Category: Flotsam and Jetsam


Dream Theatre 70

Woke up from exhausting cliché theatre dreams.

In this one I was starring in yet another production of Cyrano (my 3rd, and my 2nd go as the main antagonist, De Guiche). Clare Costello was Roxane. This was pretty much my typical theatre stress dream.I had just come off from a scene as pirate (there aren’t actually pirates in Cyrano, but the Gascony cadets are similar) and had to change to come back on as De Guiche for a scene with Roxane. I couldn’t find my costume pieces so I decided to check the other end of the theater but the only way to get there without the audience seeing me was to go outside, run around the side and then enter this side door that led to a little nook for a Stage Manager or something. When you opened the door, there was a very tall chair right at your level which allowed whoever was sitting there to view the stage through a high window. The floor was a good 10′ or so below. I managed to make my down safely but realized there was nowhere I could go from here without being seen by the audience.

I climbed my way back up avoiding a roach on the bottom of the door frame and ran back, around to the backstage area. Luckily I realized that I had more time than I thought but I had mostly wasted it with my trip around the theater. While frantically searching for anything that might work for a costume, I realized that the next few scenes felt very unfamiliar. It was closing night and I suddenly wondered if we had accidentally skipped these scenes the previous 2 nights. I asked Clare if we had done these scenes the last two nights and she wasn’t sure but also said she wouldn’t mind if we hadn’t or skipped them again because that was less to worry about, then she went on stage for a scene with and older man. I really hoped everything would just come to me once we started the scenes because they were my favorite scenes of the show, and I was also bummed that I most definitely wouldn’t have the right costume but, if I was lucky, something thrown together that would work and didn’t look like a pirate.

I started looking for a shirt that would work thinking that it would be easier and quicker if I didn’t change pants and that these pants could probably work. Someone told me to go check this deeper storage area where some costumers had been putting away stocks of stored unused costumes, but that area was already mostly cleaned out and bore no fruit. Back in the main area some costumers were hanging up some new bulk costumes they had ordered. On stage, Clare’s elderly scene partner was totally forgetting his lines and Clare was trying to help by whispering them to him but since everyone was mic’d up those whispers were loud and obvious. The man eventually laughed and apologized to the audience.

At that point someone decided that since the founders of Theatresports were in attendance, it would be good to maybe take a break and do some comedic improv games. They started calling some of the cast out to play and they called my name. I was standing in a shirt and underwear at the time so I shouted “I’m putting pants on” which got a laugh from the audience. I found a pair of pants I thought would work and I set them down so I could change take my shirt off as well to change. When I then reached for the pants again, I couldn’t find them. I was baffled, I literally had just set them down. There were boxes of new pants arranged by sizes that the costumers were hanging up though so maybe they had just grabbed mine to hang up thinking they were just laying around. Regardless, I couldn’t find them. I saw another few piles of pants of the right size but they were tux pants and not nearly right for the show.

Someone ducked backstage to once again ask if I would come out and play in the improv game break, and I said I was trying but couldn’t just come out in my underwear and was trying to find clothes to get dressed. They acknowledged me and went back to start some games with those already there.
At this point, I woke up exhausted.


Unendingly Refusing To Lose Faith In Our Bond

You and I are not inexperienced in the strongest of romantic emotions
You are well acquainted with the agreed upon parameters as well as I
Total devotion is the concept dominating my mind
This you will find unattainable with all other potential male suitors

I only have the strongest desire to speak my innermost emotions to you
Must ensure that you fully comprehend

I will unendingly refuse to lose faith in our bond
Steadfastly shall I never fall short of your expectations
There will be an absolute absence of skullduggery and abandonment
You shall never weep due to my actions
I shan’t ever bid thee “Adieu”
No false words shall leave my lips, nor shall I cause you even a moment of pain

-Sir Richard of House Astley


Cleaning Out The Mental “Junk Drawer”

I know you’ll never see this, but sometimes things just need to be put out of my head and into the universe.

I’m sorry for who I was after our breakup. I was a broken, desperate, shell of a sub-human in overwhelming pain who didn’t really want to be alive. I wasn’t myself, or even close to my best self or the person you fell in love with. I wasn’t someone I even remotely liked. I hope that’s not the lingering, persistent memory of who I was, if there is memory of me at all. I may have a lot of regrets, but falling in love with you and sharing a life for a little while are not among them.


Dream Theatre 67

In this dream I was visiting Alie Ward, wonderful human and host of the Ologies podcast (one of my absolute favorites) among her many jobs, as well as her husband, Jarrett Sleeper. I think Jarrett was convalescing from some illness or injury (as is true in real life at the moment) so I hadn’t really seen him much. It was the end of my visit and Alie and I both had some last minute errands to run before I left.

For some reason I assumed she was taking Jarrett’s car (a small blue two-door like a Kia or similar make) and I decided to take Alie’s car, which was a big, old, 70’s clunker, like a Buick or something. After I had left I suddenly realized I hadn’t asked her if I could borrow it and felt really self-conscious about it. Maybe I could get back before her and she’d never know it was gone. Hopefully I wasn’t wrong about her taking Jarrett’s car.

I wanted to go to a shop not far from their home, which should have been a simple trip. I had to go down, take a right, then presumably just take another right to get there but somehow the neighborhood ended up being more complicated than that and I had a hard time finding it. I did eventually make my way there. It was a cool, kitschy two-story shop in a small “Little China” type district. As I browsed, there was this teenage boy who was approaching random customers and asking them weird nonsensical questions in an obvious attempt to be entertaining and humorous. I don’t remember what he asked me but it was meaningless fluff something along the lines of “Yeah, do it. Right?” as he nodded with a knowing smile. “Absolutely, do it,” I agreed, humoring his little game.

I got whatever it was I needed, and jumped back in Alie’s clunker to head back to their place. I remember being surprised that this was her car. I made it back down to the end of the street where I had previously turned right and had not seen the house. I went back the other way and somehow missed it again. One more time back and I still hadn’t seen it, so I parked and decided to walk back for closer investigation. Walking up and down that street, I finally saw it and remembered that it was a very small, subtle wooden door in the wall of a busy thoroughfare in that Little China district that was not very obviously a residence and was also set about 6 inches off the ground, and there was a giant gold Chinese symbol of some kind on the wall. Now I needed to go retrieve the car to bring it back.

I tried to walk back to the car but suddenly now the street wasn’t really a street any more and my path back was obstructed in many ways by tables, objects, a small stylized red Chinese pedestrian gate with, etc. I was baffled as I knew I had just driven this way moments before. Then I woke up and tried to shake this frustrating and slightly anxious experience out of my head. Totally worth it to visit Alie and Jarrett though.


Dream Theatre 66

Last night I dreamed that I was sleeping on my friend Chris Thompson’s couch. The couch was directly across from the TV, and as per real life, I was sleeping in super late. Chris had been up for a while and was sitting in a chair off to the side and playing a video game on the TV. As I eventually started to get up after noon, I sensed he was a bit irritated by my sleeping in. He asked what I’d been doing and I tried to play it off, “Some reading, some trigonometry,” as if I hadn’t just been sleeping the whole time. Then I realized that playing video games from the side chair was not a great angle and said “Oh if you wanted to sit on the couch to play, you should have just told me! I would have moved!” and went to make some breakfast in the tiny adjoining kitchen (really all part of the same small apartment room). Then I woke up.


Tom Servo Replica

Etsy won’t allow reviews this long so I figured I’d post this here in case it helps anyone who’s thinking of getting a Tom Servo replica from MST3KBots. I don’t think I have anything to say that MANY other reviews haven’t already said, but I think it’s important to reiterate what you’re getting into here. If you just want the short summary: Amazing, near-perfect Servo replica. Really your only choice if you want one. Be patient as it will take a long time to get to you (ignore Etsy’s delivery estimate) and don’t expect responses to any messages. Now the longer version.

Continue reading…

“She Thinks I Still Care”

I’ve never been a big country music person. I can appreciate it intellectually and musically, but it just doesn’t resonate with me and move me like a lot of other music. So I was quite surprised when I found that despite that, I was riveted by a podcast called “Cocaine and Rhinestones” about the history of modern country music. The most recent episode is about George Jones. Something about this song got inside me and made me feel the need to learn it and do a version that was my own. A version that resonated with my personal frequency. So I learned it at 2am last night and practiced it until about 4am so I could record this as soon as I got up today. Hopefully those who hold this song sacred don’t think this is some kind of abomination, but this is how that song came out when filtered through me.

Mixed and mastered audio now available on bandcamp and soon, all major streaming services.


Dream Theatre 64

Last night I dreamed that a bunch of folks were at my friend, Darin Murphy’s house (a totally fictional house as I’ve never seen his actual house). I remember it being quite large and roomy, very open with high ceilings and the main living room area was huge with a pointed “A” shape ceiling. It was getting late and he said any of us could stay over if we wanted. He told me I could stay in the spare bed in his son, “Fred’s” room. Then, in “Fred’s” room a small cursed doll of a creepy girl with white skin, black eyes (the kind Quint talks about in Jaws) and stringy black hair, dressed all in black came to life with a pair of scissors (very “Trilogy of Terror” inspired). I was on one side and a few other people were on the other. Somehow I knew that she would choose a target and everyone else would be safe. She chose me. A chase and struggle ensued. At one point I got the scissors away from her. I eluded the doll and was going to get to my car. As I went through the living room, Darin and a few others were there and kind of laughed and he said something about how they had all got up early to start their cars so their cars would be safe from the doll but I hadn’t. At that point I knew that I would find my tires slashed. I cautiously backed inside the house again and saw the doll trying to sneak up on me from outside the door.

Then thankfully I woke up, shook it off and listened to some Eckhart Tolle to get back to sleep.