Cerebral Flotsam And Jetsam - My Mental Maelstrom

17
May
2005
12:34

The mysteries of “24”

While “24” is still a kick ass show, I’ve found several amusing anomalies lately. For one, they seem to have become very loose with their “real time” format. A few of the many transgressions this season:
Apparently every location in Los Angeles is only a few miles from CTU as it never takes them long to get to or from any particular location.
Just last night they managed to call a cab company to inquire about their logs from the week before, get in touch with the particular driver they needed to speak to and get all the information they needed from him in one single commercial break.
A roomful of politicians who were rousted at 5 a.m. for an emergency meeting were all at the capital and dressed in full suits and ties in less than 15 minutes!
My most amusing moment is not time related: Jack, riding in a helicopter having a tender heart to heart cell phone conversation with Audrey, hangs up the cell phone and puts on one of the helicopter headsets (which are necessary when riding in helicopters due to the noise) to hear and speak to the agent sitting right next to him. Damn, he must have a kick ass cell phone.

17
May
2005
7:57

Addictive and violent fun!

A few years back I discovered Porrasturvat, an addictively fun little “game” where you shove a guy down the stairs and get points from his injuries. I decided to check it out again and found a new version involving a truck now. Try either one, and you will be addicted.

06
May
2005
9:34

You’ll be a Dennnntiiist!

34 years old and I had my very first fillings on Wednesday. First a little back story:
Up until I was somewhere in my teens I had been to the dentist every six months like a good person and had never had a single cavity or filling in my life. At some point, once I became more responsible for myself, I quit going to the dentist. For somewhere in the realm of 10 years or more, I did not go to the dentist for checkups. The only exception during that time was when my wisdom teeth started bothering me so I went to have them checked, and subsequently had them removed.
A few years ago, once I had a job with insurance, I started going again fearing that my many years of neglect might have left a disaster zone in my mouth. Luckily I found out that I had a bunch of very minor cavities but nothing big. I didn’t have the money to get them fixed (even with insurance paying a portion) so I put it off. And put it off.
Cut to several years later, I’m now living in Austin with a good job and insurance again. I figure I should probably bite the bullet, find me a regular dentist in my new home city and perhaps get some of the work done that’s been lingering for years. I send out an email at work asking for recommendations and decide to try the “Austin Dental Spa” I’m pretty sure they’re going to be more expensive than other dentists, but I figure if I have to do something I don’t want to do, I might as well make it as pleasant as possible, even if it costs a little more. I’m glad I did. The offices are really nice with a really pleasant atmosphere and the staff are all very friendly and helpful. They give you a little bottle of water when you come in and have a nice private bathroom and a little alcove with a couple of sinks where you can brush and floss before you appointment with some disposable brushes which produce their own toothpaste when you get them wet and start brushing. They also have a masseuse who comes around and gives you a hand/arm massage while you’re in the chair.
I went and had an examination, and of course my teeth and gums weren’t in great shape after having been once again neglected for several years, but nothing was dire. I came back in for a cleaning, and got some special rinse to help with my poor neglected gums. I had about 8-10 teeth which had some degree of cavities, but much to my surprise, none of them were very bad at all. I was given the option of having them all done at once, or doing two visits with half my mouth being done on each visit. I chose that option thinking that would be better since I wouldn’t end up with my entire face numb and being in the chair for three hours.
They also have cool flat computer monitors over the chair which serve various purposes. When they took my x-rays and digital pictures of my mouth, they were displayed on the monitor so I could see what was going on and they could explain and discuss exactly what was up with my teeth. They also showed me some videos on brushing and flossing and fillings since I’d never had any before.
Last Wednesday I had the left half of my face done. I was a bit nervous (as I always am before any kind of medical or dental procedure) but as has always turned out to be the case for me, the actual event was nothing at all. Before they began they asked if I wanted Nitrous (laughing gas), and being a little nervous and having never tried it, I said “sure!” I can’t say I really noticed any effects from it though. If it did have effects, they were very subtle. So much so, that I wasn’t really sure if I was feeling any effects at all. The only time I remember definitely noticing anything was when they were done and they sat me up and I felt really light headed for about a minute or two.
I had five teeth filled on my left side. At first the dentist said my cavities were so shallow that she didn’t think I needed any anesthetic, but that she would gladly administer it if I wanted. I said that if she didn’t think I needed it we could try without (if I could get away without that annoying numb face factor then I was all for it), and she said that if I felt anything at all, just say so and we would do the whole numbing thing. At one pint I kind of winced, but to be honest, I’m not even sure if it was actual “pain” or just the pressure and coldness from the constant water rinse they spray while drilling. Just to be safe she went ahead and numbed me up, even though I would have been willing to try a little longer since, as I said, I hadn’t really felt anything “hurt” as of yet.
I always hear that the shots are the only part of fillings that may kind of sting for a second, but my dentist rocked. I didn’t feel a thing, even as she was administering the shots.
About an hour and a half later, I had five new fillings and went back to work feeling like I only had half a face since the other half felt like a big slab of fake rubber just attached to my head. I took great joy that it allowed me to do a really great Eddie Money impression.
In hindsight I do wish I had just done them all at once though and just got it all done with. Now I have to go back in a month for the other half which is more of a pain with the travel time, waiting in the lobby, etc. It would have been better to just spend extra time in the chair while I was there. All in all, as usual my dread leading up to the event was far worse than the actual event which was nothing at all.

03
May
2005
15:08

Amy Poehler wants me

I had a very strange dream the other night. I was at a party hanging out with Amy Poehler (she’s currently on Saturday Night Live and co-anchors Weekend Update with Tina Fey). In my dream, we were outside chatting, laughing, and generally flirting and having a good time. At one point she grabbed my arms and started swinging me around in a circle, slowly pulling me closer and closer until we stopped and she started to kiss me. I stopped her and said we couldn’t do that as we were both married. This actually just caused her crush on me to deepen, a my virtuousness was admirable to her.
I awoke and had to laugh to myself at how completely random this dream seemed to me since, while I’ve always thought Amy Poehler seemed like a really cool, talented and pretty performer who I’d probably be great friends with, I’d never had any kind of infatuation with her or anything. Now, however, my theoretical friendship with Amy Poehler is a bit awkward. We’re both cool though.

28
Apr
2005
21:43

Two Timer!

I’m happy to say that my second short film, “E-ruption” won the “People’s Choice” award for at the second annual “Kinetoscopic Wonderment Film Festival.” Last year I took home “Best Film” and “People’s Choice”. The pressure is on for next year.
Following the patter of punny awards, this year’s were “The Oscars”. Mine was a golden hot dog with little arms holding a sword (as in an Oscar Meyer Weiner), while the two other awards were a golden trash can with eyes poking out (Oscar the Grouch) and a golden Oscar Fish (Last year’s were the “Palm D’or” like Cannes, except they were actually door knobs on palms.)
I may add a picture at a later time when I’m not so damn tired!

04
Apr
2005
15:59

E-ruption

I have finished my second short film. As with the last one I am both proud of it and embarrassed by it simultaneously. The complete lack of budget, equipment, and the tight time deadline again make the production values pretty much non-existent, but hopefully the content and the experience will hold enough value to get the viewer past that.
This year was a bumpy ride. I wasn’t as organized I should have been, and there were 2 scenes that had to be re-shot. One was because the cameraman apparently forgot to turn the mic on, so there was no sound, and the other was because the cameraman thought that he could not find one of the scenes anywhere on any of the tapes. For the latter case, I re-shot the scene myself (my cameraman had a previous engagement) just days before the deadline, and edited it all together. As I knew would happen, he then later found the footage in an odd place on a tape.
The one thing I’ve learned is that I’m just going to have to edit my own films. This isn’t because of any deficiency with my cameraman/editor, but more because I’m a picky bastard, and since no one is getting paid, I can’t really expect too much time and effort from people. With both of my films, I ended up taking the “final edit” and doing quite a significant amount of additional editing only to realize it would have been much easier to have just done it myself from the beginning than it is to try and tweak or band-aid an existing full edit.
We got home from my band gig at around 7:00 p.m. on Saturday and I edited until 3:00 a.m. I then awoke at 11:45 .m. and edited until about 7:00 p.m. I was mostly finished at that point with just a few more tiny tweaks.
You can view it here.

31
Mar
2005
14:34

Mitch Hedberg 1968-2005

One of the most brilliant comics ever to make me laugh my ass off has died. Details are just hitting the news agencies. I heard about this early this morning but couldn’t confirm it until now. Comedy has lost a legend, even if many people have never heard of him. I even wrote a part for him in my screenplay with a bit of dialogue based on one of his stand up bits. I am actually quite surprised at how much his death has affected me. I had the pleasure of seeing him live three different times, and even getting a picture with him on one occasion.

I highly recommend grabbing this great package of his two CD’s and a DVD. I’m trying to come up with some witty Mitch-like quip here, but it’s not happening. File this under “D” for “Damn”. It’s right next to “Donut”.

In addition to his CD’s there’s a great thread here with a lot of his jokes that people saw him do live but aren’t on wither of his CD’s.

And now my lame attempt at diffusing tragedy with a poor emulation of how I imagine Mitch in the great beyond:

[mitch emulation]
Man, when I first got here, there was this blinding white light and these voices saying “Mitchell, go towards the light..” I said “not until you install a dimmer or perhaps issue some incorporeal sunglasses. That is too damn bright. Perhaps you should consider a lower wattage.”
[/mitch emulation]

“I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later.”
-Mitch Hedberg

13
Mar
2005
17:52

Here’s the plan:

Will’s company will decide to leave Hollywood for the more laid back, burgeoning film industry in Austin, TX, and we will convince Terry Gilliam and Eddie Izzard to also come here for a production. Probably Gilliam’s “Dark Omens” which would also mean Neil Gaiman would come here as a consultant.
That’s the short version. Suffice to say, that was the end result of a random conversation Jess and I had the other day. My favorite point was when my brain about snapped at the bizarre thought of Terry Gilliam directing a film starring Ben stiller and Eddie Izzard.
The other option was that Will, Annika, Jess and I start that fantasy production company we’ve talked about to produce this project. I mean, come on, who wouldn’t give us financing for something that bizarre? 😉