Cerebral Flotsam And Jetsam - My Mental Maelstrom


Hollywood Babble-On Theme Songs

I’m a long-time Kevin Smith fan and as such I’ve been listening to the Hollywood Babble-On podcast with him and Ralph Garman since the beginning. It’s certainly not for everyone or the easily offended but I love it. From time to time they feature various things created by listeners and many of their segments now feature theme songs written by listeners such as myself, so I thought I’d chronicle my works that have been featured and few exclusive easter eggs that have not! Firstly, most of these segments are incredibly hard to explain and you would just have to hear them in context to really get it.

A few that are still being used almost every week are Inappropriate Toys where they feature ads for kids toys and such that are, as the title implies, inappropriate. They also have a segment where they play these two German characters they made up one episode, so I made a theme for The Germans. Another segment talks about bizarre things from Japan called WTF Japan? As you’ll hear here, my original version had a clip from Kevin’s “Clerks: The Animated Series” which was cut for use on the actual podcast.

Some from the past segments which eventually they stopped doing were a segment about upcoming reboots they found unnecessary called No Thanks, We’ve Already Got One and one called Hitler In The Movies where people would mock up fake parody posters inserting Hitler into them with altered titles.

Then there were some I sent in which were never used. For example, Kevin likes to tease Ralph about having “8 impressions” (Ralph is actually really great impressionist) so I made this theme. Ralph also used to do Arnold Schwarzenegger singing various songs that listeners had requested, for which I sent in this unused theme. And then, during the pandemic when they weren’t doing shows, they started doing “Caped Commentaries,” watching the original Batman series with Adam West and commenting on it.

It’s fun to be part of the show and I’m glad a few of mine are still running!


Do Ya Wanna Taste Al?

I still plan to get to more requests, but this one is going to be hard to beat, though I do regret filming it in portrait orientation. My friend Jennifer suggested I do the #Peacemaker theme song in the style of one of my all time heroes, “Weird Al” Yankovic. It immediately formed in my mind.


Do Ya Wanna Taste It?

It all started (as so many things do) last Thursday with me being silly by myself. I was singing “Do Ya Wanna Taste It?“, a song by Wigwam which has become extremely popular as the theme to the great show, Peacemaker. I was singing it very properly with acute enunciation because it amused me. I then decided to make a TikTok of it.

Then as soon as I had posted this, I thought to myself, “Actually, this would make a really good dark, moody, stripped down ballad with an underlying sinister feeling to it,” and I immediately started working on that. Somewhere around 6 or 7 hours later, it was done. Or so I thought.

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Consent Is Sexy

I saw a friend’s post about how consent is everything and this sent me off down a rambling mental rabbit hole that I will now inflict upon you all (with your consent).

I have always been super paranoid about NOT wanting to be “THAT guy.” I grew up raised by great, strong mother and always generally got along with women better than men, and consequently, heard plenty of women throughout my life bemoaning the fact that if they were even just friendly with a guy, that too many times guys took that the wrong way and thought it meant interest. So I never wanted to be that guy. And pretty much everyone I’ve ever dated will vouch for that by way of the fact that you have to really beat me over the head with your interest before I’ll even consider that it might be true.

I used to joke that someone could be standing naked in front of me with a flashing sign (pun intended) saying “I WANT YOU” and I would think “She’s just being friendly, let’s not make assumptions.” As a heterosexual male, I always wanted my female identifying friends to be comfortable around me and never have to worry that I was going to take anything the wrong way. Most of my past relationships probably started with the phrase “What took you so long?”

There’s one courtship in particular that will forever amuse me. I had a co-worker who I had become friends with and definitely felt some interest toward, and I thought it was possibly mutual. We started hanging out, going to movies, and just spending time together and enjoying each other’s company. At some point she started staying over. In my bed. Totally just as friends. Sometimes she would lay her head on my lap in my Nissan pickup. We took at least one road trip I remember to stay with a friend in Dallas and go to Six Flags and we stayed in the same bed. Totally platonically.

After a while of this, I started to think I had a chance. One night we were in my room, on my bed, listening to The Beatles and talking. By this point, the whole situation was pretty ridiculous, and yet still, somehow there was doubt in my mind. So finally, when the tension had become unbearable, I just blurted out “Do you want me to kiss you?” As I remember it, she just stared at me, a little in shock. I felt like she did, but for some reason was maybe afraid for us to go there or something. So then I said, “Okay, well I’m going to kiss you unless you tell me to stop,” and moved in, very, very slowly giving her every chance to eject or give me any indication that this was not a good idea. She didn’t stop me and it was indeed very mutual and we had a relationship. It really was very sweet, and not at all weird or icky as it could sound when written out like that.

I really wish we could all just be more transparent in that regard because even though we may feel like we give off totally different signals when we are interested, from the receiving perspective it often doesn’t look all that different. And I am most definitely someone who does NOT want to go anywhere I’m not wanted or make anyone uncomfortable. I always say that I’ve never really “dated” and it’s true. It’s always just been organically meeting someone, us becoming friends and falling for each other. I’ve never chased it or felt like I “needed a girlfriend” to feel complete, happy, or whole. I love being in love. I love being in a relationship and being a good partner. I love having a mutual partner in crime. But I’m also very much fine on my own. I’m certainly not going to “settle” just to have “someone.” I’ve never been a “hunter” in that regard. It has never been unusual for me to go years between relationships, although my current stint of 5 and half years may be the longest, but it also makes sense for reasons we don’t need to get into here.

I try very hard in all areas of my life to see the good and not live in gratitude and not from a mindset of lack, focusing on what I don’t have. There are definitely benefits to being single. I’m not saying it’s better, just different and that there are good points to focus on. I have no idea how to end this rambling brain detritus. So just imagine I ended it with some pithy, witty, yet deep and emotionally resonant point that wraps everything up really nicely. #JediMindTrick


A Few Musical Equipment Recommendations

If you know me you know I love sharing things I love. So I will link to two recent acquisitions in the comments. I recently got a new MIDI keyboard, the Nektar LX88+ that will be more suited for live use but also has TONS of great features for using with your DAW as well. When I started looking at new MIDI only keyboards (no onboard sounds built in) that had more controls for controlling various things, I was SHOCKED at most prices. Many were as much as a decent self-contained keyboard with sounds! This one however is a steal for what you get. Total DAW integration with most major DAWs and TONS of functionality, controllability, and customization. Super impressed. 88 semi-weighted keys that feel pretty good to me. Read the manual to really get the most out of this as there’s a LOT of power packed under the hood.

Second, in my quest for a more easily mobile guitar rack for my small space, I found a GREAT one that I’ll link to that’s on rollers. As a bonus there’s a LOT of space between guitars that helps protest them more, leaves space for acoustics or electrics, as well as protruding vibrato bars and room to tuck straps away or what not.


Immersed In The Beatles

The Beatles have always been my #1 band for as long as I can remember since childhood. They are in my DNA and my biggest influence. So it makes me silly excited and happy to be sitting in on keyboards with the legendary Austin Beatles tribute band, The EggMen at the end of February on 2 afternoon gigs where we will also be accompanied by 2 different orchestras.

I’ve been doing nothing but practicing and getting my sounds and other technical stuff sorted and it’s been bliss. In all my years of playing music I had never sat down and learned “The Long And Winding Road.” I love all the beautiful chord voicings Paul chose. I decided to notate them in case I needed to easily remind myself later, so if you want some very basis sheet music that basically goes through a verse and the bridge but covers all the chords you will encounter, then here you go! Enjoy and play it yourself! That’s actually been refined a little bit to be more accurate since I made this video of me practicing it.

I also was surprised that of all the songs I’ve been learning, “Piggies” has challenged me the most. It’s got some really intricate parts, played by producer, Chris Thomas. As challenging as it is, it’s also a lot of fun.


Tremmory Review

If you play a guitar with a floating vibrato unit (commonly known as incorrectly Tremolo units as Tremolo is the modulation of volume while vibrato is the modulation of pitch), then you probably know that involves a lot of compromises. Because these units strike a balance between string tension and springs in the back, you can’t change tunings, if you break a string everything else goes out of tune, and if you do a double stop (bend one string while fretting another) the fretted string will be pulled flat by the bending of the other string.

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