So you want to sing “Hey Jude”…

Ok, then, listen up. This is important. Hey Jude is one of those big, feel good, everybody sing along songs. You can just feel the tension rising as all of us wannabe Beatles lie in wait like hungry predators for that grand finale of an ending where everyone sings “Naaaa naa naa na na na naaaaa, na na na naaaaaaa, hey Jude”. However, here’s where we run into the worldwide epidemic. Let me demonstrate…
“Remember to let her under your skin, (the anticipation begins, the wolves are salivating) then you begin to make it better, better, better, better, (people are on the verge of aneurysms now…here it comes) BETTER, BETTER, YEAH!”(YES! Finally!)
Naaa naa naa na na na naaaaaaaaaa, na na na naaaaaaaa, hey Jude”
>>>JUDE JUDE-A JUDE-A JUDE-AY JUDE-AY JUDE-AYYYOOOOOWWW! YOW!<<< That guy. That guy just ruined it. Anyone know why? Anyone? Bueller? Because Paul doesn't shout that for another 3 rounds. However, that guy just can't wait to yell JUDE "JUDE-A JUDE-A JUDE-AY JUDE-AY JUDE-AYYYOOOOOWWW! YOW!" so he pounces to make sure no one else gets it first. Premature e-Jude-ulation. He has just completely ruined that line. In the song the line is placed perfectly for artistic effect. It just feels right. You spend three rounds slowly building up the tension, and then on that fourth round the horns and strings kick in, bringing things up yet another notch, and then at the end of the fourth round, Paul explodes in the orgasmic frenzy that is "JUDE JUDE-A JUDE-A JUDE-AY JUDE-AY JUDE-AYYYOOOOOWWW! YOW!". Ahhhh. It feels so much better when you wait. The perfect ratio of tension to release. Too early and there's just not enough tension to release, too late and it misses it's window and falls like a badly timed punchline. So, everyone practice along with your CD, record, tape, 8-track, mp3, or whatever you happen to have: "Remember to let her under your skin, then you begin to make it better, better, better, better, BETTER, BETTER, YEAH Naaa naa naa na na na naaaaaaaaaa, na na na naaaaaaaa, hey Jude (Stop it! Not yet! Wait for it!)
Naaa naa naa na na na naaaaaaaaaa, na na na naaaaaaaa, hey Jude
(That’s it! You! Out!)
Naaa naa naa na na na naaaaaaaaaa, na na na naaaaaaaa, hey Jude
(*glares* I see the twitching…don’t even think about it)
(horns and strings come in now)
Naaa naa naa na na na naaaaaaaaaa, na na na naaaaaaaa, hey Jude
JUDE JUDE-A JUDE-A JUDE-AY JUDE-AY JUDE-AYYYOOOOOWWW! YOW!”
…and there we are. Practice until your willpower allows you to exercise enough restraint to do it right. Then you can get your official “Hey Jude Police” badge. Be vigilant. The only way we can stop this is together. Knowledge is power. Thank you, good night.
*Beatle bow*