Category: Flotsam and Jetsam

Jess and I were discussing how there was Burger King and Dairy Queen (there’s also a Smoothie King), so where were all the other restaurant royalty? We took the liberty of making them up (some may be other titles than actual royalty).
Philly Pharaoh, Pasta Prince, Weiner Kaiser, Spaghetti Sultan, Chicken Emperor, Curry Khan, Meatball Maha-rajah, Soup Sheik, Cookie Czar, Fish F�hrer, Pizza President, Grand Moff Muffins, etc. Feel free to contribute your own.
Also, why is it that anywhere where tacos are sold, they get top billing? Taco Bell, Taco cabana, there are many taco places. Most of these places also sell burritos which, in my opinion, are far superior. Perhaps I should open a Burrito Baron. All other mexican foods are oppressed by the taco. The taco always gets the name. Why? Who decided that tacos are the top of the mexican food chain? I don’t even really like tacos, unless they’re soft tacos in which case all they really are is tacos trying to be burritos. It’s time to stop the oppressions! Let some other foods take the limelight! Down with the taco regime!

Why? Well my cousin has this unbelievably long keychain that he’s built over the years composed of keychains people have given him. His dad travels a lot for work and so has been bringing back keychains from various places for most of my cousin’s life. After noting that my cousin has only actually paid for one out of the hundreds of keychains that are in this giant keychain orgy, I though it would be fun to try and get an influx of additions. They don’t have to be unique, funny, or even amusing. They could be totally bland (like the H.E.B. keychains he has on there). There are no requirements. If you would like to contribute, contact me from the feeback section or leave a comment with you email and I’ll send you our address if you don’t already have it!

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This is completely a joke and not meant as a mean stab at anyone.

It’s supposed to subtly accent and compliment, not take over the room like guerilla mercenaries assaulting and rifle-butting your olfactory sense into submission.

So my friend and I are quite fond of Philly Cheesesteak sandwiches. Of course, he doesn’t like peppers, and I get no peppers and no onions so I don’t know if it’s really still a Philly or not, but that’s beside the point. Today at lunch, we were trying a new restaurant which, and decided that, as Philly connoisseurs, we had to try them at this new place. We then decided (along with our lovely wives) that there should be various traits by which a Philly is rated. Things such as taste, greasiness/sogginess, and cohesiveness. You see, these sandwiches were indeed very tasty, but they were a bit on the greasy/soggy side, and that fact combined with the intense amount of meat stuffed into the bun, cause the sandwich to reach critical mass and lose it’s cohesiveness. Sexual innuendos aside, you want as much as possible stuffed in there without it losing it’s ability to remain a single sandwich entity, and instead becoming more of a Philly casserole of some sort on your plate. So yeah, there ya go.

And become a creature of the night with me!

If so, CLEAN UP AFTER IT! There is a reason we don’t have pets, and I’m really tired of finding pile after pile of doggie waste by-product on our lawn. We live in an apartment complex where people seem to think it’s perfectly OK to walk your dog, and just let it drop it’s steaming little presents wherever it wants. Today I printed out a sign that says “Please keep your dogs and their waste by-products OFF our lawn. Thank you” and posted it up outside our apartment. If I find out who is doing, I am going to go crap on their lawn.