Author: Heath

28
Oct
2025
16:32

Dream Theatre 90 and 91

I dreamed last night that my friend and bandmate Chris Nine and I had been playing some shows with Sheryl Crow and on the last day, we played an earlier show and then several other bands played after us and Sheryl sat in with them too. We had stuck around because we thought there might be one big band bow at the end (and also because WHY WOULDN’T WE?) Then when Sheryl saw us after she said “Oh hey what are y’all still doing here?” I remember not wanting it to seem like we were just hanging around hoping to get called back on stage for a final bow and I said “Well we thought it was important to all celebrate together the great work we did” which was true and sincere, but also a bit of a cover. Chris actually took that sentiment to heart and cried a little.

In my second dream I was playing a gig with Skyrocket (who I sometime sub in with) and I had brought my Line 6 Catalyst combo amp. We had started playing and my sound just wasn’t quite right so I went to adjust some knobs. Then I realized that I was actually reaching in the back of the amp and adjusting a knob that on the inside of the front control panel that was facing the wall. Even stranger though was that the venue had a mic on the back of the amp and not the front that was facing the back wall. It was then that I realized this wasn’t my amp. I took a look and it a really small German amp called a “Hauber Gaus” or something like that. I could actually clearly read it, which I remembered when I woke up since I’d heard some people say you can’t read in dreams. Also I’m not sure if that was the actual name as it has faded since I woke up, but I definitely remembered it when I woke up. I also remember wondering where my amp was and hoping it was somewhere safe and not lost.








20
Sep
2025
19:41

Thoughts Of My Uncle Jim

I found myself thinking of my late Uncle Jim today. Strangely, I could not find any previous entry where I wrote about him or his death. This strikes me as very strange. Jim was a fairly big figure in my life in many ways.

My mother had one older brother Mike, and two younger brothers, Brown, and Jim, named after his father, Dr. James Cooper. When I was about 5 years old, my mother and I moved back into the family house with my grandmother Betty (Mimi), and Jim. Jim was about 7 years older than me, so we always had more of an older/younger brother kind of relationship. We were very different in a lot of ways, but also alike. It was a strange dichotomy. We were never super close best friends or anything, but we loved each other. He definitely ended up being a huge influence on me. Whenever he was really into something, I got really into it. I remember he loved science fiction and had a trunk full of old comic books. He loved The Beatles (as did my mom and our whole family) and Billy Joel. I discovered many artists and albums through him and his many friends who would often hang out at our house. I remember a phase when he got really into Irish and Gaelic culture, and so I did too for a hot second. He introduced me to Dungeons & Dragons, first edition! One strangely vivid memory is that he somehow made his own set of Hawkman wings and Helmet for Halloween using two belts, a mannequin head, strips of paper and tape. Another Halloween he made himself up as a zombie. He was an innately talented multi-instrumentalist and singer and taught me my very first guitar chords. I’m sure he must have showed me some things on our piano as well. Jim could play anything he picked up and put his mind to. For years before I had a guitar of my own, I would play his, or an acoustic he had borrowed from Joe Williams. He had this Yamaha 12-string acoustic that almost always only had 6 strings on it like a regular acoustic. Scott Eddy, who became one of my favorite humans, lent us his brand new Roland JX-3P synthesizer with external programming module as well for us to play with for a few days! It was like magic.

I remember he could be infuriating. Stubborn. Irresponsible. Careless. He was also a true artist at heart. Creative, intelligent, and kind. He loved animals. He was a knowledge sponge. I remember when he became intrigued with the occult and thought he had summoned something bad in the added front room of the house with a pentagram he had drawn on the floor. Many of his friends became somewhat my friends by proxy. Our house was often the “hangout.” Sometimes far too late when I was trying to sleep on a school night and there would be jam sessions after the bar had closed. We’d get irritated at each other and argue. He hated when I’d be on the phone with my friend Andy for HOURS before there was call waiting. We would always make up and tell each other we loved each other though. Sometimes Mimi, Jim, and I would all sleep in Mimi’s bed. If she was out of town, he would be next in line to stay in her master bedroom, but if they were BOTH gone (or during the periods when he didn’t live with us), it was MY domain and I loved it. I was pissed when he broke my Shoge, a martial arts weapon my dad had bought me when I went to visit him in New Jersey. Jim claimed he had been throwing it in the yard and the blade had hit a rock or something like that. We loved to set off fireworks in the driveway for the 4th of July. He would torment me by taking those empty cicada shells off of trees after cicadas had molted and chasing me to attach them to my clothing. I hated it. And then there was the time I was sitting in an armchair with my back to the kitchen doorway, he was on the couch and suddenly jumped up and said “Hey, let’s go back to Mimi’s room” and raced back there. Where we then called the police because he swore that behind me he saw “A hairy arm closing the door out to the garage” like maybe someone had come in, saw us there and crept back out.

Jim was somewhat of a magical being. One that with hindsight and age I now see as someone who just wasn’t equipped for this world and the way it worked. He couldn’t seem to keep a job. He took advantage of his mother and spent a lot of her meager money from whatever source it came from (she was pretty much bed-ridden with arthritis for the entirety of my memory of her). “Mooched” off her some would say. I think that he likely always drank too much. He was an artist and a gentle soul in a world that isn’t kind to such people in many ways. I can relate. When I have worked “day jobs,” even the best ones felt like luxurious padded prisons and I felt like a beast straining at my very comfortable chains because my soul was not being fulfilled. It was not what I was meant for.

Jim lived with us on and off over the 13 (I think) years we lived there. We moved when my grandmother sold the house which was deteriorating over the years. My mom and I moved into a duplex and Jim would then live with Mimi in Oregon for a while. Once Mimi moved back into my mom’s place in her last years after I had moved out, he would end up there a lot as well. He would eventually end up in the hospital with pretty much total system failure due to alcoholism, which is where his story ends in 2001. I can’t remember really having any meaningful contact with him in the years after we all moved out of the house. He left eternal and deep impressions on all those that knew him. We had a strange relationship but there’s no denying the lifelong character-shaping effects he had on who I am, far more numerous than can possibly be detailed in an impossibly inadequate account. He taught me my first guitar chords.

20
Sep
2025
18:25

Jim

Thoughts of my uncle
Did I not write about him?
How terribly strange

20
Sep
2025
18:21

Dream Theatre 89

Ugh the classic theatre stress dream.

I’M LATE! My first entrance is soon. Do I have time to change? It’s the old Stagecenter theater space that I grew up with when my mom was doing theatre before I’d ever even started. That place was magic.

I realize I’m already missing one quick cue where I’m supposed to just walk out to hand someone something (a cake? A baby?) It’s too late for that but maybe now I can change before my first full scene with Bryan Headrick. Nope no time. He has already given the cue is currently just improvising waiting for me to enter. Luckily what I’m wearing, presumably straight from a gig (dress pants, dress shirt, vest, suspenders, my Thursday dark blue suede boots), while not quite period, doesn’t look totally out of place.

I go out on stage and we both promptly completely forgot all our lines and just flail and improvise in character for a few minutes before lights go out at a suitable end point. I’m sweating and mortified but maybe NOW I can change.

Nope, my costume rack is empty aside from a vest and suspenders. Did my costume get laundered and not put back? No time to figure it out. I guess I’ll keep going in my street clothes. OH NO. But the next number I’m supposed to be a street urchin in the ensemble in a different costume! Well that’s not happening. The number will survive without me.

I start trying to put my other clothes back on and somehow end up with some different khaki pants on backwards which I don’t realize until I’m trying to pull something else on over them (a second pair of pants? A jumpsuit?) and it’s extra difficult.

I believe this is when I mercifully woke up.

20
Sep
2025
18:20

Dream 89

Classic actor dream
Everything is going wrong
Where’s the cake/baby

22
Jul
2025
20:27

Dream Theatre 88

In this dream, I was subbing in on bass in my friends’ band, Mock Lobster, a real B-52s tribute band. We were playing one short set somewhere and I was also trying to get my ex-girlfriend to come see the show. In the dream we were still fresh in the breakup phase and it was all sad and morose. She said she would come but that it was going to be the last time she would see me or talk to me.

Cut to show time and I’m backstage struggling to find and item I need (a power supply or something). I’m in a rush and I have to look several places. My gig bag, my accessories case, another bag. Then I realize I’m missing another item (a cable this time maybe), and again I scour all the places. The band has started and I’ve missed several songs in our already short set and I hope I can make it in time to at least play on a few! I don’t think I made it on stage before I woke up.

22
Jul
2025
20:16

Dream 88

A stressful band gig
An ending relationship
A night of bad sleep

23
Apr
2025
12:55

Dream Theatre 86 and 87

First there was the dream where I had come home to find my roommates had rearranged my room so they could store two big things in my room (like a dresser and something else). This left my already crowded room, with almost no space except where my chair sits in front of my computer. I was quite upset and was like “THIS IS NOT OKAY.”

Then they had some friends come over and now my room was on a second floor with big open glass doors to a small platform with no railings or anything. One of their friends was out there very precariously and seemingly pretty oblivious as well and I was very worried he was about to fall to his death or at least great injury.

Then more weirdly hectic and anxious dreams last night. Which is strange as I am actually in a pretty calm phase right now and not really feeling anxious about anything, and not much on my plate, so I’m not sure why this is.

I was at an airport to go visit my friend Esteban, who lived in Florida (in the dream). I was there very early as I always am so I decided to pass the time walking around. It was a very strange and confusing airport layout with lots of sections outside. Once I got to the more secure gate sections I realized I had left my bag back at the pre-gate “lobby“ area. It was very confusing trying to find my way back there and I asked someone for directions and they told me I could go up to this worker up ahead and just have them let me through this special door to get back there.  I don’t remember if I ever made it back there or not, but I don’t remember ever retrieving my bag so I just hoped that I’d be able to call the airport and they would’ve found it and be able to send it to me.

In the meantime, I had decided to buy this new video game system there at the airport. I took it all out of the box to check it out, but then realized I needed a better way to carry it and a few other items onto the plane. Weirdly there were tons of used shopping and gift bags strewn all over the floor, so I found a suitably sized green one and put my stuff inside. I realized I had lost track of time and now it was getting really close to time for my flight. So I looked for my green bag and I couldn’t find it. There had been some people around and I thought one of them must have seen the video game system in it and stolen it. I frantically looked but definitely couldn’t find it and had to start running for my plane.

Again, it was very confusing and I was running along what felt more like an outdoor strip mall to find the gates. As I was running another airport, employee asked if they could help and I said that I needed to know what gate the flight from Austin to Florida was, She told me it was E 14 which was pretty far away, but she thought it was possible. If it was one more letter away, she did not think it would’ve been possible. She offered to give me a ride there on her cart for five dollars. I told her I didn’t have any cash on me And she was basically like “Oh that’s too bad. Good luck!“

I hustled as fast as I could, knowing I most likely was not going to make it, though I hadn’t heard a boarding announcement yet. As I passed an agent behind a desk along this outdoor concourse, the agent quietly said “Heath? They need you to pick up a phone and call this number.” I had no idea how she knew it was me, but I did it hoping that if they knew I was on my way, they wouldn’t leave. Then she said something that was very confusing to me, but sounded like there was some kind of murder or hostage situation, but she said it so nonchalantly that I thought I must’ve surely misunderstood. Something about a ranking system or who would be the last one standing or something.

Then I woke up.

23
Apr
2025
12:53

Dream 86 and 87

Anxiety dreams
Inappropriate roommates
Didn’t make the flight