Category: Flotsam and Jetsam

04
Mar
2013
11:06

Confessions of a Shirtless Yoga Dude

I started doing hot yoga at Sunstone Yoga a couple of years ago. I bought a a bunch of shorts and tank tops made for working out, made of “Duo-dry” material to wick the sweat away, I guess. Of course in hot yoga you end up completely drenched so there no amount of wicking in the world that can help you. Over the years there were maybe a few times when I just felt so hot or uncomfortable that I removed my shirt. Now, there are lots of guys who don’t wear shirts in class. Seems pretty common, but I always preferred to wear one, both out of consideration for the rest of the class who might catch a glimpse of my hairy and flabbier-than-I-would-like torso being contorted and compressed, despite their best efforts to just concentrate on their own practice, and because my own insecure body image issues.

However, a few weeks ago I had a turning point. I showed up to class and realized I’d accidentally grabbed 2 pairs of shorts instead of shorts and a shirt so my choices were to either just skip class and go home or do class shirtless. I found that not only was I much more comfortable but that I could concentrate on my practice much better as I wasn’t being distracted by a sopping wet, bunching up shirt. At that moment, I decided to try life as a shirtless yoga dude. Since then, I have definitely confirmed my experience and accepted my new role. It’s also been a good mental exercise on not caring what other people think (about my body or my choice to go shirtless) and to do what’s best for my own yoga practice and experience.

I still try to position myself in the back right corner though, out of consideration for my other yogis.

20
Feb
2013
20:07

Communing With Trees

I was out taking a walk tonight, enjoying the cool, post rain air when toward the end of my walk, I experienced something strange, cool and wonderful. Suddenly as I looked at the trees around me, I saw them as living things, the same way you would see an animal. I had the urge to touch them (and I did) like you would a horse. It put the biggest smile on my face. The rest of my walk home, I was surrounded by welcoming, guarding friends.

No, I’m not on drugs. Call me weirdo, new-agey hippie or whatever. My tree friends will have sex in your nose and make you feel miserable (I apologize on their behalf if this happens regardless of what you do or do not call me…I’m fairly positive they have no control of it).

19
Feb
2013
14:07

My Invisalign Journey, Part 3

Just started tray 10. Almost 1/3 done! Not much new to say. Getting a new bottom tray in is still a struggle over that one problem tooth, but I can now get the trays out fairly easily with just my hands, even on the first day of a new tray! That’s nice. I already like the way I look so much better. I’ve adjusted to life with Invisalign now and it all just seems the norm. The production of eating and carrying my “kit” everywhere I go with my Invisalign case, Sonicare tooth brush, toothpaste, a little bottle filled with Listerine, and my “chew toy” that they give to chew on to make sure the trays are really seated as well as possible, though I only usually use it when I first put in a new tray. The rest of the time I seem to get them seated plenty well with just my fingers. At my last checkup, they said everything was tracking well and that I obviously was wearing mine all the time like I was supposed to.

Damn right! I didn’t pay $6,000 to half ass it and I want the best results as fast as possible!

04
Feb
2013
13:54

Artist in Search of a Patron

Dead Universe,
This having a full time job is really inhibiting how much I can do in pursuit of my actual passions so I’m putting out the call for a Patron. In times past there were patrons who would support artists so they could devote their time to producing art. I think that I’m a talented musician and actor and would strive mightily to be worthy of your patronage.

I know that there are people in the world for whom $30,000 a year is negligible. Barely noticeable. For me, that is a good living. So if there’s any wonderful patrons out there who like to make more of a difference in my life than words can express by donating $30k a year to the Heath Allyn Artistic Endeavors fund, that would be as good to me as winning the lottery. I could then put all my efforts into my art and making the world a more enjoyable place through my music, acting and film making efforts. $30k a year to make my dreams come true and in turn allow me to move people through my art.

Symbiotically yours,
Heath Allyn
Actor/Musician Extraordinaire

20
Jan
2013
15:44

I Am A Mystery To Even Myself Sometimes

My “social inertia” as I call it, or hermit like tendency to be a loner and not leave my cave is one of my more baffling psychological traits to me. Today I get an invitation from one of my best friends, who I love hanging out with and who always recharges my soul, to go an event that I kind of wanted to go to any way, and yet still a part of brain actually considers declining to just stay home by myself and do nothing special.

I did accept the invitation but I can’t understand why there was any reaction other than “Hell yeah!” I seriously wonder if I have some kind of psychological condition or something.

26
Dec
2012
11:42

My Invisalign Journey, Part 2

I started tray 6 this week. It’s mostly been more of the same but I think I’ve finally found my method for tray removal that works best for me (everyone will be different depending on your teeth and attachment placement). It’s definitely gotten much better. I remember when taking a new tray out was such a pain, that I would sometimes just drink a protein shake through a straw for at least the first meal after putting a new tray in but these last two trays popped out much easier, even on the first meal after starting them. Again, I always put a new tray in after my last meal of the day to give me maximum time before having to take it out again. It’s definitely far easier after 10-12 hours than it is after 2 hours.

I still experience some soreness for a day or two but even that seems not as bad as before. Tray 6 is the first tray I’ve managed to get in and out without chipping the tray edge over my “problem tooth,” I’m guessing partially because of getting better at finding ways to get them in and out and partially because maybe that tooth has moved enough that it’s not as much a problem any more. I almost always use the “outie” tool just to pop the tray off that one problem tooth.

I think I may actually be able to see some minimal difference aesthetically at this point as well! 20% done!

10
Nov
2012
22:26

Technology and the Human Connection

I often think about how my life today compares with my life in the past as it pertains to the technological differences. For example, if I could go back 10 years and show myself my iPhone, it would blow my 10 years ago mind. Lately I’ve been thinking about how social media has changed my life.

I’ve had many discussions and probably written about it here before as well. While I think there are 2 sides to every issues and I can certainly see the negatives that come with it, overall I am extremely pro social media. Facebook has allowed me to stay in touch with people and foster friends and relationships that probably never would have happened otherwise. More than that, I realized that it just makes me feel “connected” to other people and the world at large so much more. We can all participate in conversations that as we have the time and will that we might not be able to otherwise. It is certainly not a substitute for real human contact, but I know most of us just don’t have the time to meet up with, or even call and catch up with all the people we would like to. I can’t sit down one Saturday afternoon and call my 20 closest friends, but we can all converse at will online and carry on conversations over the day or days as we have time.

I’ve particularly appreciated this during difficult times. It’s strange remembering that there was once a time that I didn’t have this luxury of constant connection. The only connection I had was if I called someone on a land line and then maybe arranged to see them. Apart from that, I was alone with whatever I might be going through at the time. That seems so incomprehensible to me now. Just the thought makes me feel so cut off and isolated. I fire up The internet, Facebook, whatever and I instantly feel at least a tiny bit better. At least a nano-increment more in touch with the world and people and energy of the universe.

Of course I also wonder if this constant connection also makes us not make real and in person connections as much. Do we sometimes allow it to be substitute? Would we maybe see people more or take a friendship to the next more real, in person level if we didn’t have the luxury of this constant virtual connection?

Like anything, I think it can be used for good or bad. It is a tool for you to use as you see fit and you must be vigilant to see how it’s affecting you and how you are using it.

It’s great that my life is full of so many amazing people. It’s a shame that the vast majority of those relationships are fairly shallow with only the most tenuous of connections.

06
Nov
2012
9:46

The Day/Night Conundrum

I am a night owl by nature. When things are normal and going well, I prefer the night. I feel more alive, energized and uninhibited. However, I’ve noticed that in times of strife, the night becomes oppressive and filled with an acute loneliness but that the sun seems to chase away the shadows both figuratively as well as literally. It’s nourishing and recharging. I find it interesting how they have such different effects depending on my mental state.

01
Nov
2012
13:55

Head Down

Many, many years ago, I remember reading some kind of online personality survey. One of the questions was about whether you walk with your head down staring at the ground or head up looking at the world around you (and maybe another option or two). I don’t remember much else but I know I have this weird ingrained feeling of not wanting to be someone who walks around, head down, staring at the ground. I don’t know why, but I want to be someone who walks with my head held high looking at the world around me.

However, every time I take notice, sure enough my head is bowed and I’m staring at the ground. Even if I correct myself, 5 seconds later I’m back to my default state. I do wonder if this says something profound about me.

04
Sep
2012
10:13

Fallen (City of) Heroes

The online super hero MMO game “City of Heroes” is shutting down. Much like many of my friends, I find myself very saddened by this despite the fact that I haven’t played in many years. This game has a very special place in life.

CoH wasn’t the first MMO I played, but it was the most impactful due to many circumstances which all aligned to make this particular game a very magical moment in my life. I had played some Earth and Beyond, Everquest, and WoW but CoH fell right in the sweet spot before my personal MMO bubble kind of burst. It was the most fun I ever had in an MMO. We had an awesome guild full of amazing friends, old and new. I had characters of every class, complete with full origin stories. We had a guildmate who died who most of us never met in person and yet we all felt the loss. When Andy, one of my best friends since 4th grade, got married, we had a LAN party for his bachelor party with many of our guildmates. Several guildmates built a computer out of spare parts so my wife at the time could keep playing when hers quit working.

When we moved to Austin, and were looking for jobs I set my sights on the company that published CoH. When my friend Andy soon came to Austin as well, I told him I’d seen an artist position open there. He was the first of us to get a job there. Then through him I heard that one of his co-workers was casting a play so Jess and I both auditioned and got cast in the first show ever at Richard Garriotts’s Curtain Theatre. Through that we became friends with several people who worked there which eventually led to me getting hired there as a QA tester (though not on CoH). Later, I helped Jess get a job as receptionist.

Eventually everyone moved on to other games, most going to EQ2 or WoW. After CoH, it was never the same for me. Everyone was split across different games and even different servers within the same game. I didn’t play enough to justify a monthly cost and just never felt that same magic again.

I eventually got the axe in one of the big layoff waves and spent the next 5 years as a freelance actor and musician. The company moved most of its operations to Seattle but Andy still works there as senior artist and Jess is now a lead content writer.

When I read the news of CoH “sunsetting,” I felt almost that same feeling as when you hear about the death of someone you once knew. Even though you may not have spoken to them in 20 years, you still feel the loss, like there’s something gone from this world. Just the lack of that presence and energy. Most people probably won’t understand this feeling and think to themselves that this was only a video game. However, for those of us that were there, together in Paragon City, we will undertand each other’s heartfelt eulogies and know that just as a bunch of atoms make a person, a bunch of 0’s and 1’s on a distant server somewhere can create a world of magic that brings people together and forms real, lasting impressions and relationships.

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