on that first “scene” and some potential points or clues or something.Continue reading…
I’ve never been a big country music person. I can appreciate it intellectually and musically, but it just doesn’t resonate with me and move me like a lot of other music. So I was quite surprised when I found that despite that, I was riveted by a podcast called “Cocaine and Rhinestones” about the history of modern country music. The most recent episode is about George Jones. Something about this song got inside me and made me feel the need to learn it and do a version that was my own. A version that resonated with my personal frequency. So I learned it at 2am last night and practiced it until about 4am so I could record this as soon as I got up today. Hopefully those who hold this song sacred don’t think this is some kind of abomination, but this is how that song came out when filtered through me.
Mixed and mastered audio now available on bandcamp and soon, all major streaming services.