Cerebral Flotsam And Jetsam - My Mental Maelstrom

03
May
2005
15:08

Amy Poehler wants me

I had a very strange dream the other night. I was at a party hanging out with Amy Poehler (she’s currently on Saturday Night Live and co-anchors Weekend Update with Tina Fey). In my dream, we were outside chatting, laughing, and generally flirting and having a good time. At one point she grabbed my arms and started swinging me around in a circle, slowly pulling me closer and closer until we stopped and she started to kiss me. I stopped her and said we couldn’t do that as we were both married. This actually just caused her crush on me to deepen, a my virtuousness was admirable to her.
I awoke and had to laugh to myself at how completely random this dream seemed to me since, while I’ve always thought Amy Poehler seemed like a really cool, talented and pretty performer who I’d probably be great friends with, I’d never had any kind of infatuation with her or anything. Now, however, my theoretical friendship with Amy Poehler is a bit awkward. We’re both cool though.

28
Apr
2005
21:43

Two Timer!

I’m happy to say that my second short film, “E-ruption” won the “People’s Choice” award for at the second annual “Kinetoscopic Wonderment Film Festival.” Last year I took home “Best Film” and “People’s Choice”. The pressure is on for next year.
Following the patter of punny awards, this year’s were “The Oscars”. Mine was a golden hot dog with little arms holding a sword (as in an Oscar Meyer Weiner), while the two other awards were a golden trash can with eyes poking out (Oscar the Grouch) and a golden Oscar Fish (Last year’s were the “Palm D’or” like Cannes, except they were actually door knobs on palms.)
I may add a picture at a later time when I’m not so damn tired!

04
Apr
2005
15:59

E-ruption

I have finished my second short film. As with the last one I am both proud of it and embarrassed by it simultaneously. The complete lack of budget, equipment, and the tight time deadline again make the production values pretty much non-existent, but hopefully the content and the experience will hold enough value to get the viewer past that.
This year was a bumpy ride. I wasn’t as organized I should have been, and there were 2 scenes that had to be re-shot. One was because the cameraman apparently forgot to turn the mic on, so there was no sound, and the other was because the cameraman thought that he could not find one of the scenes anywhere on any of the tapes. For the latter case, I re-shot the scene myself (my cameraman had a previous engagement) just days before the deadline, and edited it all together. As I knew would happen, he then later found the footage in an odd place on a tape.
The one thing I’ve learned is that I’m just going to have to edit my own films. This isn’t because of any deficiency with my cameraman/editor, but more because I’m a picky bastard, and since no one is getting paid, I can’t really expect too much time and effort from people. With both of my films, I ended up taking the “final edit” and doing quite a significant amount of additional editing only to realize it would have been much easier to have just done it myself from the beginning than it is to try and tweak or band-aid an existing full edit.
We got home from my band gig at around 7:00 p.m. on Saturday and I edited until 3:00 a.m. I then awoke at 11:45 .m. and edited until about 7:00 p.m. I was mostly finished at that point with just a few more tiny tweaks.
You can view it here.

31
Mar
2005
14:34

Mitch Hedberg 1968-2005

One of the most brilliant comics ever to make me laugh my ass off has died. Details are just hitting the news agencies. I heard about this early this morning but couldn’t confirm it until now. Comedy has lost a legend, even if many people have never heard of him. I even wrote a part for him in my screenplay with a bit of dialogue based on one of his stand up bits. I am actually quite surprised at how much his death has affected me. I had the pleasure of seeing him live three different times, and even getting a picture with him on one occasion.

I highly recommend grabbing this great package of his two CD’s and a DVD. I’m trying to come up with some witty Mitch-like quip here, but it’s not happening. File this under “D” for “Damn”. It’s right next to “Donut”.

In addition to his CD’s there’s a great thread here with a lot of his jokes that people saw him do live but aren’t on wither of his CD’s.

And now my lame attempt at diffusing tragedy with a poor emulation of how I imagine Mitch in the great beyond:

[mitch emulation]
Man, when I first got here, there was this blinding white light and these voices saying “Mitchell, go towards the light..” I said “not until you install a dimmer or perhaps issue some incorporeal sunglasses. That is too damn bright. Perhaps you should consider a lower wattage.”
[/mitch emulation]

“I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later.”
-Mitch Hedberg

13
Mar
2005
17:52

Here’s the plan:

Will’s company will decide to leave Hollywood for the more laid back, burgeoning film industry in Austin, TX, and we will convince Terry Gilliam and Eddie Izzard to also come here for a production. Probably Gilliam’s “Dark Omens” which would also mean Neil Gaiman would come here as a consultant.
That’s the short version. Suffice to say, that was the end result of a random conversation Jess and I had the other day. My favorite point was when my brain about snapped at the bizarre thought of Terry Gilliam directing a film starring Ben stiller and Eddie Izzard.
The other option was that Will, Annika, Jess and I start that fantasy production company we’ve talked about to produce this project. I mean, come on, who wouldn’t give us financing for something that bizarre? 😉

11
Mar
2005
22:12

Screenplays are never finished…

…only abandoned.Now that being said, I still plan on editing and revising my feature length screenplay and trying to heed as much of Se�or Klein’s most excellent feedback as I can, but I went ahead and submitted my screenplay to a contest. It’s strange, I wouldn’t really want to submit it to an agent until I was as finished with it as I was going to be, but for some reason I didn’t feel like sending it to a contest was as big of a deal.
With an agent, I may only have one shot to impress them, but with this contest I’m just paying my $40 and shooting the dice. I don’t feel like I’ll burn any bridges with the contest. I’ll just fade into nameless obscurity with all the other entrants. I figured that even though it probably still needs a lot of work, what the hell, the deadline was fast approaching so I’ll submit it as is and see what happens. Worst case scenario, I’m out $40. Best case scenario, I get a free trip to L.A. to see the muchacho and muchacha del fuego known as the Kleins.
Regardless, it felt cool to finally do something with it, and I think it might inspire me to finally get back to giving it a good look and try to polish this turd up.

03
Mar
2005
14:49

“Infamous”

Today I was an extra on the movie “Infamous“. It’s a big movie about Truman Capote starring lots of really famous people, but screw them, this is about me.
Many people who work as “extras” on a set aren’t really actors. Many of them are people from all walks of life who somehow heard about “extra” work and thought, “Hey, being in a movie would be cool!” However, there are always at least some “serious” actors among them. Being an actor and working as an extra is somewhat like being Charlie and getting the Silver Ticket to the Wonka Factory. Not the Golden Ticket, but the Silver one. This ticket won’t get you a grand tour and face time with Wonka himself, but you do get to work for a day with Oompa Loompas. Not the featured Oompa Loompas who get to do the fun song and dance, but the nameless, faceless Oompa Loompas who work behind the scenes in the factory doing things like cleaning children out of chocolate ducts. You can see the Golden Ticket winners doing what you’d love to be doing more than anything, but you are stuck in the back room making sure the Ever-lasting Gobstoppers actually last forever and don’t dwindle just this side of eternity. You’re exhilarated by just being in the Wonka factory, but sad and frustrated that you’re only on the fringe of your dream.
Today’s scene took place on a closed off downtown Austin street which was standing in for 1960 New York. I had been to a costume fitting last week to be fitted with 1960’s New York guy clothes (although from the way my sweater buttoned, it was obviously made for a woman). My costume would be my own black dress shoes, rust colored slacks, a maroon sweater tucked in, a long tweed coat and a scarf. The pants pulled up rather high as was the style back then. Maybe the whole trend now of wearing your pants practically falling off is some kind of karmic pendulum swing the other way.
I awoke at the ungodly hour of 5:15 a.m. to be on set at 6:15. When I arrived, a big bus took us all to another location which apparently used to be a restaurant or something. They gave us our costumes and then sent us outside to change in some tents set up in the parking lot. Hair and make up then saw us and did their thing (which in my case was putting lots of product in my hair and slicking it into a side part). I sat there at a table feeling like melancholy Charlie with the silver ticket and contemplated whether or not I should continue doing extra work since it was just sort of a tease and pretty much leads nowhere except to more extra work.
Quite a while later the bus took us to the set and we were all sent to get props. I got some lovely 60’s eyeglasses and a brownish orange briefcase. We were then placed in various areas and told what to do when the cameras rolled. I was paired up with another guy named Rance who ended up being very cool and interesting to talk to. We were both actors, writers, directors and had some really interesting conversations throughout the day while plotting how to best get us some screen time. There were lots of extras who owned old cars which they had on the street for the scene.
When the cameras rolled, Rance and I would walk down the sidewalk acting like we were talking, pause to say goodbye, and he would go into a building while I tried to hail a cab. This ended up being quite fortuitous since the two stars of the scene (Hope Davis and Toby Jones who looked like an absolute perfect clone of Truman Capote) ended up walking right in front of us as the passed. Score! There is no way that I will not be seen in this movie unless they completely cut the scene out. There were many takes and as with all movies, much waiting in between. Another good sign that I must have been in the picture a lot is that I got several notes from the crew member handling our section such as “tone it down a little when you’re hailing the cab so as not to distract attention from the leads”, and a few other notes which indicated that I was definitely being seen and thus scrutinized heavily.
Though I was only in the background, I was genuinely acting. Rance and I would walk along engrossed in our mimed conversation, gesticulating with purpose. We would reach our mark, say our goodbyes (linger as the two leads passes mere feet next to us), and he would go off to his imaginary job, while I tried to get the attention of the cab driver who just wouldn’t stop and pick me up. Instead he drove on and some other girl got in and stole my cab! I could hardly blame him as she was very pretty, but I still acted indignant and annoyed, and proceeded to look for another cab down the road.
In the end it was a good time even if it was a tease. I enjoyed meeting and talking with Rance, and I might finally make it in a movie without being cut out (knock on your crossed wooden fingers). Though it can be painful and taunting, I know I will do it again. I am an actor. Actors must perform, and given the chance to be a part of a movie, even as what equates to just being part of the scenery, we are drawn like sailors to the siren on the rocks. Like moths to the flame. Like bad writers to extraneous similes.
Charlie would have kept buying those chocolate bars too, hoping that Wonka would someday give another tour, and when that day came, Charlie might just open that wrapper and see the corner of something gold.
*EDIT*
I feel the need to share this entry from Wil Wheaton’s blog as it’s nice to see the other side of the coin sometimes. I love to see things going well, and people finding satisfaction in their endeavors. It made me feel good just to read this and live vicariously through him! Nice counterpoint to the incessant whining I can sometimes do here.

28
Feb
2005
15:57

Bah! You L.A. folks better not pass this up!

Yet another reason I need to be in L.A. Post haste! Eddie Izzard in L.A.!

Eddie will be performing next wednesday, thursday, friday and saturday (March 2nd – 5th) at:

The Coronet Theatre
366 N. La Cienega Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90048

Tickets available starting Monday, February 28th at 17:00 PST and are priced at $25.

TO BOOK CALL (US): 310.657.7377. NOW!