Category: Actor/Musician

I’m a long-time Kevin Smith fan and as such I’ve been listening to the Hollywood Babble-On podcast with him and Ralph Garman since the beginning. It’s certainly not for everyone or the easily offended but I love it. From time to time they feature various things created by listeners and many of their segments now feature theme songs written by listeners such as myself, so I thought I’d chronicle my works that have been featured and few exclusive easter eggs that have not! Firstly, most of these segments are incredibly hard to explain and you would just have to hear them in context to really get it.

A few that are still being used almost every week are Inappropriate Toys where they feature ads for kids toys and such that are, as the title implies, inappropriate. They also have a segment where they play these two German characters they made up one episode, so I made a theme for The Germans. Another segment talks about bizarre things from Japan called WTF Japan? As you’ll hear here, my original version had a clip from Kevin’s “Clerks: The Animated Series” which was cut for use on the actual podcast.

Some from the past segments which eventually they stopped doing were a segment about upcoming reboots they found unnecessary called No Thanks, We’ve Already Got One and one called Hitler In The Movies where people would mock up fake parody posters inserting Hitler into them with altered titles.

Then there were some I sent in which were never used. For example, Kevin likes to tease Ralph about having “8 impressions” (Ralph is actually really great impressionist) so I made this theme. Ralph also used to do Arnold Schwarzenegger singing various songs that listeners had requested, for which I sent in this unused theme. And then, during the pandemic when they weren’t doing shows, they started doing “Caped Commentaries,” watching the original Batman series with Adam West and commenting on it.

It’s fun to be part of the show and I’m glad a few of mine are still running!

…or a journey into my ever-overthinking mind.

I recently auditioned for a play. Because the casting decision have not yet been made and I don’t know how much information is okay to give, I will not be revealing the specific show or roles.

When I was a younger man, I thought the title role (henceforth known as “Role 1”) was one of my “bucket list” roles. Then in 2014, I actually read the play and decided that actually the other male lead (henceforth known as “Role 2”) was really my bucket list role. Meatier, deeper, more complex. I actually identified with both roles in completely different ways.

Cut to 2021. I’m doing another play and one night backstage I just happen to mention that Role 2 is a bucket list role for me. One of my castmates tells me that a local theatre company is actually doing that show next year. When I get home that night, I look up their website and see that they’re actually accepting video auditions at that exact moment and for the next couple of weeks! I video a short monologue and send it in. A few weeks later I get an email telling me they’d like me to come to callbacks! At this point I reply telling them that I’m really only interested in Role 2 and I hope that’s okay. They tell me it’s totally okay and thank me for letting them know. I download the sides and start reading. Once again I fell that dichotomous connection to both roles and end up thinking that they are both really great and might both be “bucket list” roles. However Role 1 says “early 20s to late 30s” while Role 2 is “late 30s to late 50s” so I figure they probably wouldn’t be interested in me for Role 1 anyway.

A week or so later, I get another email about specifics for the callback. On a whim I replied explaining that the reason I said I was “only” interested in Role 2 was because I just figured I was technically too old for Role 1 even though I do still get cast a lot in the mid to late 30s as well, so if they wanted to see me for that role, I’d be happy to read for it as well, or could also be happy only reading for Role 2. They reply that I could definitely read for both roles so that becomes the plan.

Immediately my brain starts wondering if I did the right thing. “Now you’ll have to split your audition time between both roles instead of really digging in to Role 2! The one you REALLY want!” Is it though? Role 1 is pretty amazing too. Getting to read for two amazing lead roles is a GOOD thing, I tell myself.

Callbacks arrive. First I read for Role 2. They give me some notes and a few minutes to prepare and I come back and do it a second time. Then for the next 2 hours and change, I only read for Role 1. I read 5 more times I believe. 3 different scenes with 4 different scene partners. So naturally my brain tries real hard to feel a little bummed that it sure seems like I’m out of the running for Role 2. Despite the fact, that I had an absolute blast in the scenes for Role 1 and felt like I really connected and brought something special to it. Regardless of whether or not I get cast, I felt totally happy and solid with my work in both roles and I had a blast with great scene partners and a director who seems amazing and a kindred spirit. So really, I feel nothing but great but have to laugh at my whirling maelstrom of a mind that wants to overthink and second-guess everything.

It’s up to the universe now. Well, that and the director.