Cerebral Flotsam And Jetsam - My Mental Maelstrom

"Eternal" Cover Art
23
Nov
2020
16:13

New Song Alert: “Eternal”

NEW SONG! WOOOOO!Here it is! The new collaboration with Andrew L. Hunter, one of my best friends for almost 40 years. We’ve come a long way since the days of spending the night at my house and making up silly songs on a cassette recorder. As usual, Andy sent me the synth tracks, lyrics, and a melody and let me take it from there. To my ears, this is what happens if you you put Genesis, Duran Duran, David Bowie, and The Police in a blender and add a dash of that personal seasoning and a melange of other influences. Available on Bandcamp, Reverbnation, and soon coming to all major streaming and purchase platforms.

"Eternal" Cover Art
“Eternal” Cover Art by Andrew Hunter
12
Nov
2020
20:59

Ologies Podcast “Behind The Music”

Nick Thorburn of the band Islands composed the theme song for the wonderful “Ologies” podcast. Here we see some behind the scenes footage of one of the hottest studio musicians that Nick brought in to record.

Nick eventually opted to go instrumental after a falling out with his lyricist. Here’s rare footage of the original vocal track.

12
Nov
2020
20:55

Guitar Hero

Sometimes you get a really silly idea. Then you go to execute that idea and it’s way harder and more involved than you thought, but you’re committed and make it happen. I commit to my absurdity. Music written by Foreigner (Jukebox Hero).

12
Nov
2020
20:52

The Solo From “Wait” By White Lion

I feel like things that I learned during my younger years are more “sticky.” Songs I haven’t played in 30 years will come right back while on the other hand stuff I’ve learned more recently I have to refresh far more often if I want to remember it.

From the moment this song came out, I loved this band, the guitarist, Vito Bratta, and specifically this song and this solo. It was another major landmark in my guitar journey. Much to my surprise, when I decided on a whim to play this tonight, it took no refreshing. A few passes through it and it was right there, still permanently stored in the mental archives.

31
Oct
2020
18:06

Existential Crises

For a long time now I’ve battled with the dichotomy of my chosen careers, specifically the acting world. Acting is one of the things that fulfills me like little else. I feel completely in my element, satiated on the deepest spiritual level, and like it is one of my prime purposes for existence. I can’t imagine ever being completely happy without it in my life.

And yet, the reality is that it also causes me great unhappiness for what may be a majority of the time. It fairly constantly makes me feel “not enough,” “not as good as,” and makes me wonder what is wrong with me that I can’t see that keeps people from loving me more.

Luckily, I am a very self-aware person who has traveled far on my perpetual spiritual journey, and I know that those feelings are all ego-based. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean I have a solution or am able to not feel them. Every day I have the internal argument of thinking that if something causes that much internal strife, then maybe it’s something you should remove from your life, and yet I just can’t imagine doing that and being even remotely happy. It’s a quandary.

So I just try to take my own advice of “Keep your head down and do good work,” and continue working on myself, being present, letting go of ego, and just trying to better tomorrow than I am today. It’s just strange that something can feel so a part of me, so necessary to feed my soul, and yet make me so happy and unhappy simultaneously. She’s a strange mistress, the muse.

Album cover to Sugarbomb album, Bully.
15
Sep
2020
2:06

Dream Theatre 59

In this dream I had secured a dream of a gig for me (no pun intended). I was going to play guitar for Butch Walker, one of my biggest musical influences and inspirations, for a gig. We had convened for a couple of rehearsals at his rehearsal space, and on the second (and last) day of rehearsals, I thought a couple of my guitars might be missing. In this dream logic, I couldn’t quite be sure because there were so many guitars hanging from racks, that going through them was like going through lots of tightly packed shirts in a closet, so I wasn’t positive that my guitars were missing, but I was pretty sure.

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27
Aug
2020
20:55

Consent

A long time ago, there was someone who decided it was best for us to cut all contact. Since that time, we have been in contact a handful of times, but always regarding a specific logistical detail or such and always initiated by them. In my mind, I was like a vampire who had been “Uninvited.” I recently had need to get some details from them and even though I knew they would be fine with that, at first I refused to contact them. Because I felt it was “against the rule” that they set forth so long ago and that has not explicitly been rescinded. Eventually, I decided to contact them anyway as I knew they would understand. I kept it very formal, neutral and simply asked for the information I needed. They responded, equally neutrally and formally with the relevant information.

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Kaylee and I Get Tacos
25
Aug
2020
0:36

Goodnight, Good Girl

Kaylee and I get tacos.

I just learned from my ex’s brother that Kaylee, the dog that I shared while I was together with my ex, Elly, had to be euthanized about a month ago. I still vividly remember the first time I ever met Kaylee. Before Elly and I were dating, I went to pick her up from her house so she could help me with some back up vocals on a song and was greeted with Kaylee’s boundless, puppy-like love and enthusiasm, which I would learn over time was one of her signature traits. After Elly and I started dating, since I was a freelancer and therefore home a lot more than Elly, Kaylee and I really bonded. I can still see her signature butt waggle whenever one or both of us would get home. Whenever I would walk Kaylee past the Starbucks by our place, she would always pull toward it, thinking that Elly would be coming out of the door since she often stopped there when all 3 of us walked together.

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