Yearly Archive: 2004

“Outlook not so good”
As you may remember, I have some friends who work for a company that I really want to work for, in a department that I really would like to work in, in a career and industry that I would absolutely love to pursue. There were some job openings, and after hearing that I had applied, they put in a word for me to try and get me an interview. A few weeks went by, and I made a follow up inquiry, and they thought they might start interviewing in the next couple of weeks, and that I was on the list to be interviewed as far as they knew. About a month later I made another inquiry and found out interviews had been going on. They went and talked to their manager only to find out that he had forgotten I was a recommendation, and that I did not make the cut to be interviewed due to my total lack of industry experience, and the fact that another company had recently gone away and thus flooded the market with experienced folk.
This has hit me quite hard, even though I was trying not to get my hopes up. I feel absolutely gutted, and pretty much on the verge of tears all day. I feel totally trapped in a job I hate, with no foreseeable future other than going from one unpleasant job to another, forever slaving for the man due to the fact that regardless of what skills I possess, I don’t have anything to really show or prove that I am qualified for anything.
I am quite taken aback at how hard this has hit me. I didn’t realize how tight I was clinging to this hope to keep me afloat, and now that’s gone, and I don’t really have anything to cling to now. Just a general grayness overlaying everything I see now. I’m sure it will pass, but this is the worst I’ve felt in a long time. I hate wallowing in self-pity, and it bothers me when other people do it, and yet I can’t shake the funk. I see no light to look forward to at the moment.
Boo. Boo, I say. Cheery post, eh?