I have finished my latest musical composition. My last song, Triage, was a pour-your-heart-out-raw-emotion type thing so I felt the need to compose a companion piece that was just a rocking, fun, catchy, upbeat, punny kind of song. The result: Tech Support. This is hopefully the final mix but as I listen to it on more systems and get feedback I may fine tune it a bit. As I do I’ll always upload the most current mp3.
Well I know you don’t need anyone’s help, your own ability more than suffices.
But it’s so much better to let somebody else check out your motherboard or plug in devices.
So let me take care of all your modern frustrations.
I’ll be your boffin probing all of your workstations.
No viruses detected I’ll keep everything running smooth.
Optimizing me and you!
I wanna be your tech support, 24/7 I’m there on site.
And though I mean it quite literally, if it sounds like innuendo then that’s alright.
I wanna turn you on, tune you up, tweak your settings til your satisfied.
Just let me be your tech support and I’ll fix everything right.
I’d love to fill your iPod, I’ll make sure that it’s never out of sync.
I’ll calibrate your entertainment center, keep your cables coiled without a kink (unless you’re into that).
I’ll defrag you at your every whim, keep you spinning at 10,000 RPM.
Increase the bandwidth of our connection til it’s off the chart.
Just like the throughput of my heart!
Chorus
Hardware, software, anywhere you need me there.
Hi-Fi, Wi-Fi, you and I, a twisted pair.
Just grant me access to query your source,
Until my fingers are tired from textual intercourse!
I wanna test you out, open your ports, double check your wiring and get rid of your shorts.
I wanna scan your disks, make sure you don’t overheat, configure your peripherals, re-plug and re-seat.
I wanna turn you on, tune you up, tweak your settings til your satisfied.
Just let me be your tech support and I’ll fix everything right.
