Clogged
No one to talk to
Callous, cold and uncaring
Left and abandoned
23
Oct
2007
19:42
Author: Heath
23
Oct
2007
19:22
Clogged
When I’m at my lowest points (such as now) and have all these pessimistic negative feelings, I don’t know what to do with them. I decided that I don’t feel comfortable expressing them here for various reasons, I can’t talk to Jess about them, and talking to anyone else doesn’t seem to really help all that much. This makes being caught between the Scylla and Charybdis seem like an appealing vacation idea.
18
Oct
2007
3:57
12
Oct
2007
13:56
11
Oct
2007
23:10
10
Oct
2007
16:58
06
Oct
2007
2:42
So I guess it’s time.
I’ve avoided making this entry for a long time. Why I’m not sure. I guess for one I didn’t really want to talk about it. Also I didn’t really know if it was just a temporary thing or not.
Jess and I are separated. Have been for a few weeks now. We’d talked long and hard about it before coming to this resolution. There was no one thing, no big blow up, no cheating, no drama, no single event that brought this on. I do however think that while it was mutual, it’s mostly me who broke it. I don’t like it, I’m not happy about it. I think the separation has had the opposite effect on each of us. It’s pushed me more toward wanting to work things out and pushed her further toward thinking that life apart is the way to go. She’s moved on, written “The End” and closed the book. I think we’ve both moved 180 degrees and completely swapped places. At least I can’t help but laugh at the karmic irony.
That is all. Just thought I should let anyone know who didn’t already. Thank you all in advance for the sentiments but I don’t need words of comfort, as there is none to be had. If anyone still reads this blog anyway, I know you all care. Thank you.
09
Sep
2007
2:47
09
Sep
2007
2:27
Can you call it a career if you’re not making any money?
It recently dawned on me that despite the fact that I’m still in the “not making any money at it” phase, I definitely have at least the illusion of what seems like a burgeoning career.
I’ve done numerous smaller student films this year (4 that I can think of off the top of my head) and of course had a starring role in the independent feature film, “Deadly Obsession”. Larry and I have completed two of our own shorts, “The Ruse” and “Sal Monella” (we still have one re-shoot and the editing to complete), plus we still have a stack of short films written and ready to go that we will continue producing. We are also working with a producer friend on a feature idea as well as pitching some ideas for some internationally syndicated TV shows that could be a real opportunity at some real money (which would be purely commercial fluff with no substance, which is what his contacts are looking for). We also have an idea for another possible TV show that I’d like to write up into a treatment and pitch to someone somewhere.
Aside from that I have 4 features lined up, 2 starring and 2 smaller roles as well as another short. Now if I can just get paid for more of my work, I might have something. At least I’m staying busy, getting my name and face out there and meeting tons of people.
27
Aug
2007
2:04