Cerebral Flotsam And Jetsam - My Mental Maelstrom

10
Mar
2023
16:05

Tips for IEM cleaning

As a professional musician, I’ve used IEMs (In-Ear Monitors) for many years now. They let me hear everything great as well as protect my hearing from loud stage levels, and they’re especially great for me since I’ve used digital modeling gear for decades now and don’t use an on-stage amp most of the time.

One difficulty with them is keeping them clean. Obviously this starts with your ears. I usually use an ear irrigation bottle to clean my ears before a gig. Usually just with water in the shower. Sometimes for a deep cleaning, I’ll pour a capful of hydrogen peroxide in one ear at a time, and let it do its work for a few minutes before turning over and letting it drain out on a tower. Please note I am not a doctor and I would definitely consult an audiologist or ENT before just listening to a guy on the internet.

Now despite trying to keep my ears clean, sometime your IEMs will still get some wax in them. They usually come with a small cleaning tool but it doesn’t go in very deep. Sometimes at a gig I’ll feel like one of my IEMs has stopped working but it’s always just blocked up and clearing the blockage brings everything back to normal. Recently I had a problem though in that some wax had gotten lodged deeper than the cleaning tool could reach. I managed to clear it with the gentle use of a pin but there was still some deep in there. I highly recommend getting translucent IEMs (mine are purple) as they allow to see inside them and know if there’s something lodged deep in there.

I have Cosmic Ears IEMs so I wrote to them asking what I should do. They told me I could send my IEMs to them (in the UK) and pay £50 for a “Deep Cleaning.” Naturally I did not want to spend that much plus shipping and be without my IEMs for an extended period of time. I started searching for other solutions. I found some “IEM Vacuums” online but they were all pretty expensive and with mixed reviews as to results. That’s when I discovered this simple, cheap hearing aid cleaning kit which seemed like just what I needed.

I really thought that it would be pretty tough to get that stuff out from deep in my IEMs and that I might risk pushing it in further, but I was pleasantly shocked at how easily I managed to gently maneuver the small flexible wire on one of the tools and easily pull some small wax chunks from deep down. I basically sat a bright LED flashlight on its end, held my transparent IEMs over it so I could see exactly what I was doing, and within a few minutes, I had them totally cleaned out!

Another tool that came in handy was a simple solder sucker similar to this one. I had one small chunk that I got near then end but couldn’t seem to coax out, and that solder sucker sucked it right out!

Obviously there are risks involved with everything mentioned here so be careful, gentle, and attempt at your own risk, but I was happy to find a good solution that worked for me that I could use regularly myself at home!

20
Feb
2023
21:36

Kvetching About “The Biz”

I don’t generally like complaining on the internet, but sometimes it is a really helpful part of the process to just get it out. Acting and music are the reasons I am in this universe. The things I have the most passions for and that make me feel the most fulfilled and alive. The “business” part of “show business” however is brutal, exhausting, and demoralizing. I’ve mentioned before how not many days go by that part of my doesn’t want to just quit, but also I know I can’t. I’d never be happy.

My acting career has been in what feels like the most stagnant slump ever for the last couple of years. Now of course, much of this could be simple skewed perception and many of my peers have expressed similar feelings that the business in general has been much slower and tougher. I realized last week that I felt like I have just kind of “given up.” Not given up acting, as I don’t think that could ever happen, but I realized I had only been doing things that just happened to come to me. When my agent sends me an audition, I do it and do my best. When someone comes to me with a role or a chance to audition I take it. Outside of that, however, I’m not doing anything for myself. I’m not hustling, chasing, looking. I’m not working on putting demo reels together or scouring casting sites for roles I can submit myself for. I’m just tired and demoralized and feel like nothing is really going to change unless some equivalent of a lottery ticket win just somehow finds me and drops in my lap. I feel stuck and frustrated.

While “fame” has never sounded like something I didn’t want, it has also never been the goal. All I’ve ever really wanted is to the things I love and do them well, and hopefully pay the bills while doing those things. And truthfully, from a certain perspective, I am doing that. I definitely try to never lose sight of that fact and that I’m living a life that would make younger me scream “Holy shit! You are living THE LIFE!” I definitely try to be happy in every present moment and not constantly adjust my sights so that reaching one goal is no longer satisfactory and I just push it further to something else I don’t have, but I don’t think that’s what this is. I’ve always had a vision for what I wanted to do and the life I wanted to live, and this isn’t it. It’s a good life, and on the path I want to be on, but I want more (a seemingly perpetual human condition).

I think the frustration stems from feeling like I just don’t have access to the opportunities I want and feel equipped for. There’s so much luck and things beyond our control and that’s always going to be the case. It’s almost as if I’m so close to it but still kept away from it, which in a ways is more frustrating than something seeming so far away as to the path to it being incomprehensible.

This is not necessarily anything new and I feel like it’s a common phase that all my artist friends go through. That doesn’t make it any less frustrating though. To those of you still hustling and busting your asses trying to make things happen, I salute you. I wish I could at least say “Well I’m doing everything I can on my end so I have no fault in any career dissatisfaction” but that would absolutely be a lie.

I shall try to heed my own words from the past and “Keep my head down and do good work.”

18
Jan
2023
17:02

The Perfect Earbuds! Bose SoundSport WIRED.

I’ve finally (re)found my perfect general use PC earbuds!

You probably know that I love sharing things that I love. I just got a set of Bose Soundsport Wired earbuds off ebay for $45. Let me explain why they’re my favorites.

When I’m at my computer and need to be quiet or just need to hear more detail, I like to use earbuds. I don’t like over the head headphones as they don’t play well with glasses and they’re big and bulky and give you headphone hair.

I don’t really like earbuds that insert into your ear with silicone tips.

I don’t need wireless at my computer as I already have way too many things to worry about charging and when I’m just sitting in a chair in front of a screen, wired is great.

For critical purposes like mixing and mastering music and such, I use my Slate VSX headphones which are amazing and model studios, clubs, cars, etc. to make sure your mixes translate everywhere.

I do love the form factor of Apple Airpods as they don’t stick IN your ear but still have the benefits of earbuds over headphones, but I generally only use those with my phone because again, I’m on my PC all day and don’t want to worry about charging.

Many years ago, I actually had a set of Bose earbuds with the same form factor as these new ones I just got, but at some point over the years I got something else and sold them, and have since had several more.

Finding these WIRED was tough. Ebay was the only place I could find them as Bose’s current offerings all seem to be wireless. I could not be happier with these. They sit comfortably without sticking IN my ear, I can still hear my surroundings (this might be a minus for some folks), the little flanges keep them in place securely (there’s 3 sizes included), and to me they sound great for general use! I should have never got rid of the first pair I had with this type of bud!

08
Jan
2023
22:00

Dream Theatre 74

I feel like my brain uses my creativity against me when comes to bad dreams. They end up being artistic, nuanced, subtle dramas with an emotional gut punch.

I had at least a couple of dreams last night where an ex and I were together but everything felt weird and tense and there was a disconnect and I felt like they were not telling me things and maybe they were unhappy and had checked out and a breakup was coming. 

But it was the last dream of the night that really sucker punched me. I’ve forgotten most of the details now, but it was felt like some kind of sci-fi suspense film or something. All I can remember now is that me and another character suddenly found ourselves in what should have been my house (not a real place, just a fictional dream house), but we suddenly realized it was totally empty and that we must have both been brought to another timeline from each of our respective timelines or something. There was a feeling of panic and then the dream took on an inception-like layer in that I dreamed that I was dreaming that and probably moaning in distress in my dream-real-life like when you try to scream in a dream but can’t and in real life you’re making these muted sounds of actually trying to scream in your sleep. 

In my dream within a dream, I started to come to as I felt soft lips on my cheek trying to comfort me and gently wake me from the nightmare. It was a warm and sweet moment. But then I not only came out of my dream within a dream, but also woke up from that dream into the actual real world where it was all fiction and the loss of that sweet moment was devastating and brought real tears for a moment. It’s now night and I can still feel those lips on my cheek.

14
Dec
2022
15:07

Dream Theatre 73

In this dream I was back on a cruise ship again but only for a couple of weeks. It was a sort of part-time work and part-time vacation situation. At one point there was a woman who wanted to speak to someone about some kind problem and I was asked to go deal with it as they thought I had a very diplomatic nature and was good with people and handling things like this. When I arrived there was a very long dinner table and a woman at the head of it with long black hair in a long black dress. She seemed pleasant enough but then at this point I think the dream morphed into something else (or else I don’t remember what else happened before the “morph”).

Now this woman was shorter with a very short blondish kind of pixie cut. She had made her interest in me very clear and we were holding hands and running around looking for some place private to make out. We found what was the equivalent of a kind of portable little booth about the size of one those photo booths. It was basically a rectangular portable frame (PVC pipe maybe) with a 2 person bench inside and a curtain you could draw closed. We dashed inside and drew the curtain, exchanging passionate, hungry words and kisses. Then a Maitre D type person arrived with someone who apparently reserved this booth for dinner. The lady and I excused ourselves and apologized as we pondered where to go. I think we both had other people sharing rooms with us so neither of our rooms was an option. I also wondered how the hell someone could have dinner in the tiny booth that was basically a bench with a curtain.

Then I woke up feeling high from all those chemicals you feel in a new romance. I daydreamed of my mystery shipboard lady for the rest of the day.

21
Nov
2022
14:56

The Fall Of Twitter And The Rise Of Mastodon

Ever since Elon took over Twitter and made and endless series of absolutely boneheaded decisions, people have been scattering to find a new home. Mastodon has seen a huge influx of users that has taxed servers and caused some hiccups as admins upgraded capacities and such. Recently I’ve seen many people trying Hive, but I can’t say I’m a fan of it, while I am a big fan of Mastodon, so I’m going to focus on that.

Firstly, I am a Mastodon newb, not an expert, but I wanted to share my experience and what I do know to help encourage people to come over there because I want all my friends at the same party! There’s plenty of more knowledgeable sources on the web for information about Mastodon and the Fediverse such as Fedi.tips.

Mastodon can seem intimidating at first, I know. There is no main central website, and that’s the point. No corporate behemoth in charge of everyone’s fate pumping algorithms to get you hooked and feed you what it thinks you want while looking for every way to make a profit. There are thousands of “instances” you can join each run by its own admin and varying in size, scope, and rules. I chose to go ahead and join the largest, and I believe original instance, mastodon.social. Now no matter what instance you join, you can follow anyone from any instance, so you don’t have to worry about being on the same instance as your friends. I initially signed up on mastodon.art years ago but then when I went back recently after the big Twitter kerfuffle, I had forgotten where I signed up and so made my new account on mastodon.social. You can “migrate” to other instance later (only once every 30 days I believe) which will allow you to bring your following/followers with you but NOT your posts, which is important to note but also probably not as important as you think.

You might want to join an instance with like-minded people, or an instance that has rules of conduct you agree with such as actively prohibiting racism, sexism, and bigotry in general (which seems to be most of them) Instances can also actively block other instances that they know violate such things or spread hate and misinformation or any other criteria that might make an instance something you don’t want to associate with. Individual users can also block users or instances. Also of note is that because of the huge influx from Twitter lately, some instances are not taking new signups right now as they try keep performance scaling with the growing userbase.

I felt a bit at sea in my first few days using Mastodon but quickly found my own way there along with nothing but helpful people. In my fist couple of days on Mastodon I had more nice, enjoyable interactions with total strangers than I think I’ve had in my 15 years on Twitter. There is the “Home” tab which is posts from people you follow in chronological order (again no algorithms pushing specific content at you). The “Explore” tab which is posts that are popular at the moment, the “Local” tab which is chronological posts from people on your instance, and the “Federated” tab which is chronological posts from all the instances on the “Fediverse” that your instance knows about. How does one instance “know about” another? That’s definitely above my level of knowledge but there’s plenty of resources out there like the aforementioned fedi.tips.

I personally find myself spending most of my time on Explore, Local, and Federated discovering, meeting, and interacting with new people. Miraculously, I have yet to encounter a single jerk. Now this is the internet, so I’m sure they’re out there but Mastodon’s record with me so far is amazing. It just feels warm welcoming, relaxed, fun, and a great place. I only wish more of my friends were there too!

With people seeking Twitter alternatives, it unfortunately feels like everyone is scattering and splintering. It very much reminds me of when I used to play an MMORPG called “City Of Heroes.” For me that was my “Golden Age” of MMOs in that I was part of a really wonderful “Supergroup” (same as a “clan” or “guild”) of amazing people. After that game started to fade (or people’s interest in it) everyone scattered to totally different games and even you went to the same game as some other friends, you would often have friends on different servers and couldn’t all play together. It was never the same after that. I know I’ll never convince all my wonderful internet friends to come to same place but I wanted to at least do my part in trying to sing the praises of the place where I’ve landed and am really enjoying. I want to do anything I can to help other understand it or give it a try. You can find me here!

27
Jul
2022
23:58

Dream Theatre 72

In this dream I went into a restaurant to get some food. I think it was a Freebird’s Burrito place. Maybe a Torchy’s Tacos, I’m not sure. I knew that this place was near where my ex lived so I sort of half-wondered if I might run into her. I stopped in my tracks a bit when I saw someone who looked like her husband and I was trying to figure out if it was him. Then I saw her turn around and look at me, but ironically the guy was not her husband, just some stranger.

She looked surprised but not unhappy to see me and we both kind of smiled and I could tell we were both sort of trying to figure out if we should hug or not. I wanted to. We ended up staying about 10 feet or so apart as we said our hellos and she grabbed her food on her way out. Of course I overanalyzed this and thought “Are we just not hugging because of the pandemic and such or did she not want to hug me?”

She said something to the cashier along the lines of “Hey, take care of that guy,” like she was a regular and was letting the cashier know that she knew me and to give me a good deal or something.

Then I woke up.

12
Jun
2022
17:27

Body Dysmorphia

Sometimes I get something rolling around in the old noggin that wants to come out. Usually it’s partially for my own processing but more so because I think it’s important for people who experience the same things to know they aren’t alone and that often people you would never expect, share the same struggles.

As I was winding down last night and having a shower, I realized just how much self-loathing I had for this meat suit I walk around inhabiting. I loathe my physical form. Detest my body. I realized just how strong and pervasive that negative voice is. First, I think a little relevant personal history is in order.

Continue reading…
28
Apr
2022
1:31

Nord Stage 3 Compact Review

Nord Stage 3

I love it. I love everything about it. The sounds. The quality. The efficient and smart design of every facet of it. The more I dig into the more I’m just blown away by it and can understand why it’s a professional standard seen on the biggest stages around the world and in seemingly every television or video performance I see. Yes, they are crazy expensive, and worth more than many used cars but now I understand why. They are hand-built in Stockholm. The side caps and pitch bend stick are made of wood. The wood pitch sticks are all hand-carved by a man named Aaby Henriksson who is now in his 80s. Of course you can find endless information on line about specs, features, details and all, but so much of the ingenious design is in the more subtle things that you feel when you’re using it and hard to quantify in words. I have yet to encounter a single moment of wondering why they did something a certain way or wishing they had done it a different way. With so many knobs and buttons on the keyboard itself, you are very rarely diving into any menus. Many of the controls have other functions as well if you use the Shift key or hold them down which makes for more efficiency and simplicity without trying to find room to add even more controls which might start bordering on overwhelming and would also surely add to the already sizable expense, but also thanks to the smart design, is also just unnecessary.

Continue reading…

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