The royalty of fast food.
Jun 10th
Jess and I were discussing how there was Burger King and Dairy Queen (there’s also a Smoothie King), so where were all the other restaurant royalty? We took the liberty of making them up (some may be other titles than actual royalty).
Philly Pharaoh, Pasta Prince, Weiner Kaiser, Spaghetti Sultan, Chicken Emperor, Curry Khan, Meatball Maha-rajah, Soup Sheik, Cookie Czar, Fish F�hrer, Pizza President, Grand Moff Muffins, etc. Feel free to contribute your own.
Also, why is it that anywhere where tacos are sold, they get top billing? Taco Bell, Taco cabana, there are many taco places. Most of these places also sell burritos which, in my opinion, are far superior. Perhaps I should open a Burrito Baron. All other mexican foods are oppressed by the taco. The taco always gets the name. Why? Who decided that tacos are the top of the mexican food chain? I don’t even really like tacos, unless they’re soft tacos in which case all they really are is tacos trying to be burritos. It’s time to stop the oppressions! Let some other foods take the limelight! Down with the taco regime!
Off to Austin…again!
May 30th
We’re heading to Austin again this weekend to go tooooooobin down the Guadalupe river. Last year I went and the river flow was so low, that it totally sucked. Half the time our asses were dragging across rocks and occasionally we had to get up and walk across some precarious rocky bits because we certainly couldn’t float over them. Ironically, while we were toooobin last year, it started to rain. That rain continued for weeks and completely flooded the river pretty much wiping out everything that was along it’s banks including all the toooooooberies.
My friend, Esteban, had kept his car key on him instead of leaving it with the toooooooobin office who had a special place just to keep people’s keys. Consequently, we got back to his car only to realize we couldn’t get in. He called some number for the Volkswagen place since he had a road-side service deal or something, and then we waited for like an hour and a half in the pouring torrential rain for the guy to come open the car up. Once the guy actually got there, he had a really hard time getting it open too. Ah, good times!
So hopefully this year will be more fun. The flow looks much better than last year, and I have my wife with me this year too! Esteban’s birthday is at the end of June so we’re all going to back again in a month to go tooooooooooooobin down the Comal (which we also did last year and found it much better than the Guadalupe) and go to Schlitterbahn, the #1 water park in the country according to the travel channel! See you all Monday!
Send me keychains! I need keychains!
May 26th
Why? Well my cousin has this unbelievably long keychain that he’s built over the years composed of keychains people have given him. His dad travels a lot for work and so has been bringing back keychains from various places for most of my cousin’s life. After noting that my cousin has only actually paid for one out of the hundreds of keychains that are in this giant keychain orgy, I though it would be fun to try and get an influx of additions. They don’t have to be unique, funny, or even amusing. They could be totally bland (like the H.E.B. keychains he has on there). There are no requirements. If you would like to contribute, contact me from the feeback section or leave a comment with you email and I’ll send you our address if you don’t already have it!
House sitting was not to be
May 23rd
Unfortunately, they had already found someone. We’re pretty bummed, but I’m sure things will work out just fine. They always do.
We’re off for a 3 day weekend!
May 23rd
Random lyrics from Weird Al’s new album, “Poodle Hat” that I’ve been singing all damn day:
There just aren’t enough O’s in “smooth”
To describe how smooth I am
Maybe you’ve seen my picture
It’s in the dictionary under “Kablaam!” Go buy it now.
So we’re off to Austin for the weekend to hang with my cousin, and go to the Natural Bridge Caverns, and a drive through wildlife park. Pictures will be forthcoming. We’ll probably check out Matrix:Reloaded again, and attempt to gain a better understanding of the twisted Mobius Strip that is the plot. Have a good Memorial Day Weekend, and remember, never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Wow. Where to start…
May 22nd
So as some of you may have read on my wife’s page, ahead lies potential life upheaval, but in a good, adventurous, yet crap your pants kind of way.
We were planning to move to Austin in August. Then I get this email about these people who are in Hong Kong for the next 6 months, and need a house sitter because their current sitter can’t do it anymore. This house is in Roundrock (which is practically part of Austin. North Austin just merges into Roundrock). So they need someone, pronto.
Now this is just the largest in a series of events that seem to just be custom tailored and handed to us. We’ve known for some time that we wanted to probably move to Austin, and then I emt Craig Davis who has become one of my best friends, and musical collaborators, and who lives in Austin. So already musical things were lining themselves up in the big A. Now this house sitting possibility, which is just perfect. Six months of rent free living in a 2400 square foot house. We would pay the utilities. Since we have our apartment here through August, this would allow us to just slowly and casually move all our stuff in stead of having to do it all in one big go. I still have lots of band gigs here, so I figure every weekend we come down to play, we’ll also do some more packing and moving.
In addition, I could actually pursue acting, film crew, and music opportunities in Austin, because there actually ARE opportunities. Craig, who has never worked any “normal” jobs, but only done jingles and musically related things like that, thinks I could definitely find tons of work as a musician. There’s one particular guy who Craig has worked with over the years who owns the company which Craig has written many jingles for. We’re talking pretty big stuff like major beer companies and such. The company has several in house studio facilities, and Craig thinks that I could probably start picking up work there as a musician, jingle writer, voice actor, etc. All my various talents could probably be put to use there. We’ll see how that pans out. Additionally this same guy is also really good friends with my uncle.
Not to mention Craig and I are recording a new CD, which will probably come out under the band name “The Toreadors”, and we’re working on a project of his called “Mr. Hobs the 3 legged cat” which will be a children’s story, with an bunch of original songs, and possible voice acting tasks for me. He already has some parties interested in it. Not sure what form it will take yet possibly a book/cd combo with the book voiced on the CD along with the songs for the book.
He also, nonchalantly, told me how he met with a guy from Maverick records (Madonna’s label) and this guy is trying to get 3 of his songs recorded by another artist.
So now I’m waiting on the email back from the house sitting people. If they haven’t already found someone, then I will be putting in my job notice immediately and in a week or two we will be living in Roundrock, unemployed with the world on a platter before us. Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.
“Weird Al” Yankovic has a new album out
May 22nd
…and it frickin’ brilliant as he always is. Brilliant on many levels. First off, his parodies, which is what he’s best known for, are great as usual. The fact that he and his band can so perfectly copy the sound and production of the song is a testament to their talent. Al’s originals are, in my opinion, where he’s vastly underrated. I usually find his original songs even far better than his parodies. not only are they hilarious, but many of them are just plain great songs musically. Some of the arrangements and parts are just genius and on par with the best of any non-comedy rock or pop song. There is, of course, a polka parody medley, and also several extras you can play on your computer too. I highly recommend this album. It’s called “Poodle Hat”.
There is, of course, a polka parody medley, and also several extras you can play on your computer too.
Summer is a’coming!
May 15th
By request of Chainsaw…a new entry, albeit not satisfaction guaranteed.
So the Texas heat is starting to creep in as are many a summer plan! First off we’re going to see the new Matrix movie Friday night at 10:35. Next weekend is Memorial Day weekend meaning I have a three day weekend, meaning we’re going to Austin! We plan on going to the Natural Bridge Caverns, and a drive through wildlife park, and possibly the zoo. Yes there will be rafs.
The weekend after that we’re going back to Austin for the first of our toobin trips. We’ll either go toobin down the Guadalupe or the Comal, we haven’t decided yet. Whichever one we don’t hit this time we will hit later on in the summer. Floating down the river on an inner-tube with a bunch of friends, and another tube just to hold the cooler of drinks/snacks. Woohoo!
We also plan on going to Schlitterbahn at some point. My friend Dave and I have already each won a pair of tickets off the radio as is our style.
If I’m not around much it’s because I’m in the beta test for Star Wars Galaxies. Due to the confidentiality agreement, I can say no more.
Steve Martin is brilliant.
May 9th
For so many reasons, but in particular right now for his page in People’s 50 Most Beautiful People issue –
“It’s very hard being one of the most beautiful people. Having this kind of beauty is actually a burden. Sometimes I go to a party and not one of the other 49 most beautiful people is there. this makes me feel very solitary and alone, because it means I am the most beautiful person in the room.
If I’m going to a party where I know there will be ‘less beautiful people’, I try to ‘dress down’ in order to hide my beauty. But this seems to actually have the counter-effect of actually making me more beautiful. I guess me and dungarees are a pretty potent combination.
I try not to lord my beauty over others. This is very hard. I try not to mention that I am one of the most beautiful people, but somehow it always comes out. I will usually only bring it up when I’m asked to do a task, like open a garage door. People seem to enjoy my beauty and are genuinely happy for me, because after I mention it, they always say ‘How nice for you.'”
[Private Entry]
May 7th
[This entry marked private]*
* You can not view this entry because it is marked “private”. Unfortunately there is no way for you to sign up to view it or anything, so don’t try. There is no “friends list” like some other blogs which use such tactics as a cheap way to try and monopolize the blogging community. Heath is, however, working on a mystical voodoo plugin which will KNOW whether or not he wants you to view the private entry and will then grant access, or not, as the case may be. Thank you for your patience in the development of this technology. It’s probably for the best since he’s most likely just bitching about you in this private entry anyway.
This is completely a joke and not meant as a mean stab at anyone.