Author: Heath

02
Oct
2024
18:13

Dream Theatre 82 and 83

In the first dream, I had walked into some house for some reason I can’t remember. To my surprise, I found a party going on hosted by my friend Esteban who live outside of Dallas. He and I were inseparable best friends and later roommates in the late 90s but haven’t been in touch very often in recent years.

I was shocked that he was in town, much less hosting a party and that he hadn’t invited me or been in contact in any way. We got to talking and he was staying at this place while he was in town working on some movie or TV show. This was also surprising as he had never been involved in the entertainment industry in any way. He reveled that because I never really contact him much these days, I’m not really a great friend so he decided not to contact me. He had sort of just stumbled into some pretty high profile producer type jobs in recent years but on this one he was doing some grip work of some kind. Maybe Key Grip.

In my later dream, I was hosting Stella Cole, a singer I know from Tik Tok who is now on tour and pretty popular for singing in a very classic/jazz retro style. I was showing her around town, driving her around, going out to eat, etc. It was some kind of event such as SXSW or something similar. I believe there was also some romantic vibes, and look before anyone jumps on me about her being too young, I don’t control my dreams and she’s talented, pretty, and has a great voice and smile so give my brain a break, will ya?

22
Aug
2024
0:07

Mrs. Riley

For some reason I found myself thinking about my favorite teacher, Cindy Riley. Mrs. Riley was my eighth grade English teacher. This was a “gifted and talented” English class (or maybe it was “honors” or “advanced,” I can’t remember which term was in use that year) which meant we focused less on the technical grammar stuff (though still present, obviously) and more on creativity. I remember when she played us “Piano Man” by Billy Joel and we analyzed the lyrics and the poetic and storytelling style. I also remember how I was really into Billy Joel’s “The Stranger,” “52nd Street,” and “Glass Houses” albums, and his voice on “Piano Man” is quite different from those later albums to the point that I though it was playing too fast and pitching his voice up.

It was the class where I learned about Edgar Allen Poe and that I really liked him. And that he really liked the word “bosom.” Seriously. It’s strangely frequent in his works.

It was the class where, instead of “journal entries,” she let me and my best friend since 4th grade, Andy Hunter, turn in cassettes of our silly songs and skits. Andy is still one of my best friends and creative collaborators today which is so amazingly cool. We’ve released songs together. I’ve narrated 4 audiobooks of his works so far. I think that would all make Mrs. Riley smile.

It’s the only class that I really specifically remember all these years later. She was a shining example of what a teacher should be and I have to wonder how many other stories like mine are out there from all her years teaching since. So here’s to Mrs. Riley, who I hope is still leaving lifelong lasting impacts on young minds. I’m certainly a better and more creative person for having had her class.

21
Aug
2024
23:53

Impact

Favorite teacher
Impacting so many lives
Hi, Mrs. Riley

22
Jul
2024
22:29

Hidden Lessons

I have a weirdly deep sense of loyalty. Even to stupid trivial things. I’m also a sucker for “streaks” which is why so many apps use them. For example, I started meditating in 2014 and started using the “Insight Timer” app. I currently have a 3691 day streak of meditating. In 2019 when I came back from 7 months on the cruise ship, I learned TM (Transcendental Meditation). Since then I still used Insight Timer to time my mediations. I just learned yesterday that TM now has it’s own official app. I downloaded it as there is exclusive “refresher” videos and such only available on the app (and only available if you’ve paid in the past to take the TM course). You can also get one on one free refreshers with a local instructor any time you want after you’ve taken the course but being able to do it in app appealed to me as well as having a TM specific timer/calendar/streak etc. all in the TM app.

But part of me feels this loyalty to Insight Timer. And if I switch, I’ll lose my streak and start over! Now another part of me thinks “So? Why does that matter?” Good question, me. It really doesn’t. Is that some weird ego feeding thing that it would actually be GOOD for me to let go of? Why should it matter that I have a 10 year history with an app? It’s just a meditation timer. I feel like there’s deeper lessons in this seemingly trivial situation.

22
Jul
2024
22:27

Insight

A trivial choice
Deeper lessons to be learned
Loyalty or change

16
Jul
2024
22:32

Dream Theatre 81

Last night I dreamt that I had just freshly broken up with my last girlfriend and my mom was counseling me to not make the same mistakes she had made. She told me that when she and my dad broke up, she had got a job at the same lab where he worked to have a legitimate excuse to be around him (as far as I know this is complete dream fiction and my dad never worked at any lab nor did my mom ever take any such actions).

16
Jul
2024
22:31

Dream 81

Motherly advice
Beware of breakup pitfalls
Don’t be obsessive

12
May
2024
20:00

Presence Vs. Nostalgia

I’m a big fan of Eckhart Tolle. As someone who is spiritual but not religious, his books are the closest thing to religion I’ve ever found. They just resonated with me on the deepest levels. I definitely think presence is the goal and the secret to truly being happy.

However I am also very nostalgic which I feel is directly at odds with this. I spend so much thought time in the past. Missing people, places, and experiences I’ve had. I don’t know that it really serves any good purpose other than possibly fueling some great art. It feels like a weight though. When you are nostalgic, the longer you live, the more weight you carry. One thing I came to terms with after years in therapy however is that part of me enjoys it on some level. I’m someone who loves to feel and the past is a quick and easy fix to feel some intense feelings. I’ve definitely strengthened my presence muscle over the years, but the nostalgia muscle is already very developed.

12
May
2024
19:51

Presence

Presence is the goal
Nostalgia is a hurdle
Seemingly at odds