Category: Opinions and Facts

Books are not superior to film, TV, or video games. And on the other end, video games are not mindless wastes of time for immature people with Peter Pan syndrome.

Aw crap, Heath has something stuck in his mental craw and has to spout off about it.

This should not be a controversial or inflammatory statement, but likely it will be for some. Anyone who knows me even a little knows that intellectual elitism and snobbery is a huge hot button for me. People who think their opinions are facts, or are somehow more valid. “You like that thing? You have no taste then. That thing sucks.” It’s something I encounter quite often in various ways with regards to books and their superiority, and conversely about video games being the other end of the spectrum. A meme I’ve seen posted many times including a list of what “Successful” people do versus “Unsuccessful People.” “Successful People read books. Unsuccessful people watch TV.”

I saw a question online that asked “Could you date someone who plays video games for 2 hours a day?” To which a LOT of people answered “No.” And one of the key things that bothers me about these kinds of snobbery is that they tend to be one direction. I’ve definitely heard many folk laud the superiority of books, while I’ve never heard anyone who prefers film/TV/video games say “You READ for 2 hours a day? Pathetic. What a waste of time. I could never date someone who reads so much.”

I personally believe that they are all different but equal and equally valid. Books leave more to the imagination and allow you to revel in prose and (hopefully) well-crafted sentences. TV and film can have great writing, breathtaking cinematography, and incredible acting. Video games can have immersive original stories, exercise your problem solving skills and hand-eye coordination. They can all be some wonderful escapism and entertainment. They can all have soul moving gravitas. They all educate. They all have masterpieces as well as pieces of crap. In this day and age especially, TV and video games have really outgrown their stigmatic roots and come into their own with regards to creativity and originality to match the greatest books and movies.

But in the end, it’s a preference. An opinion. None are “superior” or “inferior” to the others. I like to get my share of all of them, personally. A (not quite) balanced diet. So, maybe try not to be so judgmental. You might be cutting yourself off from some seriously amazing people, and cutting those people off from the amazing person that is you. Let go of the tribalism. There’s enough room for us all to like what we like and still find plenty of common ground.

For many years I used a Mach 3 Power razor (the one that has a AAA battery and vibrates while you shave). Then on a whim, I decided to try the Harry’s razors since Mach 3 cartridges can be a but pricey. I thought, “Well, I’m sure a razor is a razor and these little guys are doing the world a solid!” I had the top of the line chrome Harry’s Winston model and used it for years. But I noticed I wasn’t really happy with my shave. I tended to have to go over and over my face and the blades were so close together that they were hard to rinse and got clogged.

So, on a whim, I went to Wirecutter.com, my go to site any time I want to know “What’s the best (insert thing here),” and sure enough they’re top pick was the Mach 3 Power. Sadly, I had got rid of mine in the intervening years and the model they specifically recommended has become really hard to find (though any Mach 3 power, or Mach 3 will likely give you as good of a shave). I don’t shave every day and a cartridge can last me quite a long time. Combine that with the fact that you can get Mach 3 cartridges cheaper if you buy them in bulk on Amazon or wherever, and it seemed worth the extra dough for a better shave.

Years ago I tried the whole “Safety Razor, badger hair brush” thing that many sites rave about as “the best shave” but I never liked it. After a year or two I went back to my Mach 3. I just don’t want to put that much time, effort and thought into shaving.

So here I was being led back to the razor I had previously used. Because I’m a weirdo, I wanted the specific model they recommended (mostly because I liked the green) so I ended up getting one off ebay from a guy in Korea for like $20. I just had my first shave with it and I’m never going back. Such a huge difference. So learn from my experience and research, and just get yourself one of the Mach 3 line. I’ve been to Mordor and back, shaving all the orcs along the way, and I can say it is the one razor to rule them all.

“Well, I’m back,” he said.

I never thought Star Wars and spoilers in general would become more of a hot button jihad inducing topic than religion, politics, Mac Vs. PC, or iOS vs. Android, but it seems it has.

There seems to be a new trend that I’m calling the “Spoilers Rights Advocates” who think that after (T=arbitrary and differing individual lengths of time ranging from 3 days to 10 years) that they no longer have any obligation to be considerate of others and if you haven’t seen the movie then “that’s on you.” I’m sure it comes as no surprise that I disagree. Well, I mean it is true that they have no “obligation” or responsibility to do so, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still a great thing to do.

I know of plenty of people who don’t have the luxury that I have of prioritizing going to see a movie. I have a friend who is always extremely busy, pregnant (not always, but at the moment), and wants to watch the original 6 before she goes to see 7. I’ve read many posts from others with other such reasons for not having seen it yet. And they do care. I’ve had a handful of discussions on the matter over the last few days on social media. Some have been very civil and intellectual. Others have ended up with all kinds of aggression, name-calling and fiery indignation coming my way. “Go outside!”, “Get some friends!”, “Get off the internet!” are just a few choice bon mots. Accusations of grandstanding, martyrdom, gaslighting, and so much more! You’d think you had stumbled into a discussion on race, religion and terrorism. Yes, I am a grade A, top choice, huge ass-hat, like an ass-sombrero for thinking that the world would be a better place with a little more consideration (oh, there’s me playing the victim card again…another accusation). I thought I was coming from a good place. I had no resentment, aggression, negative feelings or anything like that, and yet even apologies were met with outright hostility and indignation somehow twisting my words and attempts to diffuse the situation into more accusations. Eventually I realized there was nothing else to do but leave (which I’d tried to do earlier in the meltdown but that was also viewed as me playing the victim and other “tactics” on my part).

I don’t get it. I don’t get the attitude, the ire, or any of it. It’s really this simple with me: consideration has no statute of limitations. People often come back with “Oh, so are you gonna tag spoilers on [SPOILER FROM ORIGINAL STAR WARS], or, [SPOILER FROM SIXTH SENSE], [SPOILER FROM CITIZEN KANE], [SPOILER FROM THE CRYING GAME], [SPOILER FROM ANY SHAKESPEARE PLAY]?”

Yes. Yes I am. Because it costs me nothing. It doesn’t inconvenience me at all. My quality of life and the enjoyment of it is not in any way adversely affected by not posting that spoilery cartoon. Or at the very least tagging it as such. On several such posts, I’ve commented “SPOILER” not to in any way chastise the poster or try to bend them to my will but simply as a warning to anyone who might stumble upon it and care. And there have been comments from people such as “I haven’t seen it yet…mostly bc I have this little baby and also bc Alamo was sold out when we tried to go over the break. I glanced at your pic and then saw the word SPOILER on your friends comment, so I haven’t looked at it again. Thanks Heath Allyn! (For the record, I’m not a huge Star Wars fan so I wouldn’t cry over a spoiler, BUT I would like to be surprised if there’s a big surprise.)” By the way, that bit about not being a huge Star Wars fan is their quote, not my editorial. Anyone who remotely knows me knows that I am the hugest of Star Wars fans.

So again, I didn’t post asking the person to remove their post, or change it or tag it. I just left a comment explaining why I was leaving that comment as a helpful warning. Which has only been a problem once and led to all the above accusations and name calling. The irony is that I don’t even care that much about spoilers. I do try to avoid them but if I get spoiled, it’s not the end of the world to me and it probably won’t affect my enjoyment, but to others, it is a big deal and I can respect that. I have no reason to say “Fuck you, then! That’s your issue! Stay off the internet because my right to post untagged spoilers after (T: see above) trumps your desire to not be spoiled, which you gave up any way by not seeing the movie fast enough to my liking!”

I actually know of someone who just watched the original trilogy last month. Another friend recently reminded me that she had never seen them until I sent her the VHS tapes somewhere around the early 2000’s. There’s tons of “classic” movies I still haven’t seen. Does that mean I think you’re a big jerkface if you you reveal [SPOILER FROM CAVE PAINTING FROM 550 B.C.]? Of course not, but I certainly appreciate it if you are considerate enough to still tag spoilers or ask if I’ve seen it.

With the reactions of some people you would think I had asked them to strangle a small puppy when all I’m really saying is, some people would really appreciate the tiniest morsel of consideration here, and it’s so effortless and easy. I’m sure I have my share of responsibility in these blowups. Poor phrasing, reacting too emotionally. I know one thing I thought was a good idea but ended up being a mistake was that as I was pruning my feed, there were some folks I wanted to know that though I wouldn’t be reading their posts any more, that I really enjoyed their posts overall and would miss them but that doesn’t work in this context. It just ends up sounding like a big “I’M UNFOLLOWING YOU!” announcement, so lesson learned there.

In the end, there’s some generally great people and some people I don’t know at all who now think I’m the biggest douche-canoe on the planet because I think it would be cool to go beyond our “obligations” and “responsibilities” to maybe, possibly help someone out that you don’t even know would appreciate it and maybe, just maybe make the community of humanity just a little better with a drop of extra consideration.

Of course, the only people who will actually read this are people who probably don’t need to read this, so at least let me say, I appreciate you. And if you can take these genuine, heartfelt words and somehow twist them into something negative, then you don’t know me at all. Which is probably true any way! If this particular form of consideration is just too much for you bear, then try to do something, somewhere, even just the smallest token to make someone else’s world a better place on a regular basis. That’s probably a way better plan any way. I guess all I can hope for is that this is some kind of self-regulating Darwinian mechanism that just keeps me surrounded by only the most amazing people. Seems to have worked so far.

Open letter to all who feel the need to spoil shows before the credits have even finished rolling:
Look, I’m not even that bothered by spoilers. What I am bothered by is the careless attitude.
It is inconsiderate and disrespectful and just not cool. Why do you feel the need? Do you feel the need to be “firsties” or “in with the cool kids who are in the know”? Why the verbal (or textual) diarrhea? Many people can’t watch right away and it’s ridiculous to expect those people to simply avoid the internet completely (which is what would be necessary). I watch shows and then keep my damn mouth shut except for private conversations with people who have seen it and want to discuss it.

And you may think you aren’t spoiling anything by being “vague.” You aren’t. even the vaguest of comments sets viewers to now spend the entire episode looking for that vague thing you mentioned, and in my case, almost always seeing it coming when I wouldn’t have seen it before. Even when purposefully trying to avoid any spoilery conversations, I have been spoiled by accident, by some glimpse that was enough before I could parse what it was and that I shouldn’t read it.

Again, I find the actual spoilers only mildly annoying but the total disregard for other people and their feelings or enjoyment and the entitlement piss me off. If you feel the need to unfriend me over this, I really don’t care. I certainly may at least hide you if you are going to be so inconsiderate of others.

My feed has been ridiculous. Sure there are accidents, and people with good hearts and intentions and people on the other end who are WAY TOO sensitive about spoilers, like “OMG, you said this was a really great episode! SPOILERS!” Or people who think there is no statute of limitations on spoilers. “DAMMIT! Now I know the ending to Soylent Green and The Sixth Sense!”

Just use your heads and try to be considerate. It’s really not that hard. And if you’re selfish enough to think it’s the reader’s problem and they should just live in a cave until they’ve seen something, then good riddance to you.

I despise April Fools’ Day. Seems like I’ve had a lot of discussion about it this year so I thought I’d collect my various thoughts here in one place.

It’s a day when most people seem to think simply lying is somehow witty or funny. A day when I can’t trust anything anyone says or anything I read. Weeeeee! What fun!

It takes no intelligence or wit to lie to someone. If I tell you I’m engaged, or moving to Alaska, or have cancer, or whatever, none of these things are witty or funny and I didn’t really “get one over on you,” I just lied to you and you believed it because, why the hell shouldn’t you? “Haha! You trust me to be truthful! Sucker!”

It’s just annoying. Some people like Thinkgeek, Google and ACL have done funny things in the past but they were funny because they weren’t actually trying to “fool” anyone. They were ridiculous humor. Thinkgeek introduced the (at first) fake Tauntaun sleeping bag and it was so popular they actually started producing and selling them. The other two also did things that you immediately knew were jokes but were witty, clever, and funny.

If Google was like “We are introducing free internet and global wifi coverage! APRIL FOOLS!” That would not be funny.

As my friend Lauren said “April fools day is to comedy what St. Patrick’s Day is to Irish culture.” I just see a lot of annoying lies being pawned off as “Haha! I got you! I’m so clever!”

No. No you’re really not. There is no intelligence or wit involved. The only April fools are those who think that simple lies and taking advantage of people’s trust equates to humor, wit or intelligence.

Quick summary for the impatient: cool, inventive, fun action sequences. Little else. It should have been called (Some Other Title): Very Loosely Based on J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Hobbit.”

I loved the Lord of the Rings films. As a huge fan of the books, I thought they were about as good of a translation to films as could be done, mostly. Some changes that made sense for the films, etc.

Now, I went into The Hobbit not having read the book, so I got to see it without that bias. However, I also then got to hear about it from someone who loved the books and it was interesting to experience both sides. My own unbiased experience was that apart from the fun, inventive action sequences, there wasn’t much to speak of. I found a lot of it completely lacking in subtlety of dimension. Some baffling story points and two dimensional characters along with a lot of obvious audience emotional manipulation like a war hammer to the head.

Now what I found interesting was that when discussing it with Elly who loved the books and knew exactly what was different, I found most of my biggest complaints turned out to be the things that Jackson and company completely fabricated for the film. Turns out that apparently Jackson and company aren’t as good at writing as Tolkien. To be fair, the best parts of the films (the action sequences) were also almost entirely fabricated and not at all based on the books, so I guess they get that credit.

Basically this wasn’t The Hobbit at all. Thus why it should have just been called something else “loosely based on The Hobbit.” Unlike LOTR, the changes they made seemed completely unmotivated, really bad ideas. It also really only needed to be one film. Two at the most (while LOTR probably could have actually used more time to get more of the books in).

A fun, if mostly empty ride.