Archive for year 2013

Dream 19

Adventures with friends
Transported to Middle Earth
Aragorn is weird

Dream Theatre 19

In last night’s dream, Johnny Walter, Katie Folger, Jay Barry and I had been transported to Middle Earth and for some reason we had to infiltrate Aragorn’s house in the woods. We had been transported onto the this sort of walkway around the roof. It was a huge sprawling house and so the roof was a series of peaks reminiscent of the Winchester House. We followed the walkway around to a place where thought we could maybe get in. We had some bags and backpacks which somehow accidentally got tossed off the walkway and over one of the roof peaks and were now resting at the opposite bottom edge. Jay was going to venture to try and get them but I told him to wait and I found a nearby garden hose and tied it around him for safety. Turned out to be a good things since while going for our bags, he fell through the roof in one place. I pulled him back up (I’m not sure where Johnny and Katie were at this point, perhaps scouting other places). We regrouped and decided to enter carefully through this hole.

We were now in the top attic level of the house. We followed ti for a ways until it opened up onto an open air walkway, but we couldn’t tell if it had access to where we needed to go. We went back an eventually found a sort of magical gate teleporter that we could tell went down to the next level. We teleported a level down and followed that level until it opened up to an open air deck. A bunch of guards flooded in from the periphery and we defeated them all because we were badasses. I think we were looking for something specific though I can’t remember what. Back inside this level, I remember us doing some backtracking and having to pull ourselves back up through holes in the roof two different times. The first was more difficult and required us booting each other up or reaching from above to help the person below. The second wasn’t as difficult, as I remember just jumping up and the pulling myself through the hole.

Later back inside one of the top levels of the house, Katie expressed some displeasure at something I had said and she told me that I shouldn’t have said that too her as she was suffering from some mental/psychological condition. I apologized but she decided to leave and set out on her own. At this point we heard Aragorn talking to someone and he casually said that he knew we were here and that we should just come down and join him. We did so.

Inside, the house was not all that fancy. It seemed like something built in the 1970’s or 80’s and was quite plain. I distinctly remember it felling like a large but cheap house you would find in the woods about an hour from the nearest city. Aragorn lived here with two other older male relatives. I think one was his father and one was a great uncle or the like. They had 4 big beds all in the same room, which normally would have been a den or living room kind of attached to the kitchen/dining room. I remember either thinking or asking what he did if he wanted to have sex and finding out that apparently it was quite normal with his people to just have sex in his bed even with the other two in the same room in their beds. I thought that was odd but they were a different people with different ways and customs.

Then I woke up.

Benevolence

Do good without want
No selfish expectations
Strengthen that muscle

Do Good For Good’s Sake

I feel like I’ve written about this before, but in my cursory search I didn’t find any posts here about this, so forgive me if I’m redundant.

I try to be a good person. Every day I try to be a better person than I was the day before. I remember this strange day in 7th or 8th grade when I just a complete epiphany. It was like I woke up and saw the world completely differently and want to work on my flaws and become a better person than I had been up until that point in my life. I’ve spent every since then working on just that, and I’m sure I will spend every day of the rest of my life doing just that.

I always try to take the “high road.” I’m not always successful. I try to meet anger and confrontation with peace and understanding. I try to be helpful and generous. My friends are very important to me and I am always trying to sing their praises, get them opportunities whenever I can and say the things that they are too modest to say about themselves. I want the world to know how awesome these people are. This all being said, it’s very important to note once again that I often fail in my endeavors. I am definitely an imperfect being with many flaws. I can be selfish, I have certain behaviors that I don’t know how I feel about and sometimes feel maybe I need a little too much validation and love from others as my fuel. I am hopefully modest enough but not as modest as I’d like to be. So I’m not writing all this to say “Aren’t I a great guy?”

My real point here is that often times the “high road” and trying to be a good person is a very lonely journey. It can often like it a very lop-sided, sometimes one-way street. Sometimes it can feel like you try to put so much into the world, for so many other people but rarely get anything back the other way. And this is the key thing that you need to change if you feel this way. You shouldn’t do good things in hopes of some return or karmic payback. We are all human, and of course it can be frustrating if it feel unreciprocated, which it most certainly will on occasion. You should do go for its own sake. And yet, even then, it’s never truly for its own sake because doing good should make you feel good. Knowing that you’re making the world a better place and helping people you love.

And just as importantly, appreciate and never lose sight of when the good does come back your way. It’s human nature to focus on the negative. You can get ten compliments but it will be that one negative comment that sticks in your head and draws all your focus. Be thankful when someone does sing your praises, or send you a sincere thanks for what you did, or just offers you an opportunity without you even asking. Recognize these things and remember them. And take all the greedy personal joy you like out of the good things you do for others and the world at large, but keep the ego in check and don’t do it for accolades, praise or the hopes of some reward or payback. Those are always dangerous motives.

Well, this suddenly feels over serious. Let’s remedy that.

Dream 17 and 18

A former girlfriend
Gorilla suits and cruise ships
And a burlesque star

Dream Theatre 17 and 18

In dream 17 I was hanging out with one of the first girls I ever dated (who, while still in touch on Facebook, I haven’t really talked to in over 20 years, so quite a surprise appearance). In the dream she wasn’t married with children however and there was definitely some flirting/rekindling happening. I remember vague things about being in a mall parking lot, and later I had gone back to someone’s house (maybe hers, maybe a friend’s that I had the key to and was house sitting or something). I remember keeping all the lights off in the house because there was someone I was trying to avoid and I thought they might come by the house and so I didn’t want to know anyone was there. Then I remembered that they also had a key and would probably just let themselves in. I also remember dressing up in a gorilla costume for something, and then playfully playing with/scaring the neighbor’s kids in a fun goodhearted way. The dream ended with another appearance from the ex, as she laid on my lap and we laughed and flirted, both wary of actually getting involved again, yet tempted.

Dream 18 guest starred burlesque star, Eva Strangelove who I met while working on a music video (also quite a surprise appearance). We were both on a cruise ship, I think in some professional capacity. I’m not sure of the details of what either one of our roles were in this particular situation, but something had gone wrong on the boat and everyone was kind of stranded on the ship. I remember a big open area where there were lots of people at table’s playing various board games and such like you would see at a gaming convention. Fast forward and somehow we were now back at Eva’s place (which strangely, had walls that were all covered in that fake wood paneling), though I still remember a feeling of sort of being in the middle of some kind of emergency, like we were still “stranded” in some way. Her husband, Dave was out on the road himself, so we weren’t able to get in touch with him for the moment so I told her to go get some sleep and I stayed up to try and figure things out and work a solution to whatever the problem was. I remember a TV set set up in a nook that was about head height when standing in kind of an odd place, like the nook was right up against the wall, so not prime viewing location, but it felt more for decoration than actual TV viewing. The TV was behind a thin curtain or veil, so I could see the image but not quite make out what it was. As I stared at it trying to decipher what was on happening on the screen, I could also see in the next room that Eva was sleeping, so that was good. She stirred and came out to the couch. I think at that point, either she had finally got in touch with Dave or we were about to do so. Then I woke up.

Potential

Sacrificing now
In hopes of future results
It’s a tough journey

Potential Results

I think I just put my finger on the hardest part about diet and exercise and trying get in shape and be generally healthy: it’s that you have to work hard now for some potential results that are supposedly down the road. It’s kind of like if someone said “If you let me punch you in the face now, I’ll give you $5000 in 6 months.”

If I knew that could skip that burger and fries right now and see an inch come off my ass-ular region, that would be something! We all want immediate results. It’s hard to set down a difficult path in the hopes that it will all pay off at some indeterminate point in the future. Meanwhile, you’re “sacrificing” now and still unhappy with your body/health/etc.

Eye of the tiger, my friends. Eye of the tiger!

Qubit Lab

Silly and science
Pack your brain with some knowledge
And maybe some laughs

The Qubit Lab

Here’s a series of science videos I did for the Qubit Lab in conjunctions with scientists from Oxfprd and across Europe! I really enjoyed these!